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DS playmates

2 replies

basketolympia · 04/11/2024 13:39

Most of the boys in DS8's class play football together at playtime. DS and 3 other boys don't play football; DS and 2 of the other boys play together and are friends outside of school too. The fourth boy seems to gravitate towards the other 3 and they will play together for a few weeks (usually early in the school year), then DS will say that they have fallen out, that the fourth boy has behaved badly, they have given him enough chances and they are not friends with him now. I don't want to tell DS that he should be friends with someone who doesn't treat him well, but I had to pop into DS's school today at playtime and I saw the fourth boy standing by himself and I felt so sad for him.
It's very hard to get a coherent account of anything that happens in school from DS so it's hard to tell exactly what the dynamic is. I know there have been behaviour management issues with the other boy all through school, so he probably isn't the easiest child to get along with. But when he and DS are getting along, they seem to have quite a few interests in common.
Should I encourage DS to include him more?
I know the advice will probably be to stay out of it, I just can't help but think how I would feel if it was my son who didn't have any friends.

OP posts:
Monsteronthehill · 04/11/2024 14:01

I think you sound like a lovely person for thinking of this child but I do think getting involved is a bad idea because your son will need the space to form his friendships and decide his boundaries now and in the future. Your DS has given him chances but clearly, he is uncomfortable having him as a friend. Does he specify what he's doing? Rather than try and direct your son one way or another it might be a better idea to talk to him about the situation in general.

basketolympia · 04/11/2024 14:58

That's what I've been trying to do; you're probably right that I need to leave it up to DS.

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