How many times have you been in love?

[CatsandBeer]

As in, head over heels, I'd do anything for you, type love?

For me, only once, and I'm worried I won't ever find it again! Change my mind!

I think, probably, never. I was married for 19 years. Hindsight is a revelation.

3 x. And in all three times the man never felt the same way about me

Twice I think.
Once was my first love - this is the one I doubt. I was 15 he was 24, I worshipped the ground he walked on. He, well, I think we all know his feelings without any details although at the time I’d have told you he loved me like I loved him.
The second - my husband, and 25 years on I still feel exactly the same.

Four. And I’m married to number 4.

I am still friends with number 2 and occasionally see number 3. Number 3 cheated on me, which is why we broke up, but interestingly when we meet I can see we would likely have had a happy marriage if he hadn’t. That doesn’t detract from how much I love my husband or how happy our marriage is, simply that it is clear to me that there is no such thing as “the one.”

four times

Once with my husband. I think the other times I've been in a relationship and thought I was in love it turned out to be just an intense feeling of lust, because I got over those relationships very quickly when they were over. I had a boyfriend when I was 15 who I was head over heels for and I was upset after we ended but I put that down to everything being a new experience and being young.

One teenage experience of trauma bonding, several instances of intense obsession/limerance, which would always fade rapidly once there was any reciprocation or relationship. Only experienced love that deepens over time and enriches life rather than diminishing it with my current partner of 8 years, beginning in mid 30s. Took me by surprise as when we first got involved I was expecting it to get him out of my system.

Once.
I married him in my 20s and now we're in our 60s.

The head over heels chemical/mad with lust stage, whilst exciting, was the least remarkable bit in my opinion. The shared, lifelong love that comes afterwards feels much more sustainable, genuine and enduring.

The head over heels chemical/mad with lust stage, whilst exciting, was the least remarkable bit in my opinion. The shared, lifelong love that comes afterwards feels much more sustainable, genuine and enduring.

this is what I was trying to express in my post.