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AIBU??

10 replies

fedup2471 · 03/11/2024 12:45

Try keep this short & sweet... playing on my mind...

I'm due to have baby in 8 weeks.
Me and partner still have our own houses as we are/was in the process of sorting out both to get one together.

2 months ago my parents bought a really high speck mattress. It didn't fit their bed so they very kindly offered to GIVE it to me.
My partner hates the mattress and refuses to sleep with me overnight because he doesn't like the mattress? am I being sensitive to think he's selfish? I'm always on my own as he finishes work late and goes home to his own house to eat & sleep. I feel so lonely & neglected.
I've told him how I feel and he says
"Sorry for working so hard" he has no empathy.

He has provided really well for the baby he isn't tight financially but with love he is. I feel if he really loved me nothing would stop him being with me near to birth??

He lives 10 miles away. I could stay at his but I have a son from previous relationship who needs to be up for school etc and settled so it makes sense for him to stay here.

I feel right on the back burner. Feel like I'm drifting away from him. I don't get kisses and cuddles at night and his arms round me. Normal stuff.

On the weekend last week he took me out for dinner. I made myself look nice really made the effort as much as you can at 32 weeks preg...
he picked me up and within 10 mins I was crying all my make up all over my face because I said I'm having a funny turn I've got sick and hot can u have the car window down and he lost his temper because he said he was cold. Again, no empathy for how I felt.

He's really hurting me x

OP posts:
username7891 · 03/11/2024 12:48

He doesn't want to be in the relationship, the mattress is an excuse.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 03/11/2024 12:50

He’s not into you.

Cut your loses and move on.

SunshineAndFizz · 03/11/2024 12:52

That's actually just cruel. A pregnant lady is feeling ill and he won't put the window down. This tells you everything you need to know.

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cheapskatemum · 03/11/2024 13:00

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Do not buy a house with this man and consider yourself fortunate that he has shown you his true colours before baby is born and you're living together. It's good that he's not tight financially as that appears to be how he might best support you & baby moving forward. Do keep us posted, you will be on my mind Flowers

Stormyweatheroutthere · 03/11/2024 13:03

How much notice has he taken of the mattress? Turn it over. Tell him you have a new mattress. He will imo find another excuse not to sleep over...
Claim cms when your baby arrives and accept you will be doing this alone.

fedup2471 · 03/11/2024 13:10

Thanks everyone. I totally agree. He's not into me anymore. Hard pill to swallow when you're pregnant and gained weight and all that stuff. It's made me so insecure xx

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 03/11/2024 13:12

Do not move in with this man it will only get worse . Could you manage as a single mum ?

SleepyRedPanda · 03/11/2024 13:13

I agree that he’s not into you. This isn’t a relationship anymore and, hard as it is, be grateful you know now so can end it before moving in and changing your mattress.

fedup2471 · 03/11/2024 13:17

I'll be ok being a single mum I'm strong. X

OP posts:
MsEm · 31/05/2025 14:11

Oh wow...how did you get on in the end? I've literally just seen this thread, and can see its around 6 months ago- what happened in the end? And how are you doing?x

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