Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Sabrina Carpenter - too sexy?

207 replies

pinotgrigeeeeo · 01/11/2024 11:44

I'm late 30s, not really target audience for Sabrina Carpenter and was unaware of her existence until a few weeks ago, however for some reason my social media algorithm is bombarding me with her.

Anyway, I now know two of her songs and they are VERY catchy. Great pop songs.

She is undeniably beautiful.

However. Does anybody else feel a bit uncomfortable / surprised with the overt sexuality that she exudes?

And I don't know how else to put it without sounding like a prude. Because I'm really not a prude.

She dresses in lingerie a lot of the time. And at the end of one song I believe she says "do you know this position?" and each time she performs it she then enacts a different sexual position on stage.

The lyrics to some of her songs are very dirty. (Just heard one that's about a partner getting back with his ex and she sings that "now you'll have to taste me when he's kissing you").

This is nothing new to me. Genuinely not a prude.

So I'm not sure why I feel uncomfortable with her. It's possibly because she looks very young and I got them impression her music was targeted at young girls, similar to Taylor Swift.

She's not really doing anything that Madonna didn't....yet it just feels different.

I also feel Madonna was pushing boundaries. Those boundaries have no been pushed, and what SC is doing isn't new. So why do I find it noteworthy? I don't really know.

I can't put my finger on it.

Something about it seems quite dated to me. Females like Debbie Harry, Shirley Manson etc just seem a lot more fresh to me. They were sexy, but there was more to them. More to the music. Their sexuality wasn't so "in your face".

I don't have a problem with SC just doing pop music, as I've said, I actually like two of the songs.

I just can't put my finger on why the overt sexuality is bothering me. I think it must be because of who I perceive the target audience to be.

I've seen people comparing her to Dolly Parton, and whilst nobody has elaborated, I guess I can see the similarities in curvy, blonde, petite, confident. But there is something....dare I say it.....seedy about SC that Dolly just doesn't have.

Anyway, just musing. Wondering if anybody else feels similar or if I am just a miserable old bag these days.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
birdiesings · 02/03/2025 22:04

Presenting yourself as gagging for it 24/7 does fuck-all for women's rights, and women who promote this backwards shit (especially to children) should be shunned.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 03/03/2025 07:48

birdiesings · 02/03/2025 22:04

Presenting yourself as gagging for it 24/7 does fuck-all for women's rights, and women who promote this backwards shit (especially to children) should be shunned.

What’s the need for all the open crotch stuff, especially the dancers? If they were dancing with a male star, I think it would be seen as some sort of abuse.

ChristmasPudd1990 · 03/03/2025 08:07

I like her songs. I'm early 50 so remember Madonna,Prince, Frankie goes to Hollywood etc. I'm a bit Meh. It's all been done before so nothing shocks me anymore. I'm just surprised we seem to be going backwards again....

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Music
SallyWD · 03/03/2025 08:11

DreadPirateRobots · 01/11/2024 11:49

I got them impression her music was targeted at young girls, similar to Taylor Swift.

Have you actually ever listened to Swift's music? Why do you think it's targeted to young girls?

Swift is in her midthirties and her music reflects it. She swears. She sings about dysfunctional relationships and being with drug users and a complex relationship with her own self-image. Her music hasn't been "targeted at young girls" for at least fifteen years. Carpenter's music is also for an adult audience.

She may not be targeting young girls, but she certainly appeals to them. I know lots of girls aged 7 to 15 who are massive Swifties.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 03/03/2025 08:12

ChristmasPudd1990 · 03/03/2025 08:07

I like her songs. I'm early 50 so remember Madonna,Prince, Frankie goes to Hollywood etc. I'm a bit Meh. It's all been done before so nothing shocks me anymore. I'm just surprised we seem to be going backwards again....

Edited

Similar age. Remember Madonna rolling around in her bridal look at the MTV awards 40 years ago which I think changed how young women presented on stage.
Frankie being banned. Loved them even more.
I suppose each generation does there thing to shock the generation before.
Madonna had a strength and a power about her. I don’t see that as much now.

Timeandemotion · 03/03/2025 08:16

I don't understand why basically performing a sex show is now passed off as a music act.

Timeandemotion · 03/03/2025 09:08

And now lo and behold a film about a sex worker has won 5 awards at the Oscars

I'm just getting heartly sick of women JUST being portrayed as sex workers and prostitutes in film and in the music industry. I know this isn't a new thing but now it seems to be the only way they are portrayed. Sex is their only value.

Original poster
pinotgrigeeeeo · 03/03/2025 14:26

Lionsdenoffools · 10/11/2024 13:46

Maybe it’s just your age ? You would have been a lot younger when Xtina and miley were having their overly sexy look at me phase, now you’re old enough to be the mother of an 18/19 year old. Just a thought.

Just coming back to this as see it has had more replies.

No, I don't think that's quite it.

Christina was very much my era, it wasn't my genre of music but I didn't dislike her. Even when she was being very raunchy I didn't think much of it then and still don't. She was dressing and dancing in a sexy way and that's just what pop stars do.

Miley was very much after my time. I remember some of the outrage at her twerking on stage and again, it didn't bother me.

Neither of them made me feel the way Sabrina Carpenter does. I know people keep saying she's an adult woman making music for other adults, not kids, but it really doesn't feel that way to me.

I find the "outros" that she does, and the Juno mimicking sexual positions particularly uncomfortable and I hate hearing little girls sing the songs.

People say she can't help being short and having small breasts. Indeed she can't, but she really plays up to it in my opinion, making herself look as childlike / doll-like as possible, while gyrating on stage simulating sex.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinotgrigeeeeo · 03/03/2025 14:27

sunshine237 · 02/03/2025 06:01

Thank you for this thread OP, yes there is definitely something jarring about your 9 year old coming home singing things like 'she'll just have to taste you when he's kissing you' etc 😳 It hasn't come from home, so it's not our parenting issue.

Her whole tour is described as having a sleepover vibe. It embraces having fun together, dressing up and doing makeovers

This and touring with Taylor Swift, but she's not targeting tweens, riiiiiigghhht.

'Talking about being 'wrecked' or feeling it in her kidney has the same vibe as when you de-brief with your friends after a night out, or text the girls group chat after sleeping with a new guy for the first time'

This is so grim I don't know where to start...

Yes, this is what I feel uncomfortable with.

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 03/03/2025 14:56

I'd never seen Sabrina Carpeneter before I watched her performance on the Brits the other night.
Watching, I thought the main influence on her was simply mainstream porn. The continuous spreading of her legs as widely as possible, and also bending right over so you could see the whole of her bum apart from a thong was nothing if not aimed directly at the male gaze. It felt intensely sexual. And I don't even wholly object to porn.
I thought it was sad that female artists feel obliged to perform like this today, and, as I've said before I think we will see partial nudity (breasts fully shown) in performances before long, if they are not already, then full nudity and spread legs. But only from women, of course.
It's unfair as well as sad that women and girls feel they have to do this. I think it will be a very long time indeed before we see mainstream male performers getting their dicks out. (Ewen McGregor excepted.)

MaidOfAle · 03/03/2025 15:03

SiobhanSharpe · 03/03/2025 14:56

I'd never seen Sabrina Carpeneter before I watched her performance on the Brits the other night.
Watching, I thought the main influence on her was simply mainstream porn. The continuous spreading of her legs as widely as possible, and also bending right over so you could see the whole of her bum apart from a thong was nothing if not aimed directly at the male gaze. It felt intensely sexual. And I don't even wholly object to porn.
I thought it was sad that female artists feel obliged to perform like this today, and, as I've said before I think we will see partial nudity (breasts fully shown) in performances before long, if they are not already, then full nudity and spread legs. But only from women, of course.
It's unfair as well as sad that women and girls feel they have to do this. I think it will be a very long time indeed before we see mainstream male performers getting their dicks out. (Ewen McGregor excepted.)

Men go topless on stage all the time and no one says "that's sexual". Why are women's upper torsos viewed differently in the West? Many indigenous women's clothing leaves the breasts bared and it is uncontroversial in the society that it comes from.

You all have short memories if you cannot remember the budgie smuggling spandex leotards worn by Freddie Mercury and other rock musicians in the 80s. David Bowie's costume in Labyrinth wasn't exactly subtle in its showcasing of his meat and two veg.

There's a double standard here.

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 03/03/2025 15:13

Please Please Please and Slim Pickins are not songs for the male gaze. I really like her and some of the 'she's got a wide face' type comments are really unnecessary

SallyWD · 03/03/2025 15:34

MaidOfAle · 03/03/2025 15:03

Men go topless on stage all the time and no one says "that's sexual". Why are women's upper torsos viewed differently in the West? Many indigenous women's clothing leaves the breasts bared and it is uncontroversial in the society that it comes from.

You all have short memories if you cannot remember the budgie smuggling spandex leotards worn by Freddie Mercury and other rock musicians in the 80s. David Bowie's costume in Labyrinth wasn't exactly subtle in its showcasing of his meat and two veg.

There's a double standard here.

Show quote history

To be honest, I very rarely see men topless on stage. If they are, they'll most likely be showing off a toned and muscular physique, and it would definitely be done in a sexual way.
Female singers are far more sexualised in terms of clothes and dancing than male singers.

SiobhanSharpe · 03/03/2025 15:46

@MaidOfAle there is still a big difference between naked male chests which you can see all the time at swimming pools, beaches and occasionally on the street.
But for naked female breasts it is obviously the European, north American and Asian cultural norm to cover up, on the whole. Unlike some African regions where women traditionally do not cover their breasts.
In some European countries women go topless on beaches and here too sometimes, but rarely at swimming pools or on the street. In fact most hotel and public pools have signage about appropriate swimwear.

Meanwhile many ordinary men may well be uncomfortable with displaying too much body detail by wearing ultra tight trousers or no underwear, but luckily they are not pressured to do so. That is the difference.

MaidOfAle · 03/03/2025 16:43

SiobhanSharpe · 03/03/2025 15:46

@MaidOfAle there is still a big difference between naked male chests which you can see all the time at swimming pools, beaches and occasionally on the street.
But for naked female breasts it is obviously the European, north American and Asian cultural norm to cover up, on the whole. Unlike some African regions where women traditionally do not cover their breasts.
In some European countries women go topless on beaches and here too sometimes, but rarely at swimming pools or on the street. In fact most hotel and public pools have signage about appropriate swimwear.

Meanwhile many ordinary men may well be uncomfortable with displaying too much body detail by wearing ultra tight trousers or no underwear, but luckily they are not pressured to do so. That is the difference.

It's more that I don't understand why women's breasts are sexualised. Unlike a man, my nipples can feed babies, yet I have to cover mine whilst he bares his? Make it make sense.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 03/03/2025 17:10

DreadPirateRobots · 01/11/2024 11:49

I got them impression her music was targeted at young girls, similar to Taylor Swift.

Have you actually ever listened to Swift's music? Why do you think it's targeted to young girls?

Swift is in her midthirties and her music reflects it. She swears. She sings about dysfunctional relationships and being with drug users and a complex relationship with her own self-image. Her music hasn't been "targeted at young girls" for at least fifteen years. Carpenter's music is also for an adult audience.

Came here to say exactly this. The amount of mums on facebook groups outraged that Eras Tour tickets weren't priority-access for kids because "Taylor's for kids" - drove me nuts.

Sabrina is the same. There's so much criticism of female popstars for not being kid friendly, as if all of them have to be kids TV presenters. Nobody throws this rubbish at men.

sunshine237 · 03/03/2025 20:12

'Came here to say exactly this. The amount of mums on facebook groups outraged that Eras Tour tickets weren't priority-access for kids because "Taylor's for kids" - drove me nuts.

Sabrina is the same. There's so much criticism of female popstars for not being kid friendly, as if all of them have to be kids TV presenters. Nobody throws this rubbish at men.'

Those really aren't the same things at all.

birdiesings · 03/03/2025 22:18

fitzwilliamdarcy · 03/03/2025 17:10

Came here to say exactly this. The amount of mums on facebook groups outraged that Eras Tour tickets weren't priority-access for kids because "Taylor's for kids" - drove me nuts.

Sabrina is the same. There's so much criticism of female popstars for not being kid friendly, as if all of them have to be kids TV presenters. Nobody throws this rubbish at men.

Show quote history

Because male musicians don't typically perform gyrating in lingerie and simulating blowjobs.

The performance also opened the Brits before the watershed, when families would be watching.

Timeandemotion · 06/03/2025 22:53

I've just been watching the wonderful Nina Simone.
A strong woman with so much musical talent.
She makes me proud of being a woman.

Sabrina carpenter and these other supposed singers who prance around in next to nothing using men's idea of sexuality to make money whilst pretending to offer something musically just make me embarrassed for womanhood.

AliceMcK · 06/03/2025 23:08

I learnt about her because my 10yo DD is obsessed with her wants to see her in concert, so I looked her up, NUP not a chance am I even considering encouraging my DD. I won’t outright ban her but won’t encourage her by buying merch etc. Saying that I do love her doing a duet with Dolly x

I do see where your coming from OP, there is nothing new about her sexualised entertainment but I don’t like her target audience i.e my 10yo DD!

Timeandemotion · 07/03/2025 00:22

AliceMcK · 06/03/2025 23:08

I learnt about her because my 10yo DD is obsessed with her wants to see her in concert, so I looked her up, NUP not a chance am I even considering encouraging my DD. I won’t outright ban her but won’t encourage her by buying merch etc. Saying that I do love her doing a duet with Dolly x

I do see where your coming from OP, there is nothing new about her sexualised entertainment but I don’t like her target audience i.e my 10yo DD!

I'm seriously interested to know how your DD even knows enough about her to be obsessed with her.
From what I've heard of her songs - admittedly not very much- the content of them isn't suitable for a child. So where does your child listen to her music?
Don't parents these days try and have some control over what music their young children listen to?
It's unbelievable to me that children as young as 10 are listening to songs that are so overtly sexual.
Allowing a child to be exposed to sexual activity is supposed to be a criminal offence. And yet some parents are happy to see this woman simulating sexual acts. Why is that considered ok?

CalicoPusscat · 07/03/2025 00:57

I just thought her clothing looked like very scratchy nylon

AliceMcK · 08/03/2025 00:35

Timeandemotion · 07/03/2025 00:22

I'm seriously interested to know how your DD even knows enough about her to be obsessed with her.
From what I've heard of her songs - admittedly not very much- the content of them isn't suitable for a child. So where does your child listen to her music?
Don't parents these days try and have some control over what music their young children listen to?
It's unbelievable to me that children as young as 10 are listening to songs that are so overtly sexual.
Allowing a child to be exposed to sexual activity is supposed to be a criminal offence. And yet some parents are happy to see this woman simulating sexual acts. Why is that considered ok?

Show quote history

Erm friends, the radio, dance school… She’s massively mainstream with extremely popular music!

Are you seriously telling me you stop your children listening to the radio, talk to their friends, watch tv?

My DDs don’t watch popular tv, it’s never on here, I personally think the shit on tv that the uk population is obsessed with is ridiculous. But my children do attend dance classes where popular music is played.

should I ban all this???

FaithFables · 08/03/2025 00:50

Timeandemotion · 06/03/2025 22:53

I've just been watching the wonderful Nina Simone.
A strong woman with so much musical talent.
She makes me proud of being a woman.

Sabrina carpenter and these other supposed singers who prance around in next to nothing using men's idea of sexuality to make money whilst pretending to offer something musically just make me embarrassed for womanhood.

Sabrina isn't doing anything different to what Madonna was doing 40 years ago!

Ihitthetarget · 08/03/2025 12:02

MaidOfAle · 03/03/2025 16:43

It's more that I don't understand why women's breasts are sexualised. Unlike a man, my nipples can feed babies, yet I have to cover mine whilst he bares his? Make it make sense.

Show quote history

I guess it's because they are a secondary sexual characteristic and an erogenous zone so seen as sexual (even though I agree are primarily for breastfeeding).

I agree op- saw the Brits act (never heard of her before) and was really disappointed. Pre watershed sex show is what it seemed like to me. Just completely unnecessary and sets women back with the message that it's attractive to perform that way

I have 3 sons - too young at present to watch (and hopefully parental controls on Spotify etc would block explicit content?), but I'm concerned that soon they'll be surrounded by this sort of material and the message this sends them about women and expectations. Harder to give them messages re respect, not assuming, valuing women for achievement etc then they see this in mainstream society.