Picking up from play dates?

[Unopenedpackofmenssocks]

When you go to collect a child from a play date do you expect to be invited in? Or if you are the host, do you think it is rude for the person to collect quickly and go? I’m talking primary school age kids here with parents who often chat at the school gates.

I prefer to just have a quick chat on the doorstep but more and more I am getting vibes that it’s rude to grab and go. A big issue for me is that the host invariably comes to the door with shoes off and I am outside in my boots, so there is no organic stepping into the hall/kitchen for a slightly longer chat without having to faff about taking off shoes, and then the same in reverse 10 minutes later.

We operate a shoes-on downstairs (unless caked in mud of course) and that is how I grew up. Makes things so much easier.

It depends on if you are also already friends with the host parent I'd say.

I normally stand and make convo for a few minutes. That way they can choose if they wish to invite me in.

I'd wait to be invited in, rather than assuming either way. If I didn't want more than quick doorstep conversation, I'd say "sorry, I can't stop long".

I wouldn't expect people to stand and talk for any length of time unless we were separately friends. I'd be more irked by people that wouldn't go, than those who just exchange pleasantries, take their child and leave.

I wouldn't be expected to be invited in and would stay at the door unless invited in but more likely will grab and go.
Depends on your relationship with the host but also they've been looking after your child for however long, I wouldn't then expect them to host me as well.

If I'm friends or siblings with the parent I would be surprised if they didn't invite me in, anyone else it's a doorstep handover and a thank you.

Thanks. I know my motivation for not giving “invite me in” vibes is more about not wanting to faff about with my shoes than it is about not wanting to be sociable. But it looks like I am probably imagining the sense I get that they are offended when I am clearly not planning to hang around any longer than necessary.

Always invite in.

Social convention means most people step in the hallway, say we can't stay long , we need to get back home for bath time/bedtime etc...five minute chit chat. Job done.

never invite in and from about year 6 onwards I wouldn't even get out of the car when I picked up. I'd text daughter to say i'm here and she'd come out to car!

Step in the hallway and take their shoes off? For the sake of 5 mins chit chat?

I think you’re massively overthinking! Just because the host has no shoes on doesn’t mean they expect yours off. And it doesn’t matter whether you stay or not!

Oh my goodness have you not read all the threads on here about shoes on shoes off? The majority on here consider it the worst sin imaginable to step over a threshold in your shoes!

God, how long does it take you to take off your shoes for it to involve that much thought? Do you wear 18-hole docs on a daily basis or something?

Why not throw on a pair of slip-ons if you would be happy to be invited in if it weren’t for the shoe issue? I usually keep some in the car in case I stop off somewhere on the way back from a muddy walk.

No because if you step in the hallway and go nowhere else, why would you need to.

I dislike the whole experience of being in stockinged feet with someone I do not know well. I take slippers if visiting someone with a shoes-off policy. I also have a medical issue that can make bending down uncomfortable, but there is rarely a bench.

You’d think, right?