How old to leave overnight?

[hopeishere]

At what age did you let your kids stay alone overnight in the house? DS is 16 and DS2 is 14 but has SN.

Its not as simple as age...
How trustworthy are they? What back up? Are they likely to invite people for a party?

16yos should be fine. 14yos are borderline (especially if they have additional needs)

16yo should be fine.

A lot depends on the 14yo special needs though.

If, for example, he has uncontrolled epilepsy, does the 16yo know what to do?

Exactly what pp said its not about age but maturity level. Also do you have friends/relative close by for emergencies or a decent neighbour as that makes a difference

Good points. 16 year old is fairly sensible. Would definitely not have a party. 14 year old has learning diffs but is very chilled. I think it will be up to the 16 year old to decide if he feels ready!

I thought this was one that was actually a legal limit on, and I thought that was 16?

In the UK there is no legal age to leave a child home alone overnight, but it is illegal to leave a child home alone if it places them at risk of harm.

No actual law. Plus the 16yo would be technically old enough to babysit the 14yo.

At that age, I'd definitely let them.

My twins have been home alone since about 9 and never for hugely long periods but they are sensible and because they were together, I never felt worried.

DS, with his sisters since he was about 9 but alone probably not till 10 because he matured later.

Then I still don't let DD9 stay alone and not until she is in her teens to be honest because she can get quite scared and overwhelmed and I am not sure how it work would out. She can stay with her siblings though.

DD6, I'll see how it goes but she can stay with her 15 year old sisters every once in a while but we never really find a situation where we have to.

It just depends on their personality and maturity and how you feel. It's whatever you are comfortable with of course but past about 12, I definitely wouldn't even hesitate leaving my child alone for a bit

Mine are DD15, DS13 and DD12.

The 15yo is very sensible, not likely to party so much as play dungeons and dragons and watch 1980s horror films.

12yo is sensible. But can be a bit of an argumentative madam if she wants.

13yo is still at an age where he will rage quit if he loses a game and is overly sensitive.

I'm happy leaving them during the day when I work, or up until 11pm ish of an evening but not yet ready to leave them overnight. DH and I just had a weekend away & got my mum to watch them overnight. But we're thinking about next year, maybe giving it a go. Maybe starting with some later nights to see how it goes.

Both my DC are very different in whether they could be left home alone.

DD is now 18, and off to uni next year, so of course she's fine. But DH & I both jokingly said she's been trustworthy from around the age of 3 (although we would never have left her on her own, and didn't until she was in her early teens).

However DS is ND and still, at nearly 16, doesn't want to be left alone overnight. He's OK with a few hours during the daytime though.

Everyone's different, and it's down to the parents to make that judgement.

It really depends on kids.

If they are prone to fights/falling out no way would I leave them.

I left my dds at 16 and 14 and they were fine but a lot of their dads family live in our village and I was 45 min away

Damn it - thanks both who pointed out the legalities. Now I'm cross with myself as eldest dd is 16 next week and I have never done it as thought I wasn't allowed. Damn! Too late now.

One of the classic grey areas where the governement quite rightly wont put an age on it. 16 is way too young in my eyes.

My friends and I were left overnight from 16 and some of my friends had younger siblings. This was in the 90s. Without fail everyone had parties and the next day was spent trying to hide/disguise/wash out fag burns and drink stains.
I know too much, so it would be a no from me.

DS was 16 but pretty sensible. His Dad, Nan and Cousin were all on standby and our neighbours were keeping an eye out. I didn't relax the whole night lol. I got used to it eventually and we were all happy as he didn't want to come to any of the places we wanted to go to.

16 yo yes
14 yo only if they are entirely comfortable and have a good relationship with their sibling

if both are happy and you can come back in an emergency id say fine

We had this recently with my 3 DSes - 15 (nearly 16), 13 & 10. 13 year old has SEN including epilepsy which is not fully under control & has seizures/absences most days. 15 & 10 are both very sensible.

Was a family over 18s party & ILs were away so couldn't have made it a weekend at grandparents like usual. In the end, they all stayed with our friends, who have DDs of similar ages & we know very well. Also, DFriend is a nurse so not phased by seizures. DS1 was not keen on the idea, but we didn't see the point in leaving him at home & his brothers going to friends. He enjoyed it though.

Next week, I will be going out in the village till 10.30 ish & happy to leave them then, as I could be home within 5/10 minutes. For some reason, I feel best coming back when DS1 is still up.

There's no law.

Why are you cross?

No legal limit.

My friends and I used to laugh about this when our DC were younger teens, as many of them would have left older teens (15 plus) as long as not only child, I would have left mine when eldest was 15 (other two 13 and 11) and one would never leave hers, no matter the age as "they would kill each other". It entirely depends on the child. In my house, my DH and I are the ones most likely to get legless, as my 3 are vastly sensible, barely drink and don't do drugs.

Same. I would definitely have had "gatherings"!

16 year old definitely, 16 year olds ought to be able to take care of themselves so overnight should be fine, plenty of 16 year olds live entirely on their own where I am.
14 year old depends, do they get on? Will the older one be 'in charge' and feel comfortable with that or both take responsibility for themselves and happy with that?

Depends on so many factors. Maturity of children, whether they have friends who might invite themselves round, whether they can be trusted generally, how they both feel about it, how far away you'll be, whether there is someone close by in an emergency.

My parents left me in charge of my younger siblings frequently for the evening once I was about 13. There were no actual problems but I used to get anxious when they were late back - before mobiles and they didn't always leave a contact number. I kind of resent it looking back that they thought it was only about trust.

@NoCarbsForMe
Cross because I have turned down several weekends away this year even though dd is 15 and perfectly capable, because I thought she had to be 16 to leave overnight.

Only have one and he was 16.