To eat in or eat out?

[Char65]

I've always been a SAHM but my husband has retired, we were talking to friends the other night and they said now they have no children at home (we have one son in his 20s) they eat out every night. We like eating out occasionally but I prefer cooking meals at home, with fresh organic produce and making them from scratch (I enjoy cooking its a bit of a hobby). Anyway, we had a bit of a debate about it as if eating at home was not as good as eating out, I know its all opinion but what do others think? personally I often prefer a home cooked meal (blowing my own trumpet here😃) but know where all the ingredients have come from and the kitchen is clean etc. and don't have to leave the house.

I rarely eat out as my cooking is better than what I get in any restaurant/take away.

In many cases it's the same here. As DD is home for the time being we are eating a mainly vegetarian diet, and the choice and quality is better than eating out.

I'd much rather eat at home, like you, we like cooking from scratch with healthy, organic produce.

I probably eat out once or twice a year and only for a social occasion.

I would never just go out for a meal with DH for no reason, we like snuggling up on the sofa together in the evening.

Eating out costs a fortune, is not often healthy, and quality is variable.

We are mid-50s and still work full time, but I can't see us suddenly wanting to go out and party in the evenings when we retire!

Eating out is lovely as a treat. I can't imagine how wealthy you'd have to be to eat out every day! I suppose if you were loaded, lived in a city, were very sociable and both hated cooking then eating out daily wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm none of those things though.

If we could afford it we would probably eat out several times a week. It would give us a reason for going out, apart from anything else! I am a fairly good cook, I think, as is my DH, but there are things I'm not good at cooking that I like to eat so it would be nice to have those.

In an ideal world, if I were retired I'd eat out twice a week. One mid week dinner and a lovely Sunday roast in a proper pub rather than cook a roast for two people.

Eating out every night would be ridiculously expensive and I agree with you, I like a lot of my own home cooking.

Surely that depends on the options available?

The cafe down the road does a lovely sandwich. But I wouldn't want one every day.
However there is elderly gentleman that goes there for a bowl of soup and a pot of tea every day. He can't cook for himself, they don't charge him full price. So he "eats out" but its simple.

I like eating out but after a day at work I can't be arsed so we don't do it very often.

We often cook at home and occasionlly go out to eat on weekends.Cooking is clean and hygienic at home.Haha

but there are things I'm not good at cooking that I like to eat so it would be nice to have those.

Yes, or I can't easily get the ingredients. I have an induction hob, so my stir fries aren't as good as one at a Chinese restaurant, and my Thai curries don't taste as good as the ones at the Thai restaurant.

I would rather eat out tbh. No cleaning, nice relaxed time chatting. I wfh so nice to get out. I think it would be lovely just to have the choice though

Restaurant meals taste different because they don’t worry about how much cream/ salt / butter etc they put in.

I imagine eating out every night would be pretty unhealthy.

Also, portion sizes are much bigger. I would be the size of a house if I ate out every night.

We used to call it a conversation, now it is a debate.

Some people like to eat in. Some like to eat out. Some will do both to varying degrees.

People like different things. How is this news?

They must be loaded, but well done to them for giving business to restaurants in these hard times when others may not be eating out so often.

@DustyLee123

thats subjective

also depends on the restaurant…I presume you are not a trained Michelin starred chef?

I prefer eating out but I'm not particularly bothered about organic/local produce to be honest. I can't afford to eat out regularly though so I do cook at home mainly.

How the other half live eh?

If I didn't work, had no children at all and could afford it, then yes I might eat out every night.

But since I do, I have and I can't then I don't.

Does that answer the question?

@LuckySantangelo35 We don't all live somewhere where there are Michelin quality restaurants.

The standard of pub food round here is not always better than anything we can cook.

DD is vegetarian and her cooking is way better and more imaginative than most vegetarian pub food where we live.

We'd have to spend a huge amount to get the kind of quality we have in our home cooking, so we rarely eat out. We go out once, maybe twice a year.

Generally speaking I prefer eating out but I wouldn’t fancy it every night.

It’s like when my kitchen had a refurb and I thought I would enjoy all the takeaways but takeaways two nights in a a row was actually pretty miserable and we were desperate for the kitchen back.

Restaurant food is usually full of salt and cream/butter etc to make it extra tasty. I'd love to eat out once or twice a week but I think that would be my limit.

it’s a bit like paying a cleaner imo - something you could do yourself but time/energy/cost wise it might make more sense to outsource

for someone with limited physical or mental energy, or someone with a lot of time constraints it might be very much worth it

I plan a budget that includes enough for takeaway or eating out, occasionally that makes the difference between eating or not eating, or it allows me to thank someone for helping me out when I know they wouldn’t accept a straight out gift/money, or it gives a neutral space for difficult conversations, or a break from home

people might have many reasons for eating out and if you think of all the costs of cooking at home from mental load to time and energy and logistics it might be worth it

consider every single step from deciding to do it : planning varied menu, shopping lists, going and doing shopping, paying for ingredients and cookware, storing them, doing the cooking, the skills and knowledge and fuel required, the clear up including heating water for dishes

the time to do all of the above, the mental and physical energy required as well as the financial costs of the whole shebang

and maybe throw in tensions with another person about divisions of labour and costs on top of tensions maybe already there about other areas

eating out in a low cost simple cafe, getting a meal deal, or takeaway and having a basic kettle & toaster only at home doesn’t start to sound so bad

but it’s horses for courses isn’t it?

a cleaner would really make my life so much easier but I can’t bear someone in my home to do it

eating out frees up energy I can spend on doing that cleaning, it also encourages me to get out of the house, and helps me connect with other people

I imagine eating out fulfils those functions for other people too just like paying a cleaner might free up more time for work or kids or caring and ease a bit of the mental load

equally I can imagine not trusting cleanliness or allergen control of eating out, or having other financial priorities that means it isn’t affordable, or preferring to know the origins of ingredients, or it being difficult to leave home at all

or just enjoying cooking as a hobby as OP has said, loving the busy home atmosphere and wanting to host friends and family as an act of love

so unless you are being forced against your will, or forcing someone else against their will, to eat out or stay in and cook then what does it matter?

it’s what works for you, and whoever you live with, within your budget and health needs

MY DH used to work in the City and he knows the husband from there, so yes, they are loaded and also have property. They live in North London so they have a lot of choice. We like to eat out occasionally but as a special occasion. But I do like dressing up and going out for a meal (in fact we're doing just that tomorrow) but I do think, as a rule, preparing your own food is better as you see what goes in (no salt for Hubby as high blood pressure ha! ha!) and its more comfy being at home and as I say I enjoy cooking although could be difficult with the children having 'different dietary requirements' - now it is just me and DH I enjoy it more as he'll eat most things though he likes a well cooked meal. I asked the question because our friends seemed to think it was a badge of honour eating out every night whereas I think its a badge of not knowing how to cook!

For some people it's just not worth the effort or maybe the stress. Not everyone's a natural cook and some people would rather have the time free for something else and avoid the mess afterwards! I can kind of see their viewpoint tbh. It's lucky we both really like cooking and we both do the clean up because it means we can share the load.