Is it normal to feel this tired all the time parenting two young kids?

[Waffle19]

I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and it seems like no matter how much sleep I get, I’m constantly exhausted!

Is this normal? Does it get better?

My 1yo has been an absolutely terrible sleeper and has only just started sleeping better (though still wakes regularly) but I thought now he’s sleeping better I’d feel less tired.

For context both kids up around 6.15am every day (5.15 since the clock change) and I tend to go to bed around 9.30, tonight is a late one for me. Work four days a week in a fairly high powered job. Have a partner, he does do a fair amount round the house but still majority of the mental load is on me.

I am overweight and wonder if it’s that or the young kids causing my tiredness, problem is I don’t have the energy to start eating better or exercising more (I walk a lot and play a sport once a week, try to do some form of strength work out at least once a week but often don’t have enough energy!)

Just can never decide if this is just part and parcel of raising young kids!

Yes … not sure when it stops! 🤣

I could have written this. My kids are 4.5 and 2 and I'm constantly shattered to the point I'm slightly worried. We don't have any help. The 4 year old goes to school but the 2 year old is home with us all the time ( 28th on the waitlist for part time daycare 🙄) we don't live near family ( they wouldn't help us anyway) I don't know if maybe I'm just burnt out or if there's a bigger problem 😭 also over weight and trying to loose. Not any advice sorry but your not alone !

All sounds very normal for having small children while also working.
But…. Might be worth getting your thyroid and iron checked to be sure there isn’t anything medical contributing.
And might be worth having a month of really clean eating (avoiding high sugar ‘pick me ups’, aiming for low GI foods, no alcohol etc etc) to see how much better you do or don’t feel.
Good luck.
It does get easier, but not for a while yet.

It's absolutely exhausting op, I even started my own thread on this exact thing a few days ago!

I don't think being overweight is always a factor. I'm very much into health and fitness and my bmi is 18.7 - I'm still shattered every evening. It's hard. My kids are 2 and 6.

Toddler wakes up lots in the evening / night and son wakes at 6 so very much attacked from all angles.

I am happy don't get me wrong but sometimes I get overwhelmed and exhausted

@Aussierose2 That sounds super tough! Work is my break from my kids to be honest, I think I’d struggle even more if one of them was around all the time. I worry about burn out too but I don’t really know what to do around that, my partner and me take it in turns as much as possible with the kids but still doesn’t seem to help much.

Same here and I only have one DS. Although work full time. Exhausted all the time. And everything feels like a chore. Even such a small thing like sending out birthday invites...

Be careful making the assumption this is normal. I did for ages, turns out I'm very anaemic, b12 deficient and my thyroid function is iffy.
Go to the doctor and get a blood test, can't hurt to rule things out. I only went when my hair started falling out, don't let it get to that stage.

Get yourself checked just in case, but yeah it's probably normal tbh.

You're probably on years of bad sleep, I found it took a good year of sleep to feel in any way rested. I'm still tired but not in the bone aching way I was when they were smaller.

@BananaPalm You’re so right about everything feeling like a chore!

@bakewellbride Glad it’s not just me though sorry you’re suffering too! It’s relentless isn’t it.

@Bobbie12345 You’re 100% right that I should try eating better… my eldest was up at 4.15am yesterday and I couldn’t resist a pastry for breakfast after the nursery run to give me a sugar boost but I know sugar is not going to help anything really in the short or long term. Ironically never had a sweet tooth before kids!!

I have had thyroid tests fairly regularly as my mum has an under active thyroid so it’s always tested if I’ve had to have blood tests for whatever reasons.

I guess naively I just thought that once my youngest stopped waking every hour and once I stopped breastfeeding I’d be full of beans but it’s far from that!

yes, mine are 14 and 18, same but different challenges

You're defining "waking regularly" as "sleeping better". Imagine what your childfree self would've made of your current sleep schedule. And it's on the back of years of pregnancy, breastfeeding and even worse sleep. And it's not like your days are in any way relaxing with a 1yo.

You're exhausted, and depleted. It won't be a quick fix, but you're on the up swing now. It will get better.

Same here, I just figured the exhaustion was normal but when I started dropping weight out of nowhere I went to the GP and found I have overactive thyroid. Definitely worth getting checked out

I overheard a young person complaining that they'd been woken up at 7:30am - as if that's some mega early time, they just sounded so aggrieved by it! I just wanted to shake them. On that particular day my son woke at 5:40am!

My 1 3/4 boy now usually sleeps through. He woke up 2-3 x a night when he was 1. So a good night sleep might be here soon!

Being exhausted with young kids is normal. But this: no matter how much sleep I get, I’m constantly exhausted is not.

You say you’re overweight, do you snore? I unexpectedly ended up with a sleep apnea diagnosis when I went to the GP with precisely the issue that no matter how much sleep I got I was exhausted! Being overweight is a major risk factor for it (no judgement, I am too!).

Id go to the GP, be clear that although you have young kids, you find that sleeping more does not make you feel better, and see what they think worth considering.

Mine are 6 and 2, I work full time, and I feel miles better now than I felt 12 months ago.

Mine is 6, just me and him. I'm constantly exhausted.

You can get an iron test from Boots or Tesco - it’s worth testing your iron levels too!

You need to go to bed earlier

@coxesorangepippin I honestly don’t think I do, some week day evenings I’m in bed before 9 and still tired the next day!

@LetsChaseTrees No I don’t snore so don’t think it’s that, I say no matter how much sleep I get but really I mean no matter how much sleep the kids let me get. I’m sure if I was not getting woken up in the night and at 5am then I’d feel better, I just mean that some nights my youngest sleeps through and I am asleep by 9.30/10 but still feel shattered by the end of the next day.

I think you're body becomes so used to sleep deprivation that when it suddenly gets more sleep you can feel worse (I know I do on the odd occasion one of the kids goes for a longer stretch of sleep - single mum to twins since they were 1) - and then it takes a while for your body to adjust

I do think poor diet doesn't help though and I'm guilty of this too - I'm going to try better in the new year (let's be honest Xmas is coming so healthy eating is difficult!£m) with vitamins etc

Mine are 17, 14, 9 and 7. Still shattered constantly.

When I felt that exhausted I had low iron (plus a toddler!). The tablets really helped. To be honest it could be a combination of things: disturbed sleep, not enough nutrition in your diet, poor iron intake/absorption. I wouldn’t say it’s normal but for a lot of people it seems to be, and not everyone can be suffering with thyroid or iron issues! A health MOT would be worth a shot, all kinds of vitamin deficiencies can contribute to tiredness (a friend started taking zinc for mental fatigue, for example) but obviously speak to a doctor before self-prescribing a load of supplements. But to answer your question, no, I don’t think it’s normal and shouldn’t be accepted as such. You don’t want to sleepwalk your way through these years and you shouldn’t have to (or women in general!).