Tell me about your ideal cheese board and have you ever ever made your own crackers ?

[Pollyanni]

Hoping for Friday night traffic to tell me what to take to a dinner party where I'm doing the cheese board. I normally cook so it's a real treat someone else is handling the majority of the food but I want to take some nice cheese and also make biscuits. I offered to do dessert or cheese and they asked me to go cheese. I love the Peter's yard crackers but they're ££ and I can't make cheese but I can bake so thought I'd do a cheese and nut biscuit and a rosemary cracker but all recipes welcome as I haven't done them before !
I was thinking grapes and maybe figs, celery (?) and a chutney and for cheese maybe a creamy one , a Lancashire as I'm from here and some others but a bit quirkier - hit me up with me your faves that I might be able to get at booths or the market cheese stall. Themes of flavours I can adapt to what's available. Hopefully I will find some cheese fiends among you ! Thank you 🙏

I love Comte, so I always put that on a cheese board (but mainly cos I love it!)

For me, if you can go local it would be a winner. Whenever I can, I'll be buying Blue Vinny, but it's a Dorset cheese that doesn't appear round my part of the world often. I'd go for:-

A blue.
Strong Cheddar.
Brie or similar (for others - yuk).
Something unusual like Stinking Bishop.
Goats or sheep.
Celery.
Quince paste (membrillo)
Grapes.

Got to have a blue, Stilton is a safe bet, but if you have any regional ones that might be nicer. Perhaps go to the cheese stall and ask to try a few things?

I was going to say Comtè too, I've only just recently discovered it, but I love it 😋

I love a truffle brie. Not sure if Vacherin is out yet but that’s always a bit special. Truffle honey is a great accompaniment too.

Home made oatcakes are delicious, as are sourdough discard crackers. But you need sourdough discard for that!

I made some crackers, I'm sure they were from the Becky Excel "Gluten free Christmas" which I got from the library, They were delicious.

Cheese straw type things are good- could do a cheddar and mustard pastry type biscuit?

You could make a board entirely of Lancashire cheeses.

Blacksticks Blue, a good Lancashire, Parlick Fell (a sheep milk cheese, one of my favourites) and I'm sure there's some good goat cheeses though I've not had any of those for a while.

I've never made crackers but oatcakes are really easy to make, I'm sure you can add whatever you want by way of herbs/black pepper.

Chef here

walnuts (you can caramelise them is you want to be fancy (baking sheet lightly coat in maple syrup then oven).

Figs and grapes are good for a cheeseboard also apple slices

Confitures/chutney depending on cheese

Mebrillo (quince paste) is nice, and keeps for ages

Tart up the board with some rosemary sprigs/greenery

Crackers are easy enough to make or you can buy a fancy selection eg. Peters Yard. Charcoal ones give nice colour to the board

For cheeses.

Saint-Nectaire
Tomme de Brebis
Bleu d'Auvergne
Comte is a good shout
Edam/Gouda

I use the rule:

Hard cheese (like content) soft/spreadable cheese (like goats cheese) something strong (eg Roquefort) + 1

4 cheeses as a minimum

This would be amazing as my son is coeliac so I could harvest some off for him

If someone else is cooking and you are normally the cook would it be a better idea to step back from doing too much. Not everyone would appreciate you doing home made crackers etc and stealing their spot light.
I personally wouldn’t care and I’m sure you know the personalities involved, it’s just a thought.

To answer your actual question-
Langres
blacksticks blue
With lots of fruit and oaty crackers

My go to is always the basics first, simple good cheddar for the less adventurous, some basic crackers, bread sticks, cheese twists, grapes, apricots, figs, pickles, olives. Then the main event, Cheese.

Brie and Camembert are easy classics, Gruyère, Monterey Jack. I also love a garlicy spreadable cheese, Co op garlic and herb is my go to but Boursin is just as nice.
Gorgonzola and Wensleydale.

I also love chutneys and jams a good sweet red onion, pickle and onion, roasted peppers, pear or grape jam, apricot or peach... etc

Don't event get me started on wine and cheese pairings

I've remembered one nice goat cheese we've had was Ribblesdale.

I'm sure booths has a good selection of local cheese, or farm shop type places. Our Sainsbury's has Parlick Fell.

Homemade Egg white and seed crackers, good for no carbs

Oh it wasn't my thought at all to be "look at my crackers" More to save money for nice cheese as the recipes I looked at, I have the ingredients for and would be more budget to cheese but I can see how it might look a bit off. 🫤. I'm glad I asked.

What does Comte taste like?

Perhaps make some bread rather than crackers?
I'd have a couple of Lancashire cheeses, maybe a blue Lancashire to go with the one you've mentioned. Then I'd add something creamy, like Brie or Camembert, and a goat cheese, perhaps one of the ash coated type. If I was still within budget, I'd add a cheese with fruit as they seem popular (though I think they are an abomination!)
For garnish I'd use grapes, perhaps some olives, and some membrillo.

Do let us know what you decided on, and have a lovely night!

TBH- I've never understood what celery sticks are for on a cheese platter? I'd love to know if people spread the cheese on the celery instead of a cracker, put the celery and cheese on a cracker together or do something else???

Membrillo- quince paste. If not that then figs or grapes.
Roquefort or the creamier cambozola
A smoked cheddar
Mature gouda
Goat cheese roulette thing with garlic and herbs

I prefer garlic crackers over others, but sesame are nice too.

TBH, I like almost any cheese. 😋

I can't comment on cheeseboards as I don't eat cheese, however this is a good cracker recipe.
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I found this :

Fruity and savoury notes take turns caressing your palate, with sweet and salty undertones bursting through in waves. Like the conversion of woods to countryside, the texture transforms from dense to open as it lingers, while aromas of roasted hazelnuts and caramelised butter spread like clouds on a clear sky.
😃

Baron Bigod Truffle.

Sheer heaven

@TurquoiseBear I'll be gutted if it's anything less than a movie scene for the taste buds now 🤣

On the bread v crackers v buying crackers I am annoyed at myself as I could've made a sourdough (I was late to the sourdough party - am not a bread w*nker)

I expect it to be practically 9 1/2 weeks!
😂😂