What could I have done differently for this friend?

[Sofaspot]

Not a best friend or anything but someone I've known a long time and who I often do things related to a shared interest with.

She's always been very busy at work and terrible at replying to messages. I learned not to take it personally, it generally means she doesn't have the time/head space to think about what I was asking and she gets in touch when she's ready. The couple of times I've asked her for help with something that really mattered, she jumped to it.

Over the last few months, when I've seen her she hasn't been herself and she's stopped replying to messages at all. I've asked if she's OK face to face several times and been told just busy. When I tried to get in touch other ways I was ignored. In the end I'm afraid I decided "sod you"

She reappeared this weekend and told me she hasn't been in touch because she was embarrassed she'd spent some time in a "retreat" (?) after a suicide attempt.

I have a whole array of feelings over this, but it's obviously not about me. Is there anything I should have done differently or should do going forward?

I don’t think you could have done anything g differently .
I have a friend who goes dark and it’s usually a sign that things are bad. I send her the odd thinking of you message and try not to take it personally when she doesn’t reply.

Just remind her that you are available if she needs anything

I’d say neither of you have anything to look back on and regret, it’s natural to think like that but you tried at the time, she wasn’t in the right place to open up, she’s thankfully got some help and she’s here now and sharing with you what’s happened. She values you as a friend to do that. It’s your choice on how much you want to get back involved here, but if the friendship is something you value, I’d say it’s important to focus on now, not what’s gone before. If you can reassure her that she’s nothing to be embarrassed over, that you understand she was going through something really tough, let her know you are glad she felt able to share that with you and ask her what would be most helpful for her now, you could hopefully be there for her and reconnect with each other.