I feel utterly ridiculous typing this but I don't know where to turn or what to do. I have no one else to talk to.
Two years ago I found my biological father on Facebook and what followed was just a complete nightmare . I suffer with bi polar and I genuinely don't think I've been OK since. I drink to the point where I black out and I feel like I've completely checked out when it comes to my children, all I do is sleep.
My husband is unhappy and I feel like he is falling out of love with me. I get no emotional support. I went out last night and again have no memory of how I got home. I'm nearly 40 and I know this isn't ok or excusable but I am so sad all the time. I am a PhD student but I have completely stopped working and instead just go out with old school friends to drink and act like I'm a teenager. It's ridiculous.
I'm just so sick of myself and don't know what to do. My life is completely falling apart.