Loneliness

[user1485851222]

Moved to a new town 2 years ago, with DH, we didn't know anyone. Both now retired early 60's, DH happy to sit in house, & content with life. I need more, as you age it's harder to make friends. DC lives hundreds of miles away, didn't live close before we moved. I've tried getting employment as a way to make friends, this hasn't worked out. I'm bored and lonely. Volunteering isn't an option. Don't know what I think mumsnet can do, but.....

OP- not saying this to be snarky but you've had issues with WI, aqua aerobics, work, and U3. Do you think it's the way you are socialising? I just mean, are you making the effort to chat with people or are you just assuming people are cliquey when all they are doing is chatting to people they just know well and then backing right off? as a PP said, true friendships do take time to form and thats quite normal

Aqua, tried it for a few months, tried conversations, but it was always just hellos, byes. U3 I haven't tried, as I thought it would be similar to the WI, who in my area are very twinset and pearls, nothing wrong with that, but not my cup of tea. I agree friendships take yrs to form.

So sorry you are finding it hard to establish yourself.

It's partly interesting to me because when DH and go on holiday to different parts of the country (we are mid 50s), we sometimes think a place we're visiting could be a nice place to retire.

But I always hesitate for exactly the reasons you have described here. And I think of my close friends I have known since my now almost independent DS were young. And I think, even though the landscapes are quite boring where we live, I'd rather live close to my friends and travel to places with attractive scenery.

Like you, it takes time for me to find people I really connect with. When I do, they can become really good friends. But I can't imagine making new friends at a WI.

I'm your age and a member of u3a. I go to meetings in jeans and trainers, never owned a twinset or pearls, and I've made several lovely friends. Yes, it is mostly people older than me, but I don't mind that. Give it a go, there's lots of activities to choose from.

Is there a local town chat group you could join by signing upto Facebook? If you don't already have FB, you can join just to become a members of groups, that's what my elderly uncle has done. You should find various groups, such as walking/sewing or whatever your interests. I did a random cushion making class last year in my little town and it was a lovely bunch of ladies, we actually had a really good laugh! It's how friendships are formed. There's a Sunday morning walk in a village local to me. Mostly over 50s, it's 2 miles then they all go to the local pub for coffees etc anyone can go. It's a great way to meet and form friendships, but you'll have to put yourself out there.

The other option is to start a group yourself! Put it on FB in your local area. Maybe a shortish walk and pub lunch, or just a pub lunch if health doesn't allow much walking. Maybe once a week say on a Sunday. You could make it ladies only meet and chat type of group and if you prefer/over 50s? You'd be surprised how many are in your situation for all sorts of different reasons anti social other half, divorced, Widowed, Single etc.