Where is my diet going wrong and keeping me obese?

[BoobsGalore]

I am mid 50s. Weigh 94 kg.
Always been curvy, have lipedema (heavy diet -resistant legs) on HRT.
Spent years on low fat artificial sweetener type diets, now for the last 5 years eat less UPF, no low fat anything. Try to be reasonably low carb.

I am doing intermittent fasting (16/8) since early Aug and have lost 4.5 kg but it's painfully slow.
Tried mounjaro back in Spring but had to come off it after it triggered terrible panic attacks.

I am photographing my meals for my intermittent fasting app. Here is yesterday's food - spinach omelette for brunch and a bean and courgette stew for dinner. I had 2 slices of home made bread, a handful of mixed nuts, and an apple as well as what is pictured. Will add a couple of other days as well. Is it the carbs?

I have noticed I don't drink enough - about 1.5 litres a day of tea, coffee, diet coke (1 can a day, I think it's an addiction) and squash or water. Would that make a huge difference?

If you’re only walking the dog for exercise, all this diet effort is pretty pointless.

Start doing some home workouts or get an exercise bike to raise your heart rate, build strength and kickstart your metabolism.

Weight loss is 90% diet. You're wrong.

This is perfectly put. I’d add that things like a handful of mixed nuts may seem small but can be hundreds of calories so tracking is important, but if you are happy op then that’s good, but absolutely, it would help to know what you would like from the thread.

I think I am confident in my portion of curry, yes.
I think sometimes my other portions are out, like half a quiche, that wasn't necessary.

My 8 stone 5ft 5 daughter had a similar amount of curry (I measured the chicken cubes out) quadruple the amount of rice that I did, and a pudding (cherry Bakewell). I think I want to be able to eat like other people. I genuinely don't go round eating plates and plates of chips or multiple bars of chocolate. While in my mid 50s I wouldn't expect to be 8 stone why not 12 stone? How did I get to 15 1/2 stone?

I think I have gone a bit Bridget Jones and I don't know if I am low carbing or calorie tracking or what. I do think I get muddled and I am so worried about doing something unsustainable and falling off the wagon that I probably allow myself too much leeway. I hoped that intermittent fasting would lead to natural weight loss by natural calorie suppression I suppose - which it sort of has I suppose?

All I know for sure is that I am eating real food and not ever doing low fat or artificial sweetness again. I guess I need to decide if I am low carbing or calorie tracking.

In my experience if you go really low carb you will at least double the rate you are losing weight, it’s really hard for the first two weeks but then it gets much easier. You’ll then get to your 12ish stone goal.
I think from your photos you are eating like other people or at least like non obese women.

I can’t explain this but my experience is that drinking Diet Coke makes me put on weight. I’d try cutting that out and see if it makes a difference.

But the OP still has to do the 10% exercise. At the moment she’s doing very little indeed.

BoobsGalore you're right it is working. You are losing weight. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of healthy eating.

Going full on calorie restriction or low carb will just give you a wagon to fall off.

Think about the tweaks you need to make to make this sustainable. As the weather gets colder you might want less salad and more warm veg.
Get ideas for sacks that work for you.
Keep an eye on portions, that's quite possible what got you where you are.

You don't need to lose weight quickly, you need to lose is sustainably and permanently. This is the internet, there's a lot of obsessives around.

My plan:
I am going to decide if I am low carb or low cal. The app goes for calories I think, but I have found low carb easier to sustain in the past.

I will try to keep a closer eye on those after work pre dinner snacks (had none at all today, but I had a big lunch out with friends) and make them fall in line - either low carb or low cal

I will begin to cut down my diet coke habit

I will drink more during the day to get to at least 2l a day

I will try to incorporate more movement.

I might keep tracking my meals on here for a while just to keep myself accountable too.

Yep, this! I think there have been studies that show that your body reacts to artificial sweeteners in the same way as real sugar, so you get the insulin response but there is nothing for your body to process - something along those lines. I think Chris van Tulleken discusses it in his book on UPF.

Are you able to consider strength/weight training. This can have many health benefits including supporting weight loss (or fat loss).

But also, like others have said, 4.5kg is a great start. It will feel slow, but stick with it and imagine how another 6-12 months of progress will feel.

You're losing weight (albeit at a slow rate) so you are already in a small calorie deficit. You're also allowing yourself some treat food, which I think is a good thing as it helps to avoid a cycle of restricting and bingeing. I think you either need to make peace with this or you need to start measuring what you're eating and tracking your fat, protein and carbohydrate intake. For me it does not matter whether someone else would be ravenously hungry or feeling like a stuffed sausage after eating the food in your photos, these people aren't you.

There is a fabulous bariatric surgeon and consultant who runs a series of seminars and presentation, they are available on youttube and he also has a facebook group, he runs a clinic in the US. He does excellent presentations on how this occurs. He is a lone voice (or seems it) in america about UPFs, sugar, upping fruit and veg, he calls it Pound of Cure, really easy to understand.

The food looks lovely :) What about doing some simple swaps:
-instead of diet coke/fizzy drinks, have just water (or maybe mint tea, or water with a lemon wedge in it).
-instead of rice or pasta, what about trying courgetti or cauliflower rice.

The AI thing looks cool - my brother and I were talking about something like this for myfitnesspal (which we both use) earlier on today. Are you able to weigh out what you're eating and log it, to work out exact calories and macros? I'm doing that at the moment to monitor what is good in my diet and what needs tweaking, as I need to lose weight/drop fat%. Some of the things I've logged have surprised me, so I'm being quite watchful with what I eat (and how much). I rarely drink alcohol (once or twice a year) or fizzy drinks (even the diet ones), and I only drink black coffee (no sugar or sweetener) so that does help. I like water or herbal teas. Luckily, I don't have a sweet tooth!! I think there's an online calculator that gives you the amount of water you should drink in a day (varies according to weight etc). That might be work a look?

I would increase step count each day if you are able to. Maybe do a daily brisk 30min walk (or two 15min walks)? FWIW, I'm 5ft 4, and was just over 75kg (and 36% fat) last month (put on a lot of weight over past 5yrs - ties in with menopause - I used to be between 55 and 60kg). So I'm going back to basics with calorie intake/activity levels, increasing water intake, making sure I have a calorie deficit etc. I'm down to 74 kg now. I can do 15-20k steps a day when I'm at work (nurse), but markedly less on my days off (which I am also sorting!).

Its not, its a reasonable dinner, personally I would have either the wrap or the rice but not both

However as someone has kindly worked out, you are in a fairly consistent calorie deficit juding by your weight loss so just carry on, nothing really needs to change

People are talking about spoon measures because some people, like me, have a big ol' metal 'tablespoon' thats a big as bucket, but this is not a 'tablespoon' in terms of measuring. It doesnt matter at the moment but thats why people are questioninng it.

As you lose more and more your calorie requirements will change so you might then need to reduce the volume.

Fucking hell there's some TERRIBLE advice on this thread! Bet you wish you'd never bothered posting @BoobsGalore

All the pp moaning about your portion size are full of shit. You need to bulk out your meals with a lot more vegetables/salad so you feel fuller for longer and don't reach for biscuits or other snacks. Swap the white rice for brown, swap regular pasta for lentil or pea pasta, eat wholemeal seeded bread.

Sprinkle ground flax seeds and chia seeds over or in at least one meal a day for extra fibre (they don't taste of anything).

Drink LOADS more water and ditch the fizzy pop.

Start strength training. It will help so much more than any cardio.

I recommend having a look at Rebel Fit on social media. He cuts through all the 'diet' bullshit and focuses on proven, evidence-based health advice specifically for women.

Essentially, swap the diet (deprivation and tiredness), mindset for a health (fuelling and increased strength), one.

Bollocks to counting calories/macros/whatever for the rest of eternity. That's never going to be sustainable long term

Apple cider vinegar diluted in water with honey & lemon twice a day - really helped me kickstart weight loss, helps regulate blood sugar and curbs cravings. I’d seen people raving about acv gummies on tiktok and did a little googling. People were saying the gummies were a fad but real apple cider vinegar worked. I do 15ml apple cider vinegar, 300ml water, 15g honey and 2 capfuls of lemon juice, once in the morning before breakfast and once in the evening before dinner. I still get acne (mostly hormonal) and I found it helped clear that up too. Might be worth a try? Sounds like you’re doing well with the loss you’ve achieved so far, don’t be discouraged! It’s a marathon not a sprint. Good luck x

It's probably good to track calories to get a feel for what you get for the calories. Tortilla wraps are about 180 calories each so pretty high.

I wouldn't overthink it. If you fancy toast with your scrambled egg, have a slice of something seedy or whole grain but maybe have tomatoes and spinach with it. As you eat less bready things you'll want them less but don't deny yourself completely because that will probably be unsustainable for you.

You've been eating low fat and sweeteners for years so it's probably going to a while to reset.

You can low carb on a fairly low calorie intake, probably what you're doing now to be honest given you are in deficit
I eat low carb but my carbs are around 70-100g a day, a lot of people would think thats very high but its within the NHS definition of low carb. That includes milk, fruit, porridge and small amounts of rice as I cant eat bread or pasta and rarely eat potatoes now, also small amounts, of chocolate and the odd biscuit you dont have to strip your entire life away.

diet coke like all artificial sweeteners can spike your insulin as much as sugar can. Bread too, whether brown or white may as well be sugar once you have eaten it. I too struggle with weight, currently on 1000 cals a day and slowly loosing weight. I think one the things worth trying is a continuous glucose monitor to see what spikes your insulin response. From what I can gather they can be quite expensive and/or tie you with expensive subscriptions.

Hey OP, I think you're portions look fine and I have lost weight on those sort of meals and I have a lower BMI than you.

Here's my tips. #1 Watch the snacks - I've noticed alot of I "think" I had 2 biscuits, plus a couple of slices of cheesecake (which is bloody lethal) a day for 2 days, plus a weekend away is doing a bit of unravelling of the good stuff you're doing.

Take a pic of everything that goes in your gob, not just the good stuff, be honest. If you intend to eat a biscuit take a picture of it, if taking pics keeps you accountable.

Tip 2. Weigh everything, so a heaped tablespoon of cooked rice is meaningless. You need to weigh the dry rice as it's more accurate, or if you need to do a family portion, weight the dry rice first (say you intend to have 20g dry and the 2x family members have 80g dry each then weigh it cooked after and give yourself the equivilent portion so 1/9th) same for the chutney, weigh it. (I used to eat peanut butter on toast and log it as 1tsp, when I actually weighed the bloody stuff turned out I was eating 3tsps!)

Tip #3 just move, get your 10k steps a day if you can. Pedometers are dead cheap. Obviously better if you can do some strength exercises even if its just using your body as a weight, with squats, press ups, burpees, sit ups etc, but if you just move around more it will help give your metabolism a kick up the arse.

Tip#4 drink your 2l of water a day, it is really easy to mistake thirst cues for hunger cues, so eliminate that risk by staying hydrated.

Tip#5 basically similar to Tip 1, just log everything. Stolen a chip of your partners plate, log it. Sneaky biscuit whilst making a cuppa, log it. Extra dollop of mayo on your salad - log it. Your mates poured you a wine... well you get the drift.

Also invest in digital kitchen scales so you can weigh absolutley everything.

Having said that 4.5kg is really good work so you're doing something right. Dropping the lot off quickly at once usually doesn't work anyway and people who have massive losses usually just end up yoyoing as it's too bloody hard work and unsustainable. Consider it a lifestyle change not a diet and set a realistic goal of months rather than weeks, with little mini goals. :)

Good luck OP.

I agree with @bestestbrownies. You are doing great concentrating on low UPFs and eating real food. Your portions look good, definitely not too big as your current loss shows. 4.5kg since August is brilliant. It's a pound per week. It might seem small but go pick up a pound of anything and you can see that you and your body have been working hard. Slow and steady means sustainable. Please feel good about that!!

I also agree that removing artificial sweeteners is likely to be a game changer for you. Ditch the diet coke. If you really really want the flavour, it's better to get a bottle of real coke and pour out a (very) small serve. Likewise diet tonic. Don't do it. Have one G&T instead of 3 and have real tonic. Think of it as a biscuit or a slice of cake. It's a treat food buy it's better than artificial sweetener that stuffs up your insulin response.

And: seeds. Eat all the seeds. They are small and mighty. Add them to your rice, porridge, yogurt etc. Consider also more fermented foods (kefir, kimchi etc).

Finally: stretch. Lots. Gently. Move all your joints gently in all the directions they go. Start small and slow. Get your blood and lymphatic system moving. Bodies like flow.

You've got this and you are doing great!!

@BoobsGalore buckwheat, full fat cottage cheese and kefir (plain kefir from the polish section, not the sugary fruit flavoured ones) Find some buckwheat recipes, you can use it plain (cook with stock for more flavour) or cooked with vegetables or meat. Buckwheat regulates blood sugar and great for keeping off weight - if you can eat it 3/4 times a week in different ways then you will see results. Kefir is good for your gut and digestion as are pickles and fermented veg like carrots or cabbage (I know not everyone is a fan) and the cottage cheese is filling and helps with protein intake. Try and find a dark rye bread from an Eastern European shop, it’s the only bread I really eat/can stomach. If you fancy a sweet weekend breakfast look for cottage cheese pancake recipes - use the dry polish curd. If you like fizzy drinks try natural mineral waters like Borjomi or Escentuky which are high in minerals and still fizzy. Good on you for tackling your weight, these portion nazis have it in for you today. Slow and steady wins the race and keeps the weight off.

OP what did you have for your lunch out today?

Ditch anything containing artificial sweetener. Are you calorie counting as a lot of those meals look like you are eating too much. Those Crosta and Mollica wraps are circa 300kcals each and you've got two plus toppings, so you could easily be eating 1000 calories in one meal, especially with mayo involved.
Eating no ultra processed food is great, but you can still be eating too much and looking at those portions, I would say that's your problem.

Mozzarella salad and aubergine parmesan with rocket salad. Plus a gin and slimline.