Yesterday I witnessed a woman in a shopping centre shouting something like, “Shut the fuck up, you stupid arsehole” at her daughter who looked about 7 years old. They were passing me on an escalator so I didn’t have time to say anything but I wish I had because it was so horrible.
Today when we were talking about it, my 6 yo son said that I “always” swear at him and have called him an arsehole. I asked him several times what he meant and he was adamant about it. He later backtracked but I found it really upsetting. To be clear, the only time he ever hears me swear is when another driver does something dangerous on the road, and I have always told him those are bad words, Mummy shouldn't say them even in the car, we must never ever say them to anybody IRL. I would never ever swear at him. My own parents were very abusive and because of that, I have always been so wary of how I speak to my own children when I'm angry with them. So it breaks my heart to have my son say something like that to me. I don't know if he was just trying to get a reaction from me but I found it really, sorry to use this word, triggering.
I don't really know why I am writing this, just don't know how to feel. I feel like I have failed as a mother and as a human.