I am looking to make improvements in my life , I’m pretty fit and I’m slim so it isn’t about losing weight, . It’s more for my mental health really .
I‘m a really busy mum with no family support at all, I lack a relationship with my mum (she’s always been very distant and uninvolved with me) which I have found very hard over the years and it’s certainly had an impact on me. I’ve 3 kids and I’m busy with work and the demands of everyday life. I believe I suffer a little with depression (but I personally don’t want to start taking antidepressants), I think it’s largely down to my upbringing. I can’t speak to anyone in my family as they don’t give me an inch that way and any attempt in the past to open up (I was chronically sleep deprived and struggled a little with 3 dcs under 6) is absolutely shut down.
I wouldn’t dream of speaking with any of them now, the last person I would speak to is my mother and this has been consistent from my early teens, ( I didn’t tell my parents or family when I had a miscarriage years ago) No matter what shit I was in, I absolutely couldn’t talk to my mum.
I have a great dh and I adore my children and overall I think I’m a good mum, it’s the most important thing in the world to me, I love my job but it’s demanding and full-on and with juggling children and childcare , I’m often exhausted even though my kids are now all older (again zero help from family in 14 years).
Im late 30’s, in good health (for now) and o try and exercise when I can, at lease twice a week (which isn’t much I know). I’d love to find an app which I could journal (I have a real one) or check in with achievements and health goals .
I’m able to drag myself out of feeling down but I lack the ability to look after myself a lot, I think it’s largely down to my background. I know I’ve waffled on but if anyone has any suggestions. I can’t do counselling, I just can’t , I’m totally unable to talk like that to a stranger.