How are we going to cope with increasing rates of adults unable to function?

[ChefsKisser]

This is not intended to be a goady thread or critical of people who are neurodiverse or struggle with anxiety at all so please forgive me if it takes a turn or I come across as ignorant. I have a number of friends who’s children are becoming teens or entering young adult hood and also work in healthcare and interact with children and their parents a lot for work. There’s has been a massive increase in young people who just cannot cope for lots of reasons- different neurodiversity , anxiety or depression. Young people who can’t answer the phone, leave their room, attend school let along entertain a job. It’s so sad for them and incredibly stressful for their parents and no one is choosing this so it’s no one’s fault. But from a practical perspective what’s going to happen in 5/10 years when those young people would normally move out and get a job? I know it will differ for everyone obviously but the NHS and social care isn’t going to change enough to support them all any time soon. So for those threads where the children can’t leave their room to bring plates down, who can’t apply for jobs or complete exams etc will they just live at home and then one day inherit their parents money? As a wider society how can we help them become independent people and (perhaps a selfish perspective) contribute to society so they are not just a cost forever on their parents and the state?

No answers but wanted to bump your thread to encourage others to provide them! I've previously missed on the same subject.

Well give them the treatment and diagnosis they need would be a start. Insanely long diagnosis lists and zero support or MH treatment anywhere are creating a crisis.

My take isn’t about people who are at the very acute end of their conditions, it’s about how they get there. I used to work with young people. I retired early before covid and there was a change then though I understand it’s become a lot worse.

I am not anti the internet but I do blame it for the rise. It means people do not have to go outside. MN has a very high percentage of people who admit to social anxiety, anxiety, MH issues, introversion and being ND. It’s a perfect example of people having interaction on here without having to actually be face to face with someone. Now no one wants to go back to the old days of forcing children and people to do stuff they are petrified of. But at a lower level it means those small interactions have been cut down completely as we move to online shopping, banking and socialising. There have been posts about how people will not even talk on the phone anymore and prefer messaging. It’s not the same is it and the art of conversation is lost.

It also means people do not connect with the outside physical world enough. I have been laid up with an issue with my spine, I couldn’t walk properly for almost three weeks. I was absolutely withering on the vine by week 3 and felt really down. I get it, some people are genuine introverts, again I’m not writing about them. It’s about regular young people who live online and covid meant whole swathes of people were cut off from much human contact for ages.

The Internet also means people can find each other, sometimes good and sometimes bad. People also seem less willing to accept they are just people and insignificant. They see an online influencer and want to be noticed like them. When they realise that actually life is not like that they become depressed about it. People needed genuine talent to be noticed when I was young now there are plenty of ways of being noticed online on platforms like tik Tok, it’s very accessible. A few do get noticed it’s a bit flash in the pan but it’s a chance so they want it.

So the internet has encouraged both the shy and introverted and also the very outgoing and for both it may have very negative consequences.

The apparent difficulty in coping with day to day life doesn’t have to be concomitant with neuro diversity or a diagnosis of it.

There have been threads more and more regarding young people’s lack of independence and face to face communication.

Of course it’s positive that people who are ND are able to be diagnosed, although it’s a tortuous process often, but there are so many young people whose interactions are through a screen and who don’t appear to have the resilience to deal with short term anxiety and short term problems.

There are so many posts on local FB pages from parents asking for part time jobs for their children. Maybe the children aren’t on FB, but employers are surely going to prefer contact from the person seeking a job, rather than the parent.

It doesn't mean they will "never" be able to do those things. It just takes a bit longer sometimes and that's ok. It will be harder for them to do that though if they're just "written off" at 18 as you appear to be doing.

Some people just need support for a bit longer and bullying them into doing things they aren't ready for just sets them back. Yes to a degree we all need to challenge ourselves but likewise if you don't have life "sorted" by 21, it's not the end of the world. Retirement age is 67 and rising, still plenty of time left for those kids!

I'm 55 and still don't like making phone calls! I have to work myself up to it. I'm one of those MN introverts. But I hold down a professional role and am self sufficient. How I live my life in my spare time is no else's business.

I've seen young people in my family who have had their struggles but they all worked it out in the end, with patience and support.

Im not writing them off or advocating bullying t them at all. What I’m asking is how we can support and to an extent change the way we interact perhaps with young children to raise them a way that allows them to catch a bus independently and take on a part time job without it causing immense stress.
Ive noticed with new nurses a lot of them require huge amounts more support and input than in the past. Which is fine but we don’t have the time and capacity to provide this in the amount they need- in the past some more nervous nurses would need more support which we would give but the length and extent of ‘support’ is beyond what is feasible. It just worries me that the proportion of coping adults to those struggling is getting really out of whack.

You might find this article interesting OP

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/nov/04/the-big-idea-is-convenience-making-our-lives-more-difficult

@Ginmonkeyagain really interesting. I wonder whether there will be a big pushback with young kids new away from tech, instant gratification culture, smart phones etc. I can see how it could cause that- I was a teen in the late 90's so only really got social media as an adult and I do worry how I would have coped

I think part of the problem is that children/teenagers aren't encouraged out of their comfort zone so they don't get to build their confidence. Some parents think that because their children don't want to do something they shouldn't be forced to do it.

Avoidance is not the answer for anxiety.

@2dogsandabudgie I agree. I try to 'gentle parent' but my kids know some things are non-negotiable (manners, school, swimming lessons etc.) I know that doesnt work for lots of ND but I think for NT children who are bought up with everything 'child led' and negotiated with them reality of having to do what you're told and get on with it can be a bit of a punch to the face and they struggle to manage.