Is this a weird birthday present?

[Bugpuffin]

Friend's birthday, he's organised for a group to go out for food and then to an event. I known it divides MN, but in our circles it's very much the norm that everyone will pay for themselves at this kind of thing.

I don't generally do birthday presents for friends, but if we're going out celebrating, would probably take a token.

So, I found a site offering heavily discounted tickets for the event and bought 10 at a total cost of £40. (Full price £16 each).

Rather than collecting £4 from everyone, I was thinking I'll give them to him as a birthday present and he can "treat" everyone.

It's more than I'd spend usually, but also £40 isn't a sum of money I'll miss.

He's a good friend, who's been there for me in a difficult time, probably more than the rest of the group realise. I'd prefer they didn't know the tickets were from me.

You’re essentially telling him that his present is to appear generous to his friends by pretending he bought them all tickets to an event. It’s an odd “present”, yes: it’s aren’t conditional on what somebody else wants you to do. I wouldn’t want to do what you’re going to ask him to do, it would feel incredibly false and awkward.

It’s quite weird. Can’t you just ask him and say you’d like to pay for the event?

It's weird to pretend they aren't from you. Maybe tell the birthday guy and let him decide

It’s a bit odd yes, it’s not a birthday present really for your friend and just complicating the night out. Just tell everyone you got the tickets and let them buy you a drink or so?

I just thought saved two jobs, having to get a present and collecting the money. And he'd probably like it more than some "thing".

So he gets a birthday present, but doesn't, because he gives away 9/10 of it.

You get 1/10 back.

Usually people drop out of these things, so probably a couple of tickets spare - who do they go to?

Nobody has had a choice in the event except birthday boy, so it's not a favour to them either especially.

Sorry OP, a bit of an odd choice. I'd have put it to the group that you'd found this deal and do people want you to sort tickets?

Yes, I'd also put it to the group and ask if you'd like them to buy for everyone and they pay you back. Then sort out present for the birthday boy separately. You're kind of doing him a favour by making it cheaper for everyone anyway.

I've obviously over complicated things, whilst trying to be helpful. I saw the offer and because £40 isn't that big a deal to me, I just bought them while they were available. Then let him know I'd got them, he said something about collecting funds and I said "don't worry, we can call it your birthday present".

If it had been a normal night out, not his birthday, I'd have probably just said don't worry. Fwiw, he wouldn't have been expecting a gift of any kind.

Its definitely no "weird" its just unconventional. Essentially you've bought him a ticket to a concert for his birthday (I assume its an event he'd want to go to) and he also gets to go with whoever he choses free of cost to them, or he can ask them to pay. Personally id be so grateful. I've been in situations where I don't go somewhere because my friend cant afford to go at the time.
Its a nice idea and certainly better than nothing lol

I'd see it as a kind present, organising my friends to spend an evening at an event for me 😊

You haven’t complicated anything by buying the tickets, the complicated part is wanting to give them to your friend and then have him pretend he bought them to everyone else. Just leave that part out and it’s fine!

Yes. The reason is I know I'm better off than most of the group and try not to be flash with it. I wouldn't tell anyone IRL that I won't miss £40.

Sounds fine to me though I think I'd have asked him first just in case there had been a change of plan, change in numbers or he'd already bought his.

Yes, I risked £40 and would have written it off if any of those things had happened. I was concerned to get them before they sold out.

What if others have already seen this offer and booked their own £4 tickets?

It's too late now but I think you'd have been better off posting in a group chat that you'd found a great offer sharing the link.

(Also, yes, it's a weird gift)

Yes it's odd that you've bought 4 tickets for him to give it and pretend he bought them

It's really odd. Why wouldn't you buy his ticket as his present?

Well, I know the people and think that's highly unlikely, but if they have , I've wasted the money, which I can live with.

So his birthday gift from you is to appear as though he’s treated everyone for his birthday?

I've bought 10 tickers at £4 each, rather than the £16 face value. I bought all 10 when I saw the offer because it was such a good deal, to make sure everyone got one before they sold out, and because it seemed a nonsense to mess around over £4 each.

Yes. But it's not like he's sacrificed a big gift to do it, I'd probably have bought him some beer.

Happy birthday, here is your present- it's you giving some other people four quid 😬

Sorry, I do think it's a bit odd!

Yes I understood your post and don't have a problem with the logic.

But then you went on to say that the present to the birthday person was giving him all the tickets so he could give the tickets out to the people (so it appeared that he was treating the people). It's that bit that's strange