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Original poster

How on earth do women give birth without epidurals?

596 replies

Begaydocrime94 · 28/10/2024 16:45

genuine question, for those of you who have given birth without epidurals, how?? Just gave birth for the second time and was hoping for no epidural this time but caved pretty much immediately. How do women cope without? Do some women just cope better with pain etc?

OP posts:
Badanxiety · 30/10/2024 09:52

First child had gas and air and a tens machine and then when I’d had enough it was time to push. On my second he was born prematurely and his labour was awful, had pethidine on him and that was amazing but wore off when time to push. Both labours were about 4 hours long so manageable

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/10/2024 10:00

Boymum024 · 30/10/2024 09:33

Look, your username says everything, you clearly thrive on conflict. The OP asked how people get on without epidurals, I’ve given my own account whether you like or agree with it.

Yes, women do die in childbirth, but the likelihood of that is complications and not down to a low pain threshold.

I feel fortunate that I was able to birth my three babies epidural free, not everyone has the same experience, we’re all different. I don’t think my comment warrants you coming at me, have a great day!

Show quote history

I’m not ‘coming at you’ and my user name references the fact I can put things a bit bluntly. I do like evidence for statements. I think it helps. That’s all.
Enjoy your day.

SmileyHappyPeopleInTheSun · 30/10/2024 10:04

I had years of terrible period pain and being fobbed of by GP as I must have a low pain threshold yet managed 3 large babies with minimal or no pain relief.

I had gas and air with the first and probably some local anesthesia once resident was called and decided on ventose delivery - MW later said 5 mins more I wouldn't have needed that annoying and twice later tore down episiotomy scar which was most pain during and after.

Babies were in right place and heavy so labours were quick.

However MW did seemed anti any pain relief - they clearly dislike me on gas and air with first and even that wasn't an option with later labours.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Antenatal & postnatal Childbirth Families
Sortumn · 30/10/2024 10:06

First labour was a long back to back one. I think an epidural may have led to a C-section.

Second labour was fast and furious at home. I screamed a lot and being able to just let it all out was thoroughly cathartic.

Third labour was slow at around 7 hrs and gentle other than the last 7 minutes when she barreled her way out scraping her elbow along my bowel as she went.

Geranen · 30/10/2024 10:12

I did 30 hours on gas and air then ended up with EMCS. Might as well have gone straight for the epidural.

celticprincess · 30/10/2024 10:58

Squidlette · 30/10/2024 09:42

And a ball girl dashing in to catch the baby!

Show quote history

Haha love my autocorrect!! However this comment isn’t far from what happened. Once the episiotomy was cut my baby did almost fall out and one of the midwives had to quickly catch!!

petmad · 30/10/2024 11:27

It depends on you're pain tolerance i did all three births no pain relief at all not even entonox but i have got a high pain tolerance and my labors as daft as it sounds weren't that painful. if you're calm and don't get het up its easier to deal with. i remember when i was in labor with my first 20 years old the women in the next room was making loads of noise put the wind up me a bit but midwife said just ignore her their all like that. Being vocal dosent help it just wear you out and you get all upset and stressed which isn't good for you or baby. Were all different if you feel the pain is too much get pain relief

TheGreatestAtuin · 30/10/2024 13:06

I've given birth twice without pain relief (i.e. drugs/epidural/gas and air). My first was a syntocinon induction (such fun!) and I fully expected to be encouraged to have an epidural from the beginning (I'd have refused anyway) but it was never even mentioned.

  1. I didn't want any unnecessary interventions if at all possible
  2. Both of my births were relatively quick (less than 6 hrs)
  3. I did keep an open mind and didn't rule anything out.

I used hypnobirthing techniques, also had a tens machine which was a godsend.

With the induction I did ask for an epidural eventually, but turns out I was in transition at that point so then I just got on with pushing and I felt better (for a given value).

Everyone is different and I think people (men and women) do absolutely have different pain thresholds. Labour pain was very intense for me, but also I tried to keep in mind that it was a productive pain and at least I knew the cause and that it would stop at some point, that helped me through the worst bits.

I actually found the stitches after worse both times but I think I am immune to general anesthetic as I have never had stitches that didn't hurt!

However you give birth is a very personal choice and there's nothing wrong with having an epidural if you need one.

Tillow4ever · 30/10/2024 13:44

With my third I BEGGED for an epidural. I had never known pain like it. In my birth plan I had said I wanted to avoid an epidural if possible (they terrified me - I had this in all 3 birth plans). The midwife looked at my husband and he shook his head to say no. So they gave me pethadine which did absolutely nothing. The worst thing was I ended up with a spinal afterwards when they took me into theatre for a 4th degree tear. So I COULD have had the epidural given I had no choice for the stitches, and maybe I wouldn’t have been so traumatised.

I know I haven’t forgiven my husband either for that - nor the midwife who chose to override what I was asking for to do what my husband said. Oh and he told them I wasn’t using the gas and air properly (I was) so they took that off me during the active pushing stage. The midwife who came to assess me at home afterwards was shocked at that and told me it was cruel - I was only pushing for about 25 mins so wasn’t even as if I’d been going for hours without progressing! The pethadine was hours before as well, so it was doing nothing. Meaning I gave birth and got a 4th degree tear with absolutely no pain relief.

Can you tell I’m bitter?

C8H10N4O2 · 30/10/2024 14:58

Tillow4ever · 30/10/2024 13:44

With my third I BEGGED for an epidural. I had never known pain like it. In my birth plan I had said I wanted to avoid an epidural if possible (they terrified me - I had this in all 3 birth plans). The midwife looked at my husband and he shook his head to say no. So they gave me pethadine which did absolutely nothing. The worst thing was I ended up with a spinal afterwards when they took me into theatre for a 4th degree tear. So I COULD have had the epidural given I had no choice for the stitches, and maybe I wouldn’t have been so traumatised.

I know I haven’t forgiven my husband either for that - nor the midwife who chose to override what I was asking for to do what my husband said. Oh and he told them I wasn’t using the gas and air properly (I was) so they took that off me during the active pushing stage. The midwife who came to assess me at home afterwards was shocked at that and told me it was cruel - I was only pushing for about 25 mins so wasn’t even as if I’d been going for hours without progressing! The pethadine was hours before as well, so it was doing nothing. Meaning I gave birth and got a 4th degree tear with absolutely no pain relief.

Can you tell I’m bitter?

Can you tell I’m bitter?

But with very good reason - its shocking maternity care and a shocking let down by your DH leading to greater complications and damage. I wish your story was rare but it isn't - I've heard similar so many times over the years and nothing seems to change.

Bunchymcbunchface · 30/10/2024 15:26

12 hours and a 10lbs baby but there was absolutely no way I wanted a needle in my back so it was a no from me.

PoltyGal · 30/10/2024 15:56

Epidurals weren't around when I had my first so it was Natural Childbirth method. For the second child 6 years later I stuck with it.

Yes, it's hard work and yes it was painful but the routine gave me all the skills with breathing and relaxation to manage.

Goodtogossip · 30/10/2024 16:18

The thought of an epidural scared me more than a natural birth. I just gave it all I had & remembered why I was doing it & it would eventually be worth it. I had Gas & Air for both my births & recovered quickly afterwards.

Sortalike · 30/10/2024 16:19

I didn't have any pain relief. I was induced and had my waters broken, so it wasn't an intervention free labour.

I just didn't need pain relief (until they stitched me) as it was a type of pain I could cope with - DD's birth wasn't painless but it wasn't painful

My sister was really off with me for ages afterwards because she felt that I'd tried to "out do her by being a hero"...nope, it was just easy, and I was very lucky.

Britinme · 30/10/2024 20:02

I had pethidine with my first and hated it, also thought I genuinely didn't need it, so I had nothing the second and third time. I am a total chicken about some pains - especially dental pain, but somehow although labour and delivery was painful it didn't matter.

jasminocereusbritannicus · 30/10/2024 21:11

Child 1… gas and air (32 years ago)
child 2… no pain relief!!! At all!!!! Went in to be induced, monitor wasn’t working properly , sudden urge to push! They tried a different monitor and it was action stations!!!! Too late for me to have any kind of pain relief. It all seemed to be over quickly, I don’t really remember feeling pain, strangely. ( nearly 28 years ago)
child 3… gas and air (24 years ago)

To be fair , the thought of an epidural fills me with more dread! 😬 🫣

Sakuem · 30/10/2024 23:06

Gas and Air the first time, but felt that it wasn't really working for me, more psycological.
So 2nd time I tried a TENS machine on my back, that my friend had recommended. The midwifes this time taught me how to breathe through the labour pains too.

Sending you virtual hugs.
xx

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 31/10/2024 07:53

Begaydocrime94 · 28/10/2024 16:45

genuine question, for those of you who have given birth without epidurals, how?? Just gave birth for the second time and was hoping for no epidural this time but caved pretty much immediately. How do women cope without? Do some women just cope better with pain etc?

My first was pre-epidural.

My second was 10 years later, and I was promised an epidural. That went south as when I got to the hospital, I was already at 8cm. All the labor and birth plans ended up tossed out the window. It was going to be so much FUN!

I managed okay, much to my DH's and my shock (a bit pain phobic). I will say, that when the doc told me she wished she could do something to help my pain, I said, "They shoot horses in less pain than me." For some reason, that brought laughs.

I also had an episiotomy at the last second, and my DH's head was right in that area. He held on until "pumpkin head" was born and then proceeded to sway. They had to push him down into the recliner and tend to him while I just laid there........ Such an attention hog! 😆😉

Barney60 · 31/10/2024 15:13

I had a longish labour no pain relief at all not even gas and air, couldnt stand that mask over my mouth, it was just like being severely constipated. I think secret is to relax as much as your possibly able. Baby was 8lb.4, im 5ft tall .

Elphamouche · 31/10/2024 16:10

Barney60 · 31/10/2024 15:13

I had a longish labour no pain relief at all not even gas and air, couldnt stand that mask over my mouth, it was just like being severely constipated. I think secret is to relax as much as your possibly able. Baby was 8lb.4, im 5ft tall .

Did you not get offered the gas and air you bite down on? The bite for me was a saviour! I thought I would have preferred a mask as I’m used to them for nebs. But biting on that mouth peace saved me from biting a hand 😂

mitogoshigg · 31/10/2024 16:15

Didn't hurt much, toothache is far worse. I of course don't know what others feel but mild discomfort summed it up until the last hour or so when it was moderate but still nothing as bad as this tooth issue I have currently!

Wehaditsogood · 31/10/2024 16:25

Bakingandcrying · 28/10/2024 16:48

I didn’t cope with the pain well at all but can’t stand the thought of an epidural, they really freak me out. As weird as it sounds I wanted to feel what was going on, when the push etc. I had a pethidine injection and that was like being booted by a horse so wouldn’t do that again

how did you get on with the epidural? Do midwives tell you when to push?

Personally I could feel the contractions coming on even with epidural. They just weren't painful.
The doctor thought the (ventouse) birth might hurt, so I might not have dosed myself up very much.

Politygal · 31/10/2024 20:21

@@Mitogoshigg Have you tried a hot water bottle against your jaw. Clove oil from the pharmacy when open, put it on the tooth.

lilkitten · 02/11/2024 12:15

Needmorelego · 28/10/2024 16:51

I had pethidine and gas and air.
It was nice and floaty.

Me too, it was quite nice as far as giving birth goes. With my first it was a long and complicated delivery, they gave me a small epidural halfway through so that I could sleep a bit and they could put a drip in, but it had worn off well before delivery. I do have a high pain threshold though

Mumtobe202310 · 02/11/2024 12:28

InnerPlop · 28/10/2024 16:51

Birthed on a midwife led unit, so knew if I wanted an epidural I was going to get moved to the maternity ward - which I absolutely did not want. It was short term pain, for long term gain.

hi there! can I please ask why you didn't want to be on the maternity ward?

I gave birth just a year ago and didn't really know much about midwife led unit, I knew it was next to hospital so if anything happened I could be moved there but was scared of taking any chances since it was my first baby.

However, I had a traumatic time in maternity ward so I just wanted to know what are the cons you would say of a midwife led unit? Just so I can be aware if I ever get pregnant again xxx