Any good sen friendly non upf?

[Newsenmum]

I put SEN friendly just to give context really. I was always quite a healthy eater, wanted to make sure ds ate everything and did very smug baby led weaning. Silly me! 🙄pointless.

He is autistic and is incredibly particular and anxious about food. He really won’t eat if it’s ‘wrong’ and yes that means he will lose weight. It means his current repertoire for protein involves very processed things like quorn nuggets, quorn sausages (SOMETIMES), falafel made up from a particular mix and I’m lucky, tofu. He won’t touch meat or fish as it’s murder. I don’t blame him but I just want him to eat tbh.

In the past we got eggs but no more, also beans. For carbs we get pasta and chips. Honestly I feel so awful just typing this. He likes some fruit and veg.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has ideas of things I can offer that are vegetarian and less processed? Any good recipes for own meatballs’ or burgers maybe but looking really uniform and not full of bits?

All my friends have some pickiness but nothing like us. I feel like such a failure and worry so much about his health :(

I have a lot of anxiety and all this info about UPF being so bad for you makes me feel like such a bad mum.

It’s great that falafel is on that list. You could experiment with making your own and subbing in other beans etc. We’ve found that we can make up a ‘sausage’ with almost anything as long as it is first blended in a Nutribullet to no texture, and then breadcrumbed.
we also take same approach to sneaking lentils into pasta sauce. For my kid it’s all about texture - can you identify what the issue is for yours?

What is the issue in particular - taste, look or feel?
DD is autistic but doesn't have ARFID
DD will eat whole bananas or mangos but sliced is a no go as it's slimy.
Cous cous and quinoa were a hit at that age as it was dry but is more nutritious than pasta etc.

UPF is obviously not great but if you keep it to the minimum things that he'll eat to keep him fed then that is better than the alternative. I'd minimise non-essential UPFs like treats etc though.

Texture, taste but also how it looks. I once cut carrots the wrong shape and he saw it was different and was upset. I’ve made our own veggie meatballs before but there were ‘bits’ he could see.

Do you have recipes you’ve followed?

He does like cous cous actually! Need to try quinoa again. Also likes rice.

Do you have any recipes for how you make those?

I put lentils in pasta sauce and he noticed the colour change so wouldn’t eat a pasta sauce for months 😭 now he will have plain passata again which is something!

Sounds very much like ARFID. they like those things mentioned cause texture is always the same. I speak as a 42 year old with arfid

with a child with a restricted diet I wouldn’t look to change anything, it risks backfiring and making things worse.

There's the pasta sauce where you grate the veg, blend it in processor to add veg in with no bits.

I do like tatertots. Where I mash sweet potatoe, grate veg bit of cheese. Then you either fry or airfry. Kinda like a nugget, but nice easy finger food, with a predictable texture like a chip. (Arfid in this house, all sensory based food issues)

I sometimes get away with a curry, but it's sweet potatoe and I make the sauce with coconut milk, so it's all soft with no crunch.

I use to get away with tarts, pitta bread pizzas but that's been refused lately.

I sometimes manage when I use a Diddy star shaped cutter. So little bite sized pieces she doesn't get overwhelmed with over biting into something big if that makes sense? It's worked with peanut butter sandwiches and cheese sandwiches.

Apples and plums I use a star shaped mini cutter again and ditch the skin and that's worked. (Think the combination texture of apple skin then the innards is a no go)

This is also my worry! It’s so hard though. I think I’d like to find new things to make and add as a side to what he normally has, so nothing is taken away.

His diet isn’t terrible and is probably so restricted that I bet he misses vast ranges of UPFs in things like ready meals. I wouldn’t be too worried to be honest.

I hope so. Thank you.

The other thing is timing
DD will eat a massively varied diet and is adventurous in the right setting, nice quiet restaurant shell try anything, school canteen it's the exact same packed lunch everyday and even then sometimes the environment makes her lose her appetite.

When she's stressed, under the weather, generally overwhelmed it's the same old comfort foods, when she's relaxed and happy and well she'll be happier to broaden her tastes.

Food has to be the same temperatures the same plate so hot dinner on one plate and cold side salad on another etc.

Lumpy texture where there isn't meant to be lumps is a no go so my poorly made custard is sometimes a no go.

I would try not to worry about the processed foods, if his diet is already restricted there is no benefit in taking out things he can eat. His diet will never be perfect and that is totally fine, there is balance to everything and there are good elements within processed foods and the processing does not take away from the nuggets being a source of protein etc.
Processed foods are always going to be more trusted because they are reliably consistent and that is really hard to replicate with homemade foods, you are not doing him a disservice by letting him have access to that consistency. Eating is better than not eating and nuggets are not poison, he will be okay

I looked after a child who couldn't tolerate 'bits' in her food, we would puree a lot of things (mostly vegetables) and then mix it into mashed potato/ sweet potato and she would either eat it like that or we would cook it into potato cakes.
She liked vegetable curries as long as we pureed them so none of the vegetables were visible, and would eat that over rice.
Same for soups, all blended until uniform lentils and chickpeas were okay as long as they were blended until smooth.
She would only eat yogurts or smoothies if we froze them into lollies, and would also eat peas and carrots frozen but not fresh.

With selective eaters we always tried to leave their safe foods alone (not mixing anything in or changing them) and give them something safe with every meal. It is difficult, you are doing well.