Thoughts about empty nest in future

[BluePurpl]

Does anyone with young children ever have these thoughts about having an empty nest one day and feel super sad about it? Children are staying with grandparents and previously I would have loved a bit of me time in the evening but I now find myself feeling to sad that this is how it will be one day. I still have many years before it happens but still, it’s breaks my heart. Anyone feel the same or am I mad?

Don’t worry, once you’ve been through the teen years losing them will be a lot less of a wrench.

Less facetiously, it’s a great comfort to see them spread their wings, so proud of my girls.. and great to spend more time with their Dad.

Was coming here to write the exact same message! The teenage years are a practice run for them to leave and you might be glad of some peace.
i have/had 3 teenagers at home, the oldest has just gone to uni and while we miss her of course, we are so proud of her maturity and independence. It's what you've been preparing them for for years by this stage. I still miss the baby/toddler years though, looking forward to grandchildren one day!

I hope they will still want us in their lives, not in a helicopter parent way but as in we don’t want to be ´rid’ of them (even if it will be nice to buy to buy 12 bananas and have 1 banana to eat 24 hours later… and to be able to find and use my phone charger!)

Also very excited to have grandchildren, if they want to have children.

Well both of mine have been gone for a couple of years . Ds1 left at 17 but came back for a short period at 21 and left a few months later.
Ds left at 22 and is now 25.
We see both of them several times a week. We are in daily contact. Ds1 usually phones for a chat in his way home from work. We go out as a family ( plus gutlfriends) a lot. We went out as a 6 on Saturday fir my birthday.
We go to events together or if it's a motorbike thing Dh and both lads usually go.
I always think that they have to go away to come back.
It's nice having the house to ourselves but honestly, they are never far away so I don't feel like I've had an empty nest.

If the housing market remains as insane as it is now, you’ll be lucky if any of them move out before they’re 30.

Only one left at home here. I'm really hoping she can fly the nest successfully in her twenties.

When mine were little it made me sad to think of them growing up and leaving home, but the teenage tears soon helped with that lol.

I don't think we will ever have a totally empty nest. I have two severely disabled grandchildren and we will want to support them and give our dc a break. She must think of the future in a very different way than us and gets overwhelmed/scared if she thinks too far ahead.

Sometimes. But more often I get sad about the idea that they might not be able to fly the nest until they’re much older than I was.

Nearly all my friends in London and the SE have their DC still living with them in their late twenties.

😂😂😂

I sometimes think about it OP, then I remember my 23 year old nephew is still at home and showing no signs of leaving and I feel like I don't need to be too sad whilst my youngest is still 3!

Think about people you know who’ve never been able to have children. Some of us have had an empty nest our whole lives.

It sounds a bit cliche but you need to focus on developing yourself and your own life, outside of your children.

You've been focussed on raising them for so many years - it's normal to lose yourself a little bit in that - but it was not ever going to last forever.

If you build a fulfilling life of your own, that you enjoy, you will not feel sad. Can you reach out and find some new friends and hobbies for yourself? Start building a community and network of your own, outside of your family.

That is a cold hearted comment @cocoloco23

I have been going through fertility struggles myself for 5 years, so I get it completely. I desperately long for a child.

But people's struggles are relative to them and their own lives. OP is allowed to be struggling with this massive life change.

My youngest and last moved away recently. We have an empty nest. Its shit.

It does make me really sad. My eldest are 15 so I have time before thinking about them leaving but still only less than 3 years till they're going to university 😕

My youngest is 6 so I'm grateful I have more time before being completely empty

I was thinking this exact thing earlier today while walking with DH! I hear you.

My DC have just gone to stay with grandparents for a few days and I felt little pang and knew I’d miss them. And then I thought forward to them leaving home for good one day😭

I mean, it’s what we all want for them- that they’ll go and spread their wings and live wonderful fulfilled lives of their own- but goodness I’ll miss them. They are really lovely and I love them very much❤️

Thankfully DH is pretty decent too and I have a lot of books to keep me company😁

No it's nice when they grow up and fly off to start their adult lives. It's nice when they visit and when I visit them but it's lovely to do exactly what I want with my free time without having to care for smaller or younger people though I do try to spoil them with nice cooking when they are here.

I have spent most of my life in a nuclear family set up, growing up with my parents and sibling of course, I went away to uni but ended up getting married and starting a family pretty much straight out of uni (I know, unusual, very un-MN, but 15 years later and no regrets yet!) anyway, the idea of living just as adults does seem really weird to me. I wonder if the house will stop feeling like a home if there isn't the hustle and bustle of 4 people?

If you look at it rationally, you will see that it makes no sense to worry about something that is so far away in the future for which you have no control whatsoever.

I have really lovely teens and they aren't making this any easier. My eldest will be off to uni in September and I'll miss him terribly.