My Friends Often Give Me Short Notice When Asking Me To Go Out

[KinderChocolate]

A few months ago, one of my friends texted me at 12.00 midday saying "some of us are going to a pub today at 1.00 would you like to come?" and at that time, I was just out the shower and dressed, and I would have needed to dry my hair and either straighten it or put it up and do my makeup, and there's no way I could have done all they things and got to the pub in the next hour, so I just told her I was doing something else that day.

Yesterday, the same girl who did that texted me at 11.00 in the morning saying that she and another girl we are friends with were going out for lunch at a Chinese buffet restaurant, and they were meeting at 12.00 and she asked me if I would like to come. I was still in bed at that time because I decided I wanted a long lie, so of course, I hadn't even had my shower yet, so I definitely couldn't have been ready and at the restaurant within the next hour, and again, I just told her I was doing something else that day.

I think to myself, why does she give me short notice, when she should know I need to do lots of things to get myself ready, and expect me to arrive in an hour. I can imagine boys don't know that because they don't need to do the same things, but that person who does that to me is a girl.

I'm a woman and can be ready in 10-15 minutes, a bit longer with a hair wash.

An hour is a bit short notice if you need to travel but maybe she doesn't take as long as you?

Just ask her to give you more notice, it's hardly a big deal.

Maybe she is more spontaneous than you or maybe she doesn't bother styling hair or applying makeup for the pub or a casual meal.

I take it as a sign that she is more interested in you and your company than how groomed you are and I think that is a lovely compliment to you.

I can be ready in around 15 minutes, it wouldn't bother me. I think most people expect others to be up and about at 11am so probably wouldn't consider they'd have to get ready? I've usually been up and out with the dogs or the market by that point if it's a weekend, if I've got no major plans.

Obviously we all have days where we have a lie in, but if someone invited me to do something and I wasn't ready by late morning, I'd blame myself not someone else's time keeping.

That's taking travel out of it obviously, as pp mentions. I assume the meet ups were close by? Just tell her you need more time if getting ready takes you a while, so she knows to text you the night before/10am, etc.

Maybe your friend is an early riser and has been up, showered, dressed and made up by the time she messages you?

Maybe she's one of those people who puts make up on, does her hair and wears something nice everyday even if she's not going out, so she can make spontaneous plans because she's always ready.

I am like you, if I've no plans I'll have a nice lie in then just throw on some joggers and a hoodie and not bother with hair and make up. People like your friend really annoy me!

For the pub surely they’d have been planning to stay out for a good few hours? If you’d wanted to go you could’ve asked how long they were staying and met them a bit later?

Bit harder for a meal but you also could’ve asked similar and met them afterwards if you’d wanted to.

An invite to meet at a certain time can be flexible if you want it to be.

I understand your dilemma, I sleep late, and I wash my hair separately from my bath as it takes me forever to shampoo. (bad shoulders) If I need to unexpectedly go out, I put my hair up and wash quickly, usually clean anyways as I bath before bed. Jump in shower/tub 3 min., keep your hair dry and put it up, you can shampoo later on when you are in for the night. Jump in clothes, don't worry about make up, you can do a slash dab with a bit of blush and eye liner.

Is it a last minute thing or are you an after thought? The first wouldn't bother me but the second would.

But I would say most people take less than an hour to get ready. I can be ready in 15 minutes even an event wear full make up is required I could be ready in a hour.

Last minute invites = you were never part of the plan = reject. You already have plans.

Are you all teenagers or something? Why so many girls and boys?

This sounds like a you problem. Practise getting ready quicker - who needs an hour to get out the door every time?!

I have no idea how it is possible to take an hour getting ready. Absolutely ridiculous that you 'can't' get out of the house more quickly, and there is nothing that 'girls' have to do that means they need three times as long as 'boys'.

Why did you need to be at the pub for 1pm? Why didn't you just say yes ill meet you but I'll need some time to get ready so it'll be nearer 1.30?

Im fed up of people who need loads of warning to do anything.

Teenagers or very early 20s maybe. And surely if it’s a last -minute invite it’s possible to put hair up while it’s still wet & skip makeup?

Did you actually want to go to these lunches? If so surely you could shower/dress/put your hair up/do basic make-up in 20 mins or so. Seems a shame to prioritise your appearance over your social life.

Don't you have a backup style that can be ready in 10 minutes?

It might be worth developing one. 😊

For the pub one you could have said sure but I'll probably get there about 1.30 as I'm just out of the shower.
Why does it take so long to get ready? I can be ready in 30 mins tops! But if it's
For a Chinese buffet I can be ready in 5 mins lol 😂😂

This is not a getting ready issue. Messaging you an hour before an event makes you an afterthought or someone they don’t really want to come. You might not even see the message until 40 minutes or an hour later, so in reality these "invites" are genuinely not giving you much time at all. And that’s not even taking into consideration the possibility that you might be the other side of town, have arranged something else etc...whose lifestyle allows them to drop everything and be spontaneous MOST of the time? Hardly anyone and most people know this. I do think it’s weird OP.

Ignore the people who can magically be out the door in 10 minutes OP. I also need 30-40 minutes to get ready, I have thick curtly hair so definitely couldn't just go out without touching it up.
I wouldn't want to go for a meal or drinks without a splash of makeup either and I'm late 30's so nothing to do with being young!
Just tell her that you'd love to join her next time but can she give you at least a couple of hours notice. Preferably the day before.