Twinkletoes127 · Today 16:20
I have had a friend for 20 years, a long term relationship where they're are many many times where one or both of us are busy so we wouldn't talk/see each other for months on end and that is ok. It has always worked for us.
My friend split with her kids dad, and got with another guy soonish after, resulting in another child. This man was extremely abusive and relatively short lived,although he left a huge emotional mark.
So about, 7 years ago, her first husband, who had issues of his own, applied for full custody of the children, it was a 5 year battle, she did absolutely nothing wrong, but the courts are difficult. During this time, she needed help, both emotionally, financially and physically for years on end, daily in most cases. There was rarely a day that we didn't talk about whatever it was that day/week.
So almost 3 years ago, I met a lovely man, and I took some time getting to know him and grow our relationship. By this time,
My friend needed much less help as court was sorted, she was more financially stable and we sort of went on one of our breaks.
I moved in with my partner after 18 months, and she met a new guy.
I called a few times and text, with no reply, so I would leave it, then after about 8 months and many many calls and texts with only a hi, can't talk right now I'm doing x,y,z I will call you back, those call back didn't happen, I left it for around 4 months.
By this time, I had been moved a year. I got engaged to my Wonderful dream come true man, so naturally the first person fter my kids that I wanted to tell was her.
So I called, and called and texted, and just got nothing. Eventually she answered, so I told her my lovely news, and she just said, she was busy, taking kids places and would call back.
No call back.
So my kids started a whatsapp group, and she was added.
I sent her a text asking her to come dress shopping, but she replied with that she's busy. I had to go on my own.
In the 10 weeks, there have been 320 messages, about bridesmaids dresses, and colour choices etc. I was asking for help with everything as its a DIY wedding due to money.
I finally spoke to her last week and I asked her if she's OK, and she told me no, not really. Weddings aren't her thing, and the wedding chat "does her head in" and she would rather see the "magic" on the day .
I was speechless.
So I called her back and told her I was upset. I've never ever asked for a thing in return for what I've done for her, and believe me, what I've done is not a little bit.
She's really quite upset, that she's upset me, she said she didn't know that it would be usual for the brides best friend to help with dress shopping, or organising stuff. But who doesn't know that ?
I didn't want to go wedding dress shopping on my own.