Does your Y6 DD wear make up?

[Didntseethemountain]

A large number of DD’s friends (Y6) have started wearing mascara and lipstick/lip gloss and talking about it. A lot. I’d go so far as to say all the time. There’s also lots of chat about whether it’s the “right” make up - whether they’ve bought it from the right place etc - and about skincare.

DD hasn’t expressed any interest to us in buying any make up yet. She is using some skincare because she was getting the odd spot, but just straightforward stuff from the supermarket - she isn’t asking us to buy any of these designer skincare products her friends are talking about. She came home from a sleepover last year saying that the endless chat and constant application and remover of moisturiser was a bit boring, but I am also aware that things change and that it may not be long until she decides that she wants to jump on the bandwagon…

Instinctively, I feel that it’s bonkers for 10 year olds but I also appreciate that when you’re 10, the maintenance of your friendships is hugely important to you and I don’t want to mess that up for her. Please talk to me about what’s “normal” for your Y6 girls - is it that I’m stuck in the past?

Yes. Not at school (not allowed) but if she's going to a party or out for tea etc, then yes. She's very good at it. Better than me.
She also has a better skin care regime than me. Although I've had to put my foot down at some of the skin care she wants to use as it's too old for her young skin and actually caused her skin to flare up.
It's tik tok etc that have influenced her. One of her group of friends is exactly the same. The other group isn't into it, so she doesn't discuss things like that with them.
She enjoys it, I don't see the harm in it.
There's equally nothing wrong with still playing with Barbies etc and not being interested in make up. Every person and group of friends has different interests and this is hers.

I would actually 💯 agree with this

I'd agree with the above too.
Retinol is not suitable for such young skin, many of these other products are not suitable either, they're far too harsh.

Totally agree with the 2 tribes, we had parent’s evening recently and the teacher alluded to as much and it being related to internet access. DD has some Simple face wash and moisturiser which she uses when she remembers(!) and lip gloss which she puts on if we are ‘going out’ but that’s it and so far she’s not interested in anything else.
Totally expecting that to change once yr7 comes around…

A child wanting to be creative, show self expression a d do "amazing" art... Can use face paints or draw something or make something or write something.

Make up only exists to make women "look pretty", and why do they need to look pretty? For men. It's a sexualisation of children, and to pretend a 10 year old putting on expensive and unnecessary makeup as an act of "self expression" is bollocks. It's exploitative, the companies of course want brand loyalty from childhood. They want a child to start buying from 8 years old instead of 18, they bet 10+ more years of income that way.

All this self expression and creativity BS is excusing and allowing society to exploit and sexualise young children.

I’m sad you think that way. So everytime you wear make-up you are looking for sexual attention?

When I was 10, I remember going to The Body Shop (I'm 53 btw!) with my friend and a lady there taught us about cleansing, toning and moisturising. I've followed her advice ever since.

About that age, my mum bought me a basic make up set and I used to experiment with it. Loved those days!

I agree the full face is too much. Lip gloss and light mascara is a good way to let her feel partly involved without all that nonsense on her young skin. If you go for sparkle it packs a punch without looking to aged!

My daughter is Y7. In Y6 I took her to the Clinique counter for a good matched concealer for spots as they were upsetting her, and just this week I have allowed clear lip gloss for the first time (but warned her if she buys coloured lip gloss, it’s game over). Make up from 13 in our house - but even secondary uniform policy leaves wiggle room for discreet concealer on spots.

I agree there are two tribes. DD calls the kids in full make-up “Sephora girls”.

Deffo Tik Tok, Sephora is the place to shop.

Mine aren't into it but are aware of it (9 &13).

Truthfully for the greater part of my life, ( maybe not when I was seriously dating, but certainly as a schoolgirl and as a mother), I have not dressed or made myself up to please or attract men because I really wasn’t trying to. I would be far more interested ( and influenced by) what my female friends thought about how I looked, and even then mostly I’d ignore and go for what I liked. Males are nowhere in my concept of how I look or dress. Otherwise I’d probably be in stilettos with a too-short skirt and bright red lipstick or something very overt. It’s about making me feel I look the way I want to look. It’s ok for girls to like to feel pretty - or chic, or fashionable, or out there, or whatever it is they like. What’s wrong is for them to feel pressured to. There is a balance to be observed.

Sorry “ too aged.”

@shockeditellyou i agree there are two types of girl in this respect, and my dd age 14 has only just started to cotton on to the fact most girls her age have a skincare regime. But it’s not “internet use” - it’s specifically certain SM channels that push this stuff, dd still doesn’t bother with Insta or TikTok and I think that is why she hasn’t got “into” the beauty craze. DD spends half her waking hours on YouTube and Netflix - so it’s definitely content on other SM channels that drives this plus a normal desire to be grown up, into fashion, be like older sisters or friends, etc.

I think it’s fairly harmless honestly. I remember being obsessed with getting a perm at this age as it was the thing to do (I wasn’t allowed).

Dd has used products to control spots for a few years and uses Vaseline for dry lips. But she still really doesn’t bother much with makeup, a bit of primer sometimes and that’s really all. She does love using clay face mask which helps with oiliness and she spends a lot of time and care on her hair.

There are actually three tribes.

The full face on ones.
The ones that couldn't care less.

And the "dabblers". They might have a few bits and pieces, like to experiment, but aren't fussed about brands , the in thing or dedicate too much time to it.

I work in a school though, and in y6 the first group are still a minority. Even later on(DD is y8),so it does also depend on the cohort/friendship group.

Absolutely not. My just 12 year old Y7 is still a complete soap dodger 🤣

LIke with anything, I think it's all about the levels it's at. I don't like to see year 6 girls decked out in full make up, false eyelashes etc, but I think a bit of lip gloss or some shimmery blush or glittery eye shadow at a party is fine. The reality is that many many women wear make up so part of the teaching we have to do is to teach our children when and what make up is appropriate. What I wear to the office is not the same as what I'd wear to a night out, for example, and I fully expect year 5 DD to undrstand that.

Similarly skin care - frankly, I think the fact that it's become a thing for younger children (girls and boys) to actually have a skincare routine is actually brilliant. BUT... it has to be appropriate. Retinol for a teenager is a terrible idea. Most actives are terrible. But getting them properly into cleansing and moisterising their faces,and protecting them (starting with SPF only at this age) can only be a good thing.

To directly answer your question, in Y6 DD wore lip balms (she's always had an obsession with it) and occasionally lip gloss. Mascara and eye shadow twice in the whole year for parties, when not messing about at home. She had some concealer for spots, skin care routine was and still is cerave/cetaphil and moisturiser, with SPF moisturiser in the summer. That

She had some other inexpensive bits and pieces to "play with" and experiment at home, but that was her normal/daily routine.

My 9 year old loves experimenting with make up at home and when we go somewhere special she’ll wear some lipgloss or maybe some sparkly eyeshadow. She’s definitely not into skincare though as I’ve drilled that into her that it’s not good for young skin and it’s boring! Her make up is cheap too and her and her friends don’t talk about it a lot. That does sound boring!

Unfortunately yes, this is very common. My DSD is 12 & was wearing moisturiser, concealer, mascara and lipgloss to primary school in Year 6. Now in year 7 she has a small bottle of foundation & some setting powder. She has also bought the Bioma face washes & multiple night time masks for using (with her own money).

Had she been my biological daughter, this wouldn’t have been happening full stop as it’s not good for her skin, but our relationship is different and all I can do is advise on the best way to remove it all & make sure she is not destroying her natural skin barrier by using any of my harsher creams / face washes. Ultimately this is out of my hands & rules are implemented by her Dad, but it makes me so so sad that this is the world she is growing up in.

I remember how cool and pretty I used to feel going to the end of year discos (even into high school) wearing a load of glitter on my face with massive crimped hair!!

I mostly agree with all this. Only caveat I’d add is our paediatrician said children’s skin is best washed with just water unless there is actual dirt ( so hands, knees, sweaty armpits, bottoms a bit of soap) as it is self regulating and shouldn’t need soap or moisturiser. For that reason, as long as their face is blemish free I wouldn’t start disrupting the skin balance. Different once the teenage sebum kicks in! I use a bit of gentle cleanser to remove suncream after use, but otherwise our DC’s skin is peachy perfect with just water. But maybe it’s about 11 or 12 that stops?

My 8 and 10 year olds are obsessed with make up and skin care

Never in primary school.

My DD is in yr 9. She has never worn foundation. She has a clear mascara, clear eye brow gel and some lip gloss but she doesn't routinely wear them .

Yeah, I see what you mean. Certainly, the approach I've taken is not to insist on the routine at all becuase I agree, to a large extent, water only is fine (and i'm very anti-soap on the skin at any age).

The one difference is that when I was their age I didn't wear SPF unless I was specifically goign to the beach or something. And thes days school asks for SPF to be applied daily in the summer and that needs more than water I think.

I also remind DD that if she is using her SPF product, then she must remove it at night. If she hasn't, she can splash her face with water and be done with it!

Yes we also do cleanser after sunscreen. I think you have to. I’ve tried to get quite gentle ones so it doesn’t trigger the strip, moisturise pattern. But I agree sunscreen needs to come off. It’s needed but has nasties in it.

Dd had a Disney princess make up set and Disney perfume for years but asked for 'real' make up and perfume at that age. She's 11 and at high school now and she has an eyeshadow palette of fun colours (which she never uses), 1 nude lipstick and a bottle of perfume. The lipstick and perfume are used on special occasions and daily she just uses lip balm, a roll on and a light body spray. She does have her nails manicured and polished once a month (neutral shade during term time, whatever she wants in school holidays) and also has her eyebrows shaped as she was becoming self conscious of how low they grow. No skincare beyond face wash and moisturiser at the moment, but she's aware that if she ever starts wearing foundation etc. that she will be encouraged to double cleanse