Anxious about hygiene and kids

[Ethny]

I recently gave birth to a beautiful DD2. And my health anxiety is as high as ever. It doesn’t help that during the last two weeks we are treating nits and worms at the same time (DD1 is in primary school). It’s worth admitting I had health anxiety after giving birth to DD1 too which passed after a couple of months.
Will we eventually get infected with every school disease? Molluscus? Scabies? How prevalent are they? Will it be better in a smaller town or in a smaller school?
My DD1 lives on a floor. She plays, dances, does gymnastics on a floor. She washes her hands after toilet and before meals but sometimes she holds toilet seat with her hands while sitting on a loo to keep balance and not fall. I guess it’s all normal but it elevates risks. I can’t control her every minute neither can we always wash her hands before every snack when we are out (antibacterial wipes won’t kill everything) so do I need to accept it?

You have my sympathy wrt the nits and worms - that's enough to cause a lot of anxiety.

But I think you need to go and talk to your GP about the catastrophising (the worries about catching everything going, how infectious everything is, DD and surfaces she touches, the ideas about smaller schools, the country, etc..).

If this is a recurring issue after pregnancy and childbirth, you need medical care.

Don't let anxiety get in the way of enjoying your children's childhood.

You know, you might get more bugs into the house this time around but...that's how it works. That's how immune systems are built.

And it'll feel crap and exhausting when they both get sick, but you'll all be fine, and every winter it gets better as they get immunity to more things.

Yes, you need to accept there are germs everywhere . Wash hands before eating and after the loo. Germs are important to build up a good immune system. Nits are annoying but keep her heir plaited with a squirt of hair spray. Nothing you can do about worms apart from treat them. It's just life.

I completely agree about flu like diseases. I’m mainly worried about parasites. You can’t build immunity to them.

Yeah ok, but parasites are also just part of life. If you get scabies or whatever...genuinely, so what? You get treated, it goes away.

That’s the 4th time she gets nits in 1.5 years. She is the only one in her class with her hair always plaited or in a ponytail.
Worms mainly bother me because I have a newborn who can’t be treated.
Im not sure the school is diligent about handwashing tbh. And it makes me think if everyone who has kids gets infected with those and worse diseases (I’m not talking about chickenpox and flu but about different parasites)

Yes, you just need to accept it, What else can you do? If you can’t get your anxieties under control then absolutely contact your HV and get some help with your mental health as it does sound like you are spiralling. Not every kid in school gets parasites.

Will we eventually get infected with every school disease?
yes, most probably. Children pick things up off each other. Scabies less likely than a cold ir stomach bug though. And more so if you bring them up in a sterile bubble, sluicing them down with sanitizer and wipes all the time. Let them be children and chill out!

I blame myself for being absolutely ignorant about worms. I missed the early signs as I thought occasional itchiness is a consequence of poor hygiene. She was bothered by it maybe once in a few weeks, never waked up more than once per night and always managed to go back to sleep after shower and sudocream. And I never saw worms on her. So I’m thinking if I’m being ignorant about anything else.
I wish the school gave a workshop about children’s diseases, how to spot and treat them instead of multiple phonics workshops…

Schools aren't there to provide healthcare advice. They're literally there to teach phonics...

Then health visitors can cover I guess. At least provide a leaflet or something.

My sons went to a 3 form inner city primary, it doesn't get much bigger in terms of primary school. They didn't get nits or noro virus and both have finished primary.

I'd this health anxiety is normal for you post partum, let it ride out. It won't last long. But if it's becoming more of a problem, get help, don't let it get out of control.

I was convinced I was going to die after my second baby and leave dc1 motherless and dh with a tiny baby (obviously also motherless). And it was after this baby that my ocd went off the charts. I did eventually get help with it, but too late and I can look back now and see how my life was dominated by the obsessiveness and the complusions. And I regret that. But, I am so much better now! As are the lives of the people around me, because I didn't really realise it at the time, but it had a huge (negative) impact on those around me. It was when I realised this that I got the help I needed. Don't wait that long op.

Congratulations on your new baby. Having a baby in the modern era is the safest it's probably ever been. Try and remember that.

My ds never got worms and he's an adult now and he got nits once and his hair was only and inch all over! I've never known anyone have scabies,that was never on my radar.

We changed 2 schools with my DD. Both schools are outstanding with active parents committee. In each school we received letters about nits and threadworms. I grew up in a less nurturing environment and I never had threadworms (well before this year) and had nits only once.

Yes, it was the same with my DD1. I barely remember anything before she turned 3 months. Eventually it faded off. My DD is rarely sick now and we encouraged her being outside a lot in different weather conditions, play dates, sport clubs. Maybe it faded off too much and I became too comfortable and compliant…

@ethny the internet exists! We don't need parasite leaflets. This is all your anxiety talking.

3? That's a long time to feel like that. Do get some help with this. If it's anything like what I went through these thoughts are stealing your time and your life. And they really, really don't have to.

That you know of! Lots of people get worms and have no symptoms, and their bodies mount an immune response. Some people don't have the right immune response, and catch them more often, and they are difficult to get rid of.

Read my post again, I said I've never known anyone get scabies not worms. Worms and nits are very common whatever childcare setting , it's just not a given that you'll get them .

**His cousin's had worms all the time. I'd have just marched him up to the pharmacist had he got them and asked what to do. Same with nits if I hadn't known . All this is your anxiety OP, sounds like you need some help.

Specifically re newborn and nits or worms.

Worms rely on kids scratching their bottoms to complete life cycle. Your newborn can't do this. So worms wouldn't last long. A bit of Vaseline round the anus stops them causing itching. Maybe baby poo would flush them out/not provide the right food for them anyway.

Nits - most newborns have barely any hair. You could sort with conditioner and comb if baby did have them. Again, don't worry.

Childhood illness is a vital thing for building immunity, even if it's a pain in the arse. We're not meant to live in sterile environments.

I’m not worried about nits at all. It could be treated in 15 mins.
With worms I’m concerned about constant reinfection from school. I can’t treat everyone with ovex every 2 weeks.

But kids don't constantly have them,again,this is your anxiety. If they get them you treat them with appropriate medicine. Don't borrow trouble until it happens, IF it happens at all.

I contacted the school to inform them. Guess what they did? Nothing.. No letters, kids are not reminded to wash hands before snack time, anything.

Perhaps that should tell you something then OP.