4yo encouraging independence / responsibility?

[Kombuchamonster]

My first and only child is 4.5 years old and I'm conscious that I often don't have a clue what I'm doing with no experience of young kids and no elder child! So it's good to ask on Mumsnet! I can see it would be all too easy to fall into a rut with our daily routines etc, keeping things easy instead of building up his skills and responsibilities. For example, we are in a rut where I dress him each morning. I know he's capable but it's quicker for me to do it. I know I need to change this.

So can anyone offer some little examples of ways in which I can encourage independence at this age and build into our routines please?

Example, I recently gave him a new bath sponge and showed him how to wash his own hair using it (supervised ofc).

Things that are still happening and not sure if this is normal at this age or not:

• I still fetch all his snacks / meals. Does anyone get their child to prepare snacks or is he too young? He's a fussy eater so not sure if this could help?
• I clear up his plate - yes I think he should start doing this so how do I convince him?
• tidying up - need to be better at encouraging him to do this!

Thanks in advance 🙏

Bump

DD is nearly 4.5, I have a tiny fridge which MIL got for camping but never used, and I use it to put some snacks (ie, pot of berries, small yoghurt) and a small water bottle in it at the weekends so she can help herself (when it’s done, it’s done, she doesn’t have an infinite supply of snacks!). She also brings her plate after she’s eaten to put in the dishwasher (we didn’t have much success with clearing it first so I just ask her to pop it on the counter top), and is responsible for tidying up her stuff before bedtime (have a couple of baskets she tips her toys into), getting dressed in the morning, and I give her “chores” to do such as putting the washing into the machine & setting the cycle, or washing up some plastic bowls. I’ll straighten up her uniform after she’s got dressed but otherwise, I try not to correct what she’s done (at least, not while she’s around but the dishes often get a second round in the dishwasher after she’s in bed!). If we’re out, I encourage & support her to pay for a magazine or whatever, she takes it to the counter, beeps my card on the machine & thanks the assistant. Anything which she’s physically capable of doing, and is age-appropriate (yes to collecting the milk bottles from the doorstep, no to lighting a fire, much to her disgust), I’m happy to give her an opportunity to do it herself. Sorry, bit of an essay!

He should be able to manage getting his own snack with reason e.g. in a packet or fruit that doesn’t need preparing, not expecting him to be slicing carrots or anything but grabbing an apple or packet of pom bears he should manage. It’s an easy one though as they usually like being able to choose! My 3YO puts his dishes by the sink. I don’t want him attempting to stack the diswasher if I’n being honest so that seems like a mid ground. And we tidy up before getting something else out and they are trained well to do that themselves since that’s been the rule since they were babies, the last thing I want is my living room looking like a tornado swept through a toy shop! I don’t think those are big things… Don’t worry about hair washing, around 6 they can normally manage and independent shower. When they’re still having a supervised bath I would just do it for them.