What's the most batshit...

[LittleRedRidingHoody]

On the back of the thread about executives not washing their mugs...

What is the craziest thing a superior has asked you to do at work? And did you do it?

I'll go first:

First retail job as a teen, got pulled aside by Store Manager and told HR were on-site to investigate bullying claims against him, and coached with what to say when they interviewed me 😂 He was definitely a bully, but I went along with it and hyped him up because I didn't want to lose my job!

Recently (last job, senior role) CFO - my boss - called en route to the office with the CEO, who was flying home that evening. CEO had asked CFO specifically to get him some Heinz ketchup to bring back with him, and he'd forgotten. Didn't trust the new EA to get it right 😂 Ended up ordering on Just Eat and expensing, most overpriced and insane purchase of my life. Tbh I didn't challenge because we had a good relationship, but it still seemed WILD.

18 years old and office junior role. I was called in to see the manager and asked why I leave every day at 5.15pm. I replied because that was my finish time. I was then told that “yes, but most people stay and work a bit later because they really care about the business”. I told him that I was on an office junior wage (it was about £3 something back then) and that perhaps once I was on higher pay or a salary, I might feel differently. That did not go down well!
I actually got sacked from that job in the end because I refused to take on more work and work later for no extra pay. They told me I should have felt ‘privileged’ for the opportunity.
A few years later the company were all over the press for the poor way that staff were treated and some of their dodgy dealings. Lucky escape!

When I just left university I worked in a temp role at a bank in the insurance department. I was just admin but others in the department had a different role - can’t remember what.

one of my jobs was to stuff quotes into envelopes.

one day this girl who was so stuck up and bitchy for really no reason had ONE quote that she had printed off. So she walked the whole length of the office to put it on my desk so I could put it into an envelope. It was ridiculous.

I got a really good job shortly afterwards and was very happy to leave that place.

I used to work as PA to a very high end jewellery store owner.

Due to the times of the bus at the park and ride car park I was always in the office early. One morning I pushed up the roller shutter 5 minutes before my starting time to find him pacing up and down the floor furious as he wanted to dictate a letter and get out of the office before 9.

No amount of explaining that I didn't start till 9 placated him because "you are always here just after half eight"

I recently through my line of work came across an ex-colleague who was 17 when I knew him. He disclosed that he quit that job when the then manager asked him to go and collect some drugs for him… . (And I don’t mean those prescribed by a gp).

This is vile 🤢 ~ that being said, I've always thought if I get sick of the corporate world I'll start a company that comes round and changes the bins! Going rate in London seems to be about £20 per bin per trip, or in the case of our guy £140 a month for less than 10 mins on site!

Got sent to Harrods to collect D,ecleor toiletries my boss had ordered and paid for on the phone, I actually enjoyed it, a look round the Harrods cosmetics counters.

Ooh I just remembered another one when I was 17 and working in a pub as a glass
collector the man who played the piano - so maybe not technically a senior but he had been there for years - asked me to rub myself up and down against him.

I was outraged and said no and he actually came and apologised the next day!

I was once asked to proofread a series of long PowerPoint presentations that were in Mandarin.

I mean, sure....

During Covid, DHs bosses boss couldn't get to grips with the video conferencing software. So needed someone in online meetings to do the tech side. But it had to be someone with high enough security clearance.

So DH, the most junior person with the right clearance had to attend these meetings to just click "next" at the appropriate point. He was both bemused and frustrated!

I was handed a Sotheby’s catalogue and asked to pick out a piece of jewellery for his wife. It was their 25th wedding anniversary.

Different boss

Clients were flying in for a presentation on a piece of work I’d done. A couple of days earlier I’d been rushed to hospital (from the office) had emergency surgery and was asked if there was any way I could still join the meeting. I discharged myself early and went straight to office.

Was sent to the tube lost property office in London to look for a plain black umbrella...it got me out of the office for an hour, so I didn't care how ludicrous it was.

Had to manually reprogramme every telephone number in my boss's mobile phone when London numbers changed.

Psycho boss made an error in a product that had already gone to print. Instead of paying (cheap and very reasonable cost) for the printer to either reprint the brochures or remove and replace the middle page spread, she insisted I go to the printer with a staple unpicker and unpick every fucking brochure by hand. The printer was aghast and felt so bad for me that he took me for a very expensive lunch afterwards.

Dissect the phone handset after it had been used in a sexual way in the boardroom. I kid you not. 1994.

Many years ago boss came into my office one morning scratching his genital area. I jokingly said 'have you got crabs?' He was amazed that I knew (?) and then asked me to go out and get him some crab cream which I did. 😃

My old boss, who was actually a retired & reasonably well known retired footballer had me sniffing his comb over as he wondered if he’d sprayed polish on it instead of hair spray!🤣

So many 'ewww's 😂🫠

Carry a load of bedding (as in 50+ duvets) that had been urinated on by god knows what in a warehouse (where it had been left unpackaged) through a building to a laundry. Then once the big boss heard what was going on was asked to carry it all back to the van so it could be taken directly to the tip.

I refused the return journey.

I was not employed as housekeeping, laundry or any other position that might have made the job a reasonable request. Nor were we provided with any PPE.

Haha no it was 25 years ago

My friend who was cleaning houses asked me to do one of her jobs for her when she was away. A young man was in the flat when I went to clean. He asked me to put some cream on his bare back as he had sunburn. I was quite young so just complied with minimum touching using only the tips of my fingers and no eye contact. I'm pretty sure he was hoping for something much more.

Not sure my friend believed me when I told her - apparently he was living with his girlfriend at the time and they both lovely and decent.

YTS (cos im reallly old)- live in "commis chef" at a\ horrific pink hotel..except....lucky if had 7 meals put out entire 7 weeks i was there-AND they tried to feed the staff pot noodles .Having previously had "proper live in job" nd wage... was never going to be ok getting under £30 a week-really-but was off season and alternative woulda meant i go home... the outwith kitchen "duties" were ridiculous. eg.
@tolerable "take these cocktail sticks-start in bedroom one and go scrape the scum line tween the shower stand and plug hole"
(Aye ok???thank heavens for hash n tvs in bedrooms)
it was NOT happening... i volunteered to work the bar-in evenings...for a proper hourly rate.(Overtime.) We fought cos they "discovered "i was bloody good front of house. I refused to do the shift during yts agreed hours.
One sat a.m was called to pink managers office and asked why i took a booking for 28 rugby fans. i hadnt.
i never answered the phone.it was a 40room hotel,three weeks away booking- (apart from scummy plugholes woulda thought a godsend? they were full melt down mode. employed 3 extra staff(hilarious)
a sturday a.m i got "go and light the fire in the bar" no please.... i wandered in lit a cigarette n discovered a ashfilled hearth...back to boss- sorry-nobodys laid the fire?
he erupted said i was utterly stupid and disrespectful.
i was 17 (and never hesitant to equal full arsehole mode)i stormed into kitchen and pushed the full metal container thing of crockery to floor n phoned my dad to come get me.

I was a live-in carer for an elderly lady, and her son-in-law demanded that I cook his dinner every evening.
He said that as I was cooking my own, I might as well cook his, too.

He lived next door to his MIL in a sort of hut, which didn't have a kitchen. His wife had died a few years previously.

He used to come back from work, pop in and eat the dinner I'd cooked, then retire to his hut for the night.

Oh well. He paid the food bills..........

i used to work for a company director who was scary to everyone but I eventually really liked. In my first day or so he asked me to go into town and pick up something. I said yes and he threw me his car keys and said it was the green car round the side and to use his fuel.

Walked outside to be confronted with the most gorgeous vintage Jag! He then let me drive his cars often. He had the Jag, a little red Porsche and a Golf GTI. He was a fab boss too but everyone seemed terrified of him.

With hindsight it probably looked like we were having an affair 😂

I had to go and collect my boss's mum's toilet seat frame thing. I resisted a cheeky gurning session

A fancy dress day - had to untangle boss’s charm bracelet from her fishnet tights right in her crotch. I questioned my life choices at that point.

My manager wanted a 2-sided A4 information sheet to be adapted to go on the back of a postcard. I checked umpteen times that she really wanted two pages of A4 on the back of a postcard. I asked did she mean for the content to be adapted to fit including only the salient points but no, she wanted all of it. So I obliged. Font size 2. Of course she then complained it was far too small and what she actually wanted was for information to be greatly reduced and the salient points only.

I wasn’t there for much longer!

My boss asked me to trim his nails on his right hand because he couldn’t hold the scissors with his left hand 😂🤮

I had to throw my lunch in the bin afterwards.