I'm not good enough

[Shithole101]

I don't want to go to deep. I just want to say it loud ,well write it and then shake lt off.

But i feel like im not good enough. I have learning difficulties, I feel like im not intelligent in anyway. Physically I feel ugly. I feel like im very much below most people. I don't like myself. I feel like everyone else has life set out and things in place if something was to go wrong. Its like others have answers that are fool proove . Then there's me slap dashing through life.

Trying to say I don't want therapy type comments put obviously I can't stop them and I don't want to come across as rude.

Anyway I just wanted to say it out loud. I will shake it off. Hopefully I may have a kid free weekend . And try and do some things that are positive.

Well you write very well for someone with learning difficulties.

“I feel like everyone else has life set out and things in place if something was to go wrong.”
Most people really don’t, Op, they really, really don’t.
Some people are protected when life throws a curve-ball by supportive family, friends or have money available to help them through, but many, many do not and you only have to read a few threads on here to know that.
You asked not to be advised that therapy might help your thinking and self confidence issues, so I won’t do that, you maybe concentrating on your own good points (and I’m sure you’ve got many) instead of comparing yourself with others, whose lives you really don’t know the details of, would help you feel better about yourself.

It feels the opposite on mn to be honest. I read many threads. That say just do this just do that. Or I have put in place xyz just incase.

Saying things like that is actually not helpful OP. And it certainly won't make you feel any better. Have you heard of self fulfilling prophecies? We become what we think we are. So it would be much better to accept yourself as you are and say I am okay ! I am good enough! This should be your goal today. You are good enough . Believe it.

Yeah I know that logically
That's why I said about shaking it off. Which I will . I was just thinking deeply and probably over thinking .

I recognise you OP
This is one of those low times

Think of all the positives you have achieved and don't let this low period drag you down
Child free weekend ? Spilt it into some time for you.. bath , face mask , chill
Then tackle a room as you do so well when coping
Get the rubbish out , get the washing pile down
That's enough for now 💐
What did you decide about the feature wall in the kitchen in the end ?

I won't let it drag me down
I sort of though if i say it I will let it go.

And yeah the kids are at Disney dads . I definitely need to get on top of washing. Gey a bath wash my hair. Dd bought mr bath bombs last Xmas and I still have not used them. I will probably do house stuff tonight/tomorrow. And do the bath this tomorrow evening.

I have decided against any decorating etc until after Xmas so that was a wasted thread.

You are not below anyone. We all have the same value as human beings - which is infinite. When you really believe we are all possessed of an inherent human dignity, which can never be demeaned, you can't be demeaned yourself either.

One thing it can help to remember is that everyone in this life is a lost and frightened child who just wants to be loved, including you (and me!). Extending this compassion, radically, to others can help you find compassion for yourself. This might sound mad but I can tell you it really helped me. I hope it can help you.

x

Not a wasted thread OP at all
You got some ideas and we all remembered the fab job you did in the bedrooms .. I couldn't do any of that !
Please be kind to yourself this weekend
If I knew you I'd order us a Chinese and a shit film to watch with haribos , revels and a chocolate orange 😂😂😂

Personally, I think we all feel like this from time to time. I very much do sometimes. I was diagnosed with adhd this year (at 56) and the monumental cock ups I’ve managed to make would make anyone feel a crap. I’m also a terrible housekeeper which often makes me feel like crap (how can you not be useless when you can’t even manage the simple task of keeping a home tidy?)

BUT, we’re not useless, often we just need to rest and the feelings will dissipate. Feel shit for a little while, take some virtual hugs and reread what @GreatNorthBun wrote. ❤️❤️

I don't even know what demeaned means 😭 not to be mean /horrible? 🤷‍♀️.

It doesn't feel like people are scared and lost . ( not that i want them to be) just feels like others seem to have a fool proof answer to life.

I really hate the words why don't you just ... or I would not allow .... make them step up... it sort of comes across like its so simple but in reality it's not that easy and I feel like many others don't get that. Then I start thinking if things are that simple for others then they must be strong people in control of their life's.

Thank you . I haven't watched a film at home in years . 😅

Demeaned means to be made to feel less than others.

There's a good saying I heard on here once: don't compare your insides to other people's outsides. It just means we always think other people are doing better than we are, because we have a lot more information about our own feelings than anyone else's.

Thank you. Yeah I think its normal to . I think that's why I said i will shake it off. I hope your nanshing your adhd as best you can. Must have been a shock in a way . I hope your OK.

That makes sense thank you 💐

I don't think it's objectively accurate as a description of you but I hear and understand that this is how you are actually feeling. I hope you can let it go now you've said it and it's been heard. ❤️

MN is full a poster telling people “you just need” or “simply say xyz” or “why would you put up with that” and lots of “LTB”. In reality it’s never ever that simple most of the time!

There are times in here that I think the posters shouting this the loudest are the ones that aren’t “just doing” anything!

I’m faking my way through it most days. There’s a big difference between having all the answers and pretending you do!

I will definitely let it go. If I allowed that feeling to continue it would be a total fuck up . So yeah i will definitely let it go .

Thank you for getting it. It was hard to explain 😅

From what you have described you sound pretty normal to me! I mean, aren’t we all conditioned to feel “ugly” in comparison to social media filter standards, aren’t we all “not good enough” when late stage capitalism performance bar just keeps going up. That’s us, normal people.

And???

I don't think they meant anything by it. . At least I don't think

@Shithole101 I may have misinterpreted the intention. I thought they were questioning if you were telling the truth.

Possibly they were. I semi thought the same. But then I thought surely people don't just think learning difficulties are just about writing 🤔

Giving them the benefit of the doubt I think they were trying to be nice but it may have have come off a little bit like “I wouldn’t expect someone with a learning disability to be able to write well”

A bit ignorant and patronising maybe but I don’t think they were trying to be unpleasant.