How do I avoid colleague?

[doodlediddle]

She’s extremely socially unaware and can say really hurtful things and very personal comments about appearances. She will check my diary and see when I’m free to go for lunch for lunch with her so it’s very difficult to find a reason to say no (even if I say I’m doing this she’ll insist she comes with me).

I once told her “no I’m swamped doing this” and 10 minutes later she said “are you ready then?”. It’s bizarre because I don’t think she particularly likes my company as she genuinely doesn’t listen to a word I say. Sometimes I’ll be half way through a sentence and she’ll interrupt with something completely unrelated.

Can't you just put something in your diary at lunch to look busy?

I would be quite blunt. Say you’ve got a headache and want some piece and quiet, or say you’ve got some private phone calls to make or some personal emails to catch up on.

Repeat "no, I'm busy". Keep your head down and don't make eye-contact. Don't reply to her, just make "mmm" noises if she keeps on going after you have told her you are busy.

Sounds like teenage girl sort of thing, which unfortunately does exist in the work place. Be honest and say you want to do your own thing.

You need to be firm and clear with this type of person (but not necessarily truthful if a lie is easier).

"I'm finding work overwhelming at the moment so I'll be spending lunchtime alone from now on to get a bit of headspace".

"My therapist said I need more alone time so I won't be able to have lunch with you anymore".

"I've joined a book club and will need to spend all my lunchtimes reading from now on, so no more lunches together unfortunately".

"My voice coach says I need to rest my vocal chords for at least an hour a day so I'll have to have lunch alone from now on".

I've got 1 of them. She's leaving in the next few months. I cannot wait. I'm not even polite to her anymore. My life is too short and precious and she's making herself look like a prick.

For gods sake…

want to go to lunch? - no thanks I’m just going to have some time on my own. If she follows you pop headphones in and listen to death metal/audiobook/podcasts etc until she gets the message.

rude appearance comment -
do you realise that comes across as very rude?

I don’t need/want personal comments thank you.
going forward Id like to keep our conversations/comments to work matters. Etc.

rude comment… response as above…

you aren’t her friend. You are there to work. Stop worrying about her feelings when the same effort isn’t returned.

Just be to the point without being rude. Practice some responses that are short and to the point. Just keep repeating them.

who did she use to bother before you became her go to person? Or is she new and you’ve been there longer.