Toddler dummy ditching hell - help!

[Flangeosaurus]

DS is 3 in a few weeks and we decided to ditch the dummy last Friday. Talked it all through, the fairy swapped it for a small gift and off the dummies went.

Since then, bedtime has been hell on earth. DS is sooooo bloody stubborn and we’ve gone from a bedtime which took 15 mins where we left him awake in his bed with door half open and he just went to sleep good as gold.

Bedtime is now taking around 90 mins He’s screaming, flailing about his bed, flatly refusing to lie down, pulling everything out of his drawers, swinging off the side of the cot bed, just an absolute fecking nightmare. What am I doing wrong?!

Ditching the dummy was supposed to be phase 1 of trying to get him to stop coming in our bed at some point in the night but that’s still happening and bedtime has completely gone to shit. Anyone any advice?? He’ll be having the dummy back at this rate!

My DS's dummy went on holiday and was having such a good time it decided not to come back!

Could you lie down with him at bedtime for a little while for a couple of weeks until he settles? Keep gradually reducing the time you're there? DS used to fiddle with my hair - it was an effective distraction from the AWOL dummy.

He’s in a cot bed with a bed guard so I can’t get in with him but in any case he won’t lie down even if I’m sat next to his bed. He’d prefer to perch in the corner on the rail like a goblin and scream at me

Every time we ditched the dummy with #4 she just sucked her thumb instead so we let her ditch it herself as getting a thumb sucker to quit is so much more difficult IME.

I worry he will never ever give it up as I’ve never met any child as stubborn as he is. Also I really really want him to stop coming in my bed and I was hopeful it was the dummy contributing to the middle of the night wake ups. Apparently I’ve just created the worst of all worlds though!! I’ve sort of mentally committed to 7 days and then potentially will just give it back but omg the thought of doing this again next year

It’s unlikely to be the dummy causing the middle of the night wake ups. Almost all the two year olds I know do it, and only one has a dummy.

I’d also let him ditch it on his own time, to be honest.

You either commit, or you give it back.

If you give it back he will eventually stop himself, because his latch will go. I was a thumb sucker and one day I just couldn't feel the same comfort from sucking my thumb anymore. He'll grow up and it won't work anymore one day.

I’m really surprised (and tbh glad) lots of people saying let him do it in his own time. Friends and family were very much team ride it out! I don’t like seeing him hysterical though and it was starting not to feel right. It’s all a big shock to the system as his older brother gave it up no problem at the same age, just left it out for Father Christmas and never looked back. DS2 rather a different character though

Don’t send the dummy away - cut the end and it doesn’t give the same satisfaction sucking it. They give up themselves then!

I’ll go against the grain and say stick with it, although I so feel for you in this goblin phase! Won’t it start affecting his teeth if you keep it going?

Another vote for ditching it in his own time. DS was 3.5, wanted a big ticket toy (it was £90!) so I said it was for big boys and I’d buy it for him the following day if he went to bed without his dummy. Which he did no problem and we never looked back. If I’d tried to force it 6 months earlier before he was ready then I reckon it would have been a nightmare, and I’m never in favour of doing anything that messes with sleep!

Hello, I know this post is from a few months ago but I was just wondering how you got on with ditching the dummy in the end? I’m going to be attempting to get my 2yr 8month old to ditch hers.

@Forevertiredmam I was about to ask for an update too, and I have a very strong willed and dummy addicted 2.5 year old and am starting to think of the best approach to getting rid of them!