I feel like I am drowning and don't know where to turn

[Ohhelpohnoanothergruffalo]

So my DH had a Stroke 3 months ago has been unable to work and has recently come home, we have carers coming in twice daily which is a huge help as we also have 4 DC

My car has recently died so I'm unable to ferry the DC about and walking to and from the childminders takes me approximately 4 hours per day, the older DC are at school and attend a local breakfast club

I took 6 weeks off work following my DH stroke and hospital admission and this has had a huge impact on us as a family as we have no family support or friends who can help

I feel like I am drowning , as a result of my time off work, majority of which was unpaid , I am now on an absence management plan as my absence percentage has triggered this

Any savings we had have been depleted and I don't know where to turn 😢

Can you request flexible working so you can reduce your hours to fit round childcare. Your UC. Should increase if your wage reduces. Will any of your children qualify for PIP if they have additional needs? Maybe a chat with a local Citizens advice bureau may help

Op will only get child element for the two eldest kids.

If any of the DC are entitled to DLA than that will add a disabled child element to the UC award too

Sending a big hug and suggest citizens advice bureau, and maybe contact social care re early help to see what's available locally?

Yes I only get child element for 2 of the children on UC

I don't think I will be Able to claim childcare costs back if I become a full time carer and my youngest is going through process of getting an EHCP at present , a lot to think about but thankyou❤️

Are you claiming Carer's Allowance for yourself? Since your workplace is shite and unsympathetic, would you be better off on full UC? You don't have to look for work if you're a carer.

Can you ask other parents in each child’s class? I’m sure some parents who don’t even know you would be very happy to help out in many ways

OP, I'm so sorry. Just sending you a handhold.

Have you any neighbours you could ask for help? If any of mine came to the door I have and would help out if I could.

In addition to some very good advice given by PPs

Council tax reduction is different/separate from council tax credit. With only one wage (and definitely if you give up work) you may be entitled to council tax credt too, this is claimed separately from UC.

Although you can get a motability car with PIP, you don't have to, it's personal choice. I find purchasing and running a car doesn't cost the full amount of the mobility payment, so it's more cost effective for me to keep the payment and sort out a car myself. The PIP gives free road tax in this situation.

The other thing your DH will need is a blue badge for parking. You can apply for this without PIP it's just more complicated.

Just wanted to say im so sorry! I had a stroke a year ago and still can't walk or do stuff with my right hand. My speach has suffered too.

I agree with this. Sit down with someone. Explain to them everything you've said on here. If they're human and decent, I'm sure they'll understand and empathise with the situation you're in. Be honest and explain you'd rather discuss with them directly than going down the whole sick route/Dr note debacle. Most decent Employers will try and come to some arrangement, potentially reduced hours whilst you navigate this new and stressful situation? Deep breaths, hard times come to try us, but life will get easier and more manageable once you have everything in place, just give yourself one or two tasks a day to get sorted and eventually you'll reach a place where there's a more of a manageable routine. You're just overwhelmed with all you have to sort and your head is swimming. Write a list of what will lessen the stress, and work through it one at a time. With a list you'll feel clearer headed instead of your head all mashed up with a million things 🥰

If you have sure start centres in your area they usually have outreach workers who will be able to help with benefits and link you in with local support services.

Do you have a local carer charity you could approach - guessing you do a lot of care for for you husband now.
you can have an assessment from adult social care as a carer - receive one off carer grant. They would also be able to do you a benefit check to ensure your getting everything you’re entitled too. Xx

Do you have any debt, get in touch and get reduced payments, sometimes they will offer a nominal amount for a set period or severely reduce the interest.
check for housing benefit too.
it’s a lot for you to get your head around and lots of suggestions and maybe repetition. Write a list with each suggestion you have.
what is actually wrong with the car - do you know?

Can you claim universal credit for the element of your DH not working? There is a limited means to work section that you may be able to claim. I am not fully up on the details but if you ring them you could ask his entitlement, as PIP is separate.

Aww op hand hold. Can you put out an anon post on Facebook group local to you asking for any support their are some wonderful people out there.
This is a question, if you were to be signed off with stress does this affect your plan you are on? If not I'd do this.

Thankyou for all your kind and useful replies they are much appreciated!

So if I was to stop work our UC would only increase by £400 which wouldn't be enough to cover the shortfall In rent 😢 and the council have said I'm not eligible for a DHP for spurious reasons 😢

I'm sorry you're having all this. Your employers don't sound very understanding.

Apply for Carer's Allowance and PIP (Personal independence payment). Do it now and ask if it can be back-dated.

If you receive mid or high rate care DLA for any of the children, claims carers instead of waiting for the pip decision. That way you can give up work without getting sanctioned.

I am sorry but this is 6 kids. You need to call the relevant authorities now, to be given all the needed benefits and so on

I can’t see if you get DLA for your dc? If not that’s worth applying for and you could then apply for carers allowance.

I think your dh has to have had the condition for 6 months before you can claim pip, I might be wrong but it’s worth looking into. If you can’t claim yet you can at least gather information so that when you can claim it’ll be mostly organised.

I think your best bet might be going to CAB and finding out everything you can do.