Friends son won’t fall asleep, any tips?

[Bustedbus]

So a close friend of mine is currently going through a nasty break up of her long term relationship. I’ve obviously said I’m here to help her through it and if there’s any way I can help then please let me know and I’ll be there.

We both have 6 year old children and this morning she’d messaged to ask if there’s anyway I could have her son to stay as his dad was supposed to be having him but let her down last moment and she had plans. Obviously wanting to help out I said that was fine, and so I sit here writing this asking for help as I have been trying since 6:30pm as that is what time she normally puts him to bed and he is yet to fall asleep, he does have (undiagnosed) ADHD but it’s clear to see that he has it, so obviously no blame goes on him what so ever it’s just he is keeping my two children awake and I am also on my own as my partner has decided to run to his mums instead of helping as he stayed in with our children whilst I had a rare night off last night and due to taxi issues I didn’t get in till 4am (was trying since 1am!) then the kids have had me up since 6:30am, and also been to a kids birthday party today so to say I am knackered is an understatement! And partner said it was his turn for a night off.
I know it’s only been 2 and a half hours but I just want to go to sleep 😩 tried ringing/texting his mum to speak to him and she hasn’t answered, have made him up a new bed on the mattress on the floor as he said the bed was to creaky but that hasn’t worked, given him lots of teddies to cuddle and a big cuddle from me..is it a case of really just having to wait it out? I feel like that’s the obvious answer and this post is more about giving me something to focus on before I cry 😂

Bed at 6.30pm ? Gosh, that’s early!

My autistic son generally doesn't go to sleep before 11.30, so I'm little help.

Sometimes things that would suit neurotypical children are the worst for my son & conversely he often needs an intense bounce on the trampoline, deep pressure or similar before bed.

I know everyone will say this is the worst thing - but maybe something on the ipad? That used to work for my son & might at least give you some peace x

glass of milk

You're got no chance if he's got ADHD. Are your children now down and asleep?

TBH it's quite unfair asking you to even do this. Mine isn't even naturally tired til about 11pm and that's on a good night.

Put on White noise on youtube or put a fan on. That's your best bet.

If mine really really can’t sleep, I let him come downstairs and watch the TV for a bit. Something fairly slow paced. Then try again after half an hour. I think his mind sometimes gets stuck in a racing, can’t sleep, cycle, and a bit of TV switches him out of it.

My daughter normally goes to bed between 7:30/8 but as her dad had been watching her the night before he’d let her stay up as long as she liked so she was extremely tired today so thought seeing as my friends little boy normally went to bed earlier then I’d try all of them for that time - my two have fallen asleep now but still not my friends son! I think she puts him to bed early because he’s always an early riser no matter what time she puts him to bed (wakes up around 5am she said, so help needed for the morning too!!)

I'd be inclined to let him settle with you in front of the television and watch something gentle.

You might be in for a long night, so I'd get comfy too!

If he's neuro diverse, the change in routine might be unsettling for him.

Good luck

I'd probably let him watch a film or read or play Lego quietly if possible. My DS is 6 and would be anxious about sleeping in a new place without me, no way would he go to bed at 6.30.

I feel like this a little bit unfair of your DH too tbh, to just up and leave. It feels a bit like a punishment because you went out last night.

Y is he going to bed so early don’t u like him?

Stop putting pressure on yourself to get him to sleep and focus on just keeping him safe, warm and alive - a duvet and cuddles in front of the telly, maybe a warm bath first?

She’s trying to keep to the routine of a neurodiverse child who’s going through a difficult time. Don’t be horrible.

I think your friend told you a porky about bed time 🤣 stick him in front of the TV and lie down on the couch with him.

Either put him to bed say goodnight turn off the light and leave him to it. Or let him stay up until he's falling asleep and then put him to bed. Strange house without his mum or dad (and problems at home) not surprising he won't settle.

Just give him something to watch and wind down with.. it's still early, my 6 year old has another 2 hours in him at least 🤦‍♀️

6.30! Was she pulling your leg.
I can’t believe your partner has gone out- do they usually treat you like that?

Id just let him listen to some quiet music or if needed watch a 15 min programme then try again

Thank you for your suggestions everyone, got him downstairs watching planet earth with a cup of warm milk with me so hopefully this helps. Still has ants in his pants but just trying to keep it calm!

He’s a bit of a stress head, can’t handle stressful situations etc - but yeah I say stress head when the right word would probably be a bit rude 😆

Good luck! It's good of you to help your friend out 💖 Really hope you get some rest.

She's kidding on about the 6.30pm bedtime. My kids have autism and adhd and it's easily 10/11/midnight before they're asleep.

Try playing gamer music or a bedtime meditation on YouTube and see if he nods off to that.

Thud.

Many kids I know with ADHD are medicated for sleep. Otherwise they don’t sleep until about midnight.

Id probably stick him in bed with an iPad and leave him to fall asleep whenever he likes and take myself off to bed

My child has adhd and goes to sleep about 9/10pm most nights. I expect she told you 6.30pm, knowing that it would take about 4 hours until he actually fell asleep! Hopefully he will relax and drift off soon.

Just because you had a late night last night shouldn’t mean he gets to go off to his mums when you’ve got an extra child and on two hours sleep. Id make him get up with them in the morning!

I have a son with ADHD and no way has he ever gone to bed that early.
Definitely do not give him an iPad but take him downstairs, put something calm on the telly, let him snuggle up and wait until he starts to show signs of tiredness ( my son acts a bit wired and hyper when he's tired).
Maybe put some calming music on and do some relaxation exercises with him.
My son is a teenager now and sleep has always been difficult. Now he listens to loud rock/rap/pop music to go to sleep.
As he is in an unfamiliar place, he might find it hard to relax so you may be in for a long night.
Your friend should answer her phone if you have her son. If you plan to look after him again, talk to her about this.