I miss my mum

[Ketryne]

Slightly pathetic post incoming. Mostly looking for a hand hold.

I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my second child (I have a DS, aged 3, who is at nursery), my DH is working at his office a 2 hour commute away and I'm feeling a bit blue. My wonderful mum died nearly 8 years ago, but today what I wish for more than anything is a nice long phone call with her, like we always used to have.

My DH and I were engaged when she died, but she obviously never knew my son, nor will she know this new baby. She never saw us buy a house and settle. My MIL is fantastic, I'm very lucky with my DH's whole family, but it's just not the same.

I see so much negativity about people's mums on these forums, so I guess I just wanted to shout out to all those whose mum was great, and they wish was still around. Anyone else here missing their mum today?

I'm so sorry to read this, how sad :(

I also have a three year old and a newborn and my mum died 5 years ago so also didn't get to meet them. She would have been the best nanny. Sending you lots of love xx

My mum died nearly 20 years ago and there are still times when I would like to have a chat with her about what is going on. She knew and loved both my DC but I would love for her to see the wonderful adults they have turned into.

I don't think you ever grow out of wanting your mum when you are upset.

Well you can have a hug from me, I get it. My mum died 4 years ago and I still want to call her for a chat every day. I just got diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and she would have been so supportive and I feel lost.

I'm sorry you have lost your mum x

Thanks everyone. Nice to know I'm not alone (although obviously would prefer no one had to feel this way).

I always feel like any time something happy happens, it's accompanied by a pang of sadness because she's not here. And sad things make me feel lonelier because I can't talk to her.

My dad is not brilliant at social normalities (pretty sure he's ND and getting worse with age) and hasn't even checked in with me in weeks.

Here’s a hand hold OP. Can totally relate to this and pregnancy hormones definitely make this worse.
Remember the wonderful times you had together, do something that you both enjoyed so you feel a bit connected.
I've got a mug that was my mum’s and one that she decorated for me - I have a cuppa in that. The special place in my heart is still there.

Handhold here, sweetheart. Nothing replaces your mum. Do you talk to her sometimes, even though she's not here now?

It's a wonderful thing to be truly mothered, cared for and loved - we get to pass that feeling on to others if we're lucky.

I sometimes imagine my mum is still there at the end of the phone and run through the conversation I would have with her and think about what she would say, sometimes it brings a bit of bittersweet solace.

Thank you. Yes I try to talk to her in my head sometimes. It gets harder as more time passes though, like the gap between the life I had when she died and the life I have now is so big that it's harder to create the conversation in my head.

Feeling a bit better now, curled up on the sofa watching a trashy hallmark Christmas movie and accepting I'm not going to achieve anything today!

My adoptive mum died when I was young. When I talk to my kids about her, I say that my mum's love comes down to them because her love for me made me able to love them more and better, because she loved me so much. So she is with them in a way, through her love for me travelling through me to them.