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Which / would any be dating dealbreakers for you?

26 replies

Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 16:02

A. Partner who can't drive
b. Partner who has most teeth missing
C partner who doesn't have a job

Which would be dealbreakers (if any)?

OP posts:
Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 16:03

I think the only one that might bother me is the teeth.

OP posts:
HalloweenHaribo · 28/10/2024 16:05

Teeth and job.

I'm not bothered about the driving as long as they didn't expect me to be their taxi.

EBearhug · 28/10/2024 16:05

Last boyfriend didn't have a job, nor could he drive - blind and was jobhunting. The teeth would bother me, though.

NuffSaidSam · 28/10/2024 16:06

A. Doesn't bother me, I live in London.

B. Complete no-no.

C. It would depend on why they didn't have a job and what their financial situation was.

Lwrenn · 28/10/2024 16:11

Any form of murderer/rapist/predator/violent or anything even remotely suspicious about his behaviour around children firstly.

Racist.
Sexist/any of the twattish bigotry people can be.
Poor hygiene.
Unpleasant personality.
Any major criminal activity. (Minor we can discuss, a parking ticket won't matter)
Any addictions at all including porn.
Lying.
Argumentative.
Humourless.

Sartre · 28/10/2024 16:16

For me it’s lack of ambition and drive, I wouldn’t date someone far less educated and successful than me.

username1478 · 28/10/2024 16:17
  1. Doesn't like women
  2. Selfish
  3. Aggressive
OhshutupSimonyounobhead · 28/10/2024 16:19

B & C

Also somebody who is never wrong as everything will always be your fault and you will wonder if you have gone crazy.

HoHoHoliday · 28/10/2024 16:19

A. Partner who can't drive
This wouldn't bother me at all. I can't drive and manage perfectly well without it.

b. Partner who has most teeth missing
Depends why. If didn't care for themselves in general and lost teeth through poor hygiene it would be a huge turn-off deal breaker. If for example, lost teeth through illness or accident, ok.

C partner who doesn't have a job
Again, depends why. If retired, or financially secure, sounds fine. If just can't be bothered and sponges off others - absolute deal breaker.

taxguru · 28/10/2024 16:24

All 3 for me. Wouldn't want anything to do with anyone falling into any of those categories. Been there, done that, bought the T shirt. Never again.

Life's hard enough anyway, and life throws curveballs. Fair enough if an otherwise "good" partner ends up losing his job, or becomes disabled and can't drive, but I'd not start off a relationship with that kind of "issue" already in place.

Maybe if someone was unemployed, but it was only very temporary one off and there was genuine likelihood of getting another half-decent job in the very near future, I'd dip my toe in and wait to see how it pans out, but I'd not be going into any commitment until secure long term employment was in place.

I suppose, similar with regards to driving, again, dip my toe in if they were having lessons, got the test booked, and had genuine plans to buy a car, then again, I'd bide my time and only commit once passed and car bought.

Bad teeth is fixable and simply no excuse, not for letting their teeth get into a bad way, usually by lack of care, and not for getting them fixed. A definitely deal breaker, not even dipping my toe in there.

As I say, been there, done that re a non driver and unemployed. Makes life and relationship a lot harder and more stressful and not worth it, as I was the poor sod who ended up being the chauffer and ending up paying for everything! Never again. As I say, fair enough if life throws a curve ball at you, but there's simply no need to go there from the outset. Easy enough to choose someone else or simply not bother.

Ponderingwindow · 28/10/2024 16:26

A: it’s possible to have a good reason not to
B: probably couldn’t get past this one. I realize it costs money, but people get dental repair work done all the time
c: !!!!!!!! unless it’s because the person retired because they are independently wealthy and wanted to pursue something more fulfilling than work, this is the biggest dealbreaker. A strong work ethic is essential. If someone is temporarily out of work, I don’t think they would have the mental headspace to be dating because they would be too focused on the job search.

Topsy44 · 28/10/2024 16:27

A and B would be a no for me.

C would depend on the circumstances.

Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 18:17

What if the teeth was due to smoking and never going to the dentist and the lack of job was due to MH issues?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 28/10/2024 18:29

Smoking
facial Hair
Bad teeth
Rudeness to waiting staff

niadainud · 28/10/2024 18:32

Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 18:17

What if the teeth was due to smoking and never going to the dentist and the lack of job was due to MH issues?

Neither of those attributes would make them a more attractive proposition.

GoldCat255 · 28/10/2024 18:35

1 - Drug user (including vaping/tobacco) or drunkard
2 - Children from previous relationship
3 - Overweight
4 - Unemployed
5 - Chatterbox

Comedycook · 28/10/2024 18:35

A. I'd prefer a man to drive but I'd be ok if I really really liked him..

B. No teeth? Absolute deal breaker. Why doesn't he have any? It's indicative of an unstable chaotic life and possible substance misuse so I'd definitely say no.

C. No job? Why not? Temporary in-between jobs? Ok I suppose for a very short while. Retired early as was successful? Fine. Just don't work and on benefits and happy with that. Hell no.

Comedycook · 28/10/2024 18:37

I'm not single by the way...but if I was, I wouldn't date anyone who was a vegan/vegetarian.

User19876536484 · 28/10/2024 18:38

A, B and C if he doesn’t have another source of income.

JC03745 · 28/10/2024 19:05

I could understand the no driving if epileptic/health issue but generally agree with the others.

Other things that put me off- Yes, I'm aware some of these are extremely shallow:
-Picky eaters or someone who won't even try new food
-I briefly dated a man who had a large jar of coins- fine. But when going on a date, he would rummage around it and try paying for things with a massive bag of 1/2/5p coins, instead of changing them to notes!
-Hairy facial moles. They are so incredibly distracting when the person is speaking
-Adult man I dated who lived at home, saying 'Mummy, we are off now'! Then continued the entire night telling me all about 'mummy!'
-BO
-Filthy nails or manky, unclean, overgrown toenails
-1 long, little nail on their hand

Swanbeauty · 28/10/2024 19:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

FuzzyGoblin · 28/10/2024 19:11

A. Partner who can't drive
Plenty of people can’t drive. If it was a case their licence had been taken away for drink driving or dangerous driving, I wouldn’t look on as inconsequentially though.

b. Partner who has most teeth missing
From reading posts on here I think a lot of people would be surprised at how many people have multiple missing, rotting or unsightly teeth but it is disguised by dental work and implants or veneers.

C partner who doesn't have a job
As long as they have some purpose and meaning to their day, I wouldn’t be put off an unemployed billionaire.

These are all daft options as there is too much ambiguity.

Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 19:43

Haha, I went on a date with someone who paid with a bunch of coins too and it did put me off.

OP posts:
MillyMollyMandHey · 29/10/2024 07:40

Lyannaa · 28/10/2024 18:17

What if the teeth was due to smoking and never going to the dentist and the lack of job was due to MH issues?

Smoking is a dealbreaker for me, as would MH issues be. I'd support DH if he developed MH issues in a heartbeat, obviously, but I'd never go into it willingly from the start.

sorrynotathome · 29/10/2024 07:42

All of them (I don’t live in London). There’s no need to know the reasons.