I'm going to take it as a massive compliment...

[Diaryfear]

But I'm not sure what it is about me that brought it about.

I'm going on a hobby related trip abroad. I've done quite a few of them, usually 8-12 people. They can get messy!

Somehow this time we have 30+ including a woman who's been involved with the hobby a long time, but not on one of these trips. She's nervous.

I don't know her particularly well, she's a member of a different club, but we've chatted at events.

She seems to have adopted me as her safe place to ask "stupid questions", questions she doesn't want to ask on the group chat. She's says she knew I'd be kind about it.

I hope I am, but so would anyone else, and there are lots of people she knows better than me, including the woman she's sharing a room with!

So why is she approaching me?

She must think you have a kind face and feels you are approachable. It's a good thing unless she starts trauma dumping

Dunno 🤷‍♂️

Does it matter? She had to choose someone I suppose and she chose you, that's all.

I wouldn't overthink it.

Some people give off that sort of energy.. if you will.
Often times people will gravitate to one person to open up to, maybe they don't even know they're doing it. But it happens.

Maybe the woman she knows better is a gossip or is patronising to her. Maybe you don't go around saying 'Oh X asked me a silly question'

Because she doesn't know you that well, if she feels like she's made a fool of herself she's not wrecked a good friendship.

It's not much of a friendship if it will be wrecked by asking a daft question or showing some nerves.

You are obviously an approachable person. See it as a compliment.

Yes, take it as a compliment!

@Diaryfear
You write about the hobby trips that "They can get messy!".

I'm just curious, messy in what way? That people get lost? That people get into arguments? That people drink too much? That people lose their things?

(English is not my first language, so I don't know what messy means in this case).

This.

Generally drink too much, I'm afraid, although the pictures that make it to social media make it look worse than it is.

@Diaryfear
Thank you for explaining!

I hope you will all have fun on the trip!

You must come across as a friendly, nice person who won’t laugh about her “stupid questions” behind her back with the group. Definitely a compliment.

I'm the person at work everyone says is the safe person to ask a stupid question 😂😂😂

I've asked a few people why as I didn't think I gave off any sort of vibe about this.

Mainly the answers have been because I'm a non judgemental person and don't take sides. I listen and only give advice after listening and asking if that's what they want.

I guess it's not always something we consciously do or intend to promote we offer 😂😂

Likewise on the flip side I always say I go to my line manager when I need an empathetic kick up the bum but go to the manager above when I just need tea and sympathy!

I'm sure she'll go to others for other things as they give off different vibes?!

She thinks you know the answers, presumably.