I am a "very pleasant lady"

[HauntedBungalow]

... according to the consultant who wrote to my GP following an appointment. It says so on the first line of the letter.

I was feeling quite chuffed about this but when I told my cynical piss taking 21 yo son he said it probably meant I was a bit dozy. Surely not!

Does anyone know if "very pleasant lady" means fragrant and nice, or if it means thick?

I've obviously disinherited the son, regardless. (Not so dozy now am I? Twat.)

It means you're a pushover who didn't question or challenge anything they said.

Thats why I use ‘upset’ but if they have said they were angry I’ll use their language.

I have worked in mental health too. Acute and community. People are people and mostly (with the exception of some very acute psychotic episodes or extreme personality disorders) active listening, accurate empathy, congruence and clear boundaries were fine.

We all have mental health, it’s on a continuum and is impacted by our history and whatever life is throwing at us, is my position and I’ll always talk about and to people with respect, regardless, and I don’t ever resort to code. If there are risk issues that need sharing with other professionals that can’t be shared with the patient then that will be on the notes system.

I expect meaning can vary doctor to doctor. None of my doctors seem to have an issue with it. Current GP knows I like to research things, more medical journals and drug safety information as opposed to just googling, so she'll give me some info on a treatment for one of my chronic condtions and ask if I want to go away and do some more research first or start the treatment then and there. Sometimes I ask her opinion on a treatment I've read about, see if she thinks it's worth trying. Over 30 years of medical tests and treatment and I don't remember any descriptors of me as opposed to my conditions and symptoms.

My DH got 'distinguished and charming gentleman' from a consultant once.

I thought the GP might have been slightly surprised at that considering he had been most vocal about the (genuinely shit) care he had received to date.

I had the exact same thing said about me 😄
It’s obviously some sort of code.

I did a letter very recently (more than full time medical proofer reader from home) who said I saw this very beautiful young 6 year old boy and his 12 year old sister. That gave me pause for thought.

It was a very Difficult/challenging consultation today miss xxx was not happy or upset about xxxx. Iv had it in a few of mine.

I don't really think that this is needed though. Yes doctors would need to say challenging or difficult or whatever if there was a patient who was violent or awkward, but "pleasant" is surely the default position? And the fact you're pleasant isn't relevant to the illness/condition they are seeing you for.

I've been described as a "pleasant GP's wife". Which I think is code for "don't fuck this one up". Depends on whether you read this as me or my dh being the pleasant one. I suppose!

What's the difference between ' a very pleasant lady' and a 'delightful lady'? - I feel I might have upgraded myself in my latest letter

Yeah I wouldn't use it as a bad thing

The thing is that people are seen from all walks of life. Some people come in with really clear knowledge and ideas and others have no outside knowledge

If you have a kidney condition for example I've met people who aren't sure what the kidneys do so you'd need to start with that and others that come in with medical journals

Sometimes people end up feeling treated like idiots if a Dr over explains a condition they've lived with for 20 years. Sometimes I'll note things like medical knowledge and research because some people really want to be told actions of specific meds for example and others dont

When my daughter was 7 yo she saw a consultant and his opening line on his letter back to the GP was “this delightful and charming young girl”… I was really pleased at the time, now I’m thinking this is just what they all write!

Difficult. That’s what my friend got, for wanting to be taken seriously.

Another Tory hater. People....this is why Trump was voted in. Stop calling people evil, thick etc just because they disagree with your politics. Seriously grow up.

I was more upset when they stopped putting young infront of lady

I'm a med sec and my consultant always refers to women in their twenties as "I saw this pleasant girl......." makes me cringe.

Men in their twenties he refers to as "young man".

You know you're not allowed to question drs as it hurts their egos

It’s very weird isn’t it? I’ve no idea why doctors do this. I suppose they can hardly write “ I met this rather sarcastic woman” ( in my case) or more truthfully “ I met with this woman who has given up all hope of ever receiving prompt medical treatment”
I just wish they’d drop it and stick to facts. It sounds condescending and judgemental.

🤯

Knew it would be a hospital letter!

My learning disabled daughter has been referred to in consultants’ letters as ‘this pleasant young lady’ despite the fact that she has been known to tell doctors to piss off !

I am a parent to a child with a range of illnesses and conditions and have had to really fight his corner for him to be assessed properly at times when I have know there was something wrong. I swear I can see their eyes rolling when we come in. I have been described as 'concerned mother' and so forth which basically just means 'pain in the arse'.

Turns out that yes my son DOES have autism. He does have adhd. He does have tourettes. He does have asthma. He does have cold urticaria. He does have pernicious anaemia and he does have a blood clotting disorder. Fucks me right off how dismissive health professionals can be - ask any parent of a child with SEN.

Stunned that they are still writing such patronising nonsense in medical letters.

We were (rightly) advised against character assessments decades ago.

Never in my chuff been described by consultants on letters as 'pleasant' or any variation thereof. Given the sheer amount of referrals etc I've had, that's maybe saying something.

I imagine it's probably because whilst I am polite, I absolutely advocate quite strongly for myself, so that I'm not fobbed off for another 10 years for an illness I could have been receiving medical help for rather than just countless unproductive appointments and referrals.

If that makes me difficult, so be it. I couldn't really give a fuck what their opinion of me is - mine of them is hardly the most endearing given my experience, though I have absolutely always remained polite.