Are you conscious about what people think off you

[GlobalWater]

When you’re talking to people do you worry about whether you are likeable to interesting or is it not normal to always be thinking this? I find myself in this mindset an awful lot and I wonder if it’s something I need to overcome? I’m not like this around my family but that’s about it.

Oh God.. I just think I come across really wierd in pretty much all interactions I have with anyone I don't know really well. Because I'm overthinking it all massively and I can't stop.
I feel like an alien.
I think I may be autistic tbh.
I was shaned a lot as a child for not meeting people's eyes etc..
Now during any interaction I am hyper self conscious and thinking 'now give eye contact, now smile.. what is their facial expression? How dies that indicate they feel? Does it indicate they are happy with this exchange? If not what's gone wrong what should I do?'
And it could literally just be someone passing me in the street saying good morning... I will still find it incredibly stressful and be thinking all of those thibgs. I don't want to be rude, I want to convey that I like them, I want to be liked myself..
People say just act natural and I do not have one single idea what they are on about..
Sometimes I'll pick up from people's tiny movements and facial expressions, that they've found me odd and i feel it so sharply it's like I am them looking at me iyswim... I'm hyper aware of that abd yet have no idea what to do to rectify the situation.

I used to be self conscious in my 20's and 30's but don't care now (mid 40's). I even find it amusing when someone quite visibly doesn't like me! I would never have thought I would feel like this but it's incredibly liberating.
I did read a book once called 'the life changing magical art of not giving a fuck' maybe that helped!

Yep, almost constant internal monologue that I seem stupid/boring/weird

Not anymore, I mean I used to and if I thought someone didn't like me I used to feel so upset about it. Now at 52 I don't give one jot. I have my tribe and my people and meet new friends all the time so I'm really not bothered

I generally don’t, but have recently started a project with a lunatic colleague. He’s a nit-picky misogynistic racist. And we have already had a couple of tense conversations.

Most bizarre is when his wife gets territorial about him by coming into the teams camera and saying “Hello Horsey” in the most obvious fake simpering ‘get away from my man’ tone, as she drapes her arm over his shoulder.

In 35 years working I have never seen the like, and feel so embarrassed for the pair of them.

Edited to add: I don’t care what either of them thinks of me, but I would like to hear the conversation where my name is mentioned- just out of pure nosiness.
In the spirit of sharing- I think the pair of them are insane.

Yes I do and can relate to much that has been said here (I'm 39) I've had CBT, psychotherapy and even tried crystal healing! I appear confident but I am very self conscious inside, always overanalysing myself, and often come out in a sweat which makes it all the worse! I would love to break the cycle as it's exhausting and so unnecessary

I came on to say much the same, I used to care. Not now!! The older I get the less I give a shite (and I used to be very self conscious)

Worrying about what others think won’t change their minds. People will hold their opinions regardless, so why give it power over you? Let go of what you can’t control, and invest that energy into what truly matters to you.

@Carsarelife I think not having a tribe is a big part off it. If I had one I would probably feel less of a need to impress but sadly I don’t.

Change the narrative, who do YOU like and why. Spend your time with them, simple x

It's none of my business what people think of me. I can't pretend to be something I'm not just to get someone to like me. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's ok. We all have different values and personalities and sometimes they just don't match up. We're all kind of squashy jigsaw pieces and sometimes we fit each other very well, sometimes it's comfortable for a while, and sometimes it just doesn't work. None of them are wrong. It's just the way it is.

Nope. And it's so liberating after years of caring so much.

now over 35 years old…: I don’t care except for my close family and friends.

I admire a few and have some aspirations.

the older I get the crueller the world appears

Like the saying goes - the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I'm quite a marmite person and people generally think I'm fab or awful. Not much middle ground with me. Fortunately the people who matter to me are in the 'fab' camp. I used to worry if anyone was off with me (generally women), and worry that there was something unlikeable about me, but I honestly don't care anymore. I know I'm a good person with lots of positive qualities and I don't need the validation of acquaintances or colleagues.

Doesn't matter how much of a people pleaser you are, there's always someone keen to put you down, usually out of jealously or bitterness, so be your unapologetic self and if some people don't like it, so what?

@LolaB19 Oh no, I was hoping someone might come along and say CBT or therapy helped with this!

With my family, no, but most other people - yes, to some degree I'm constantly worrying that I'm boring them, they think I'm weird, my face is weird etc.

I was very shy when I was younger and still quiet now. I was bullied and still have very low self esteem at almost 40. I do care a lot less now than I used to though.

Since I lost my gran, all the time. I worry about losing anyone else who I love.

Never but I’m good with words, I can speak to anyone. Can also work out very quickly what sort of conversation people will prefer or what to avoid.

Not any more no . But I don't want to really make small talk anymore , so if I can I will avoid old acquaintances in town . If I have to speak I am just polite but don't over share .

That doesn't mean it won't work for others!