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I'm not happy with what my partner is doing

3 replies

BrainstormGreenNeedle · 05/11/2024 21:50

For a few years, I was witnessing some stuff from my aging mother. I am getting some what stressed and distressed with what's happening. I reckon there's something like dementia happening but I don't have it diagnosed. There is so much stuff that's just not right.

Any time I confide in my partner. He makes little if it and he makes a joke of things. He writes off my concerns making a joke. Like asking would there be space for another one in a home referring to his own mother. My mother is not in a nursing home by the way. He's always writing off my concerns with kinda like jokes.

I'm in a place where I need help and support to push for a diagnosis and I really feel like I am not being listened too and basically jokes is not what I need. It not in this way. I am open to jokes or fun but not like this.

I don't like it. I feel like he's not taking me seriously.

As for his own mother: he tells me that she's getting increasing bad with falls and memory loss and anger. I know in my heart and soul that what his mother has is dementia but he's writing off my concerns with her too saying that it's ordinary old age stuff. She's 80. I would like him to go down the path of getting a diagnosis for her. To rule alzemheirs in or out and if she had a diagnosis it would be better for him in that he would be able to understand her more and he would be able to start putting a plan in place of he needs to for the future.

I am not liking his attitude about any of this.

OP posts:
BrainstormGreenNeedle · 05/11/2024 21:56

On a different note too - how do I start on the road for help with my own mother? I chatted to her GP before but nothing happened and I feel like I am in a place where I need to go back again and get her looked at and push hard for a diagnosis. Do I look into and age related charity or society for help with this.

OP posts:
Chowtime · 05/11/2024 22:31

It sounds as though joking is his way of coping with things. Is he normally thoughtful towards you?

You can't insist he do anything for his mum you just have to leave him to deal with it.

Your own mum - I feel like I am in a place where I need to go back again and get her looked at and push hard for a diagnosis.

Yes, this would be a good starting point.

MyCatsAreFuckwits · 05/11/2024 23:04

Hi BrainstormGreenNeedle
You would need to go back to doctors (maybe see a different GP)

Really outline what is happening with your mum. Falls (very much related to dementia), memory loss, confusion, change of emotions, seeing visions, unnecessary worry (about going out, friends/family visiting, losing items, liss of mobility (again dementia related), loss of appetite, not being able to follow a TV program, understand a news article in newspaper/book, loss of bladder control.

Maybe make a note of incidents that have happened as proof.
Your mum can go to GP with you or you can go alone on her behalf.
The GP should then refer to the mind clinic. Your mum will be assessed and a while later (after this has been discussed with other professionals) a diagnosis will be given.
Treatment and drugs to help will go forward from here.

Alziemers Society are a call/email away and are very helpful with information that you will never know until you gave been on the journey. You will have other charities local to you who will help and will be invaluable with knowledge.
Adult Social Services are also helpful.

*Sorry, not able to help with your infantile partner x

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