Don't really know what to do now.

[missmouse1969]

Met the love of my life a few years ago. His best friend and his now wife I adore and the four of us get on brilliantly and the four of us have booked to go away for the weekend to a foreign country in a few weeks time.
We all love to have a good time. Not so much pubs but nights, drink & music and each other's houses.
My other half's best friend's wife, has been a great friend to me through my separation and has been very kind.
Last weekend we went to an evening wedding reception.
Best friends wife was already drunk when we arrived (fine) and she met up with a couple of her pals there (they work together as cabin crew) and then got absolutely off her rails on cocaine supplied by one her cabin crew friends.
I was so worried about my friend. She was absolutely out of it.
I heard the next day that the other cabin crew girls are now also coming on our trip.
We all belong to a group watsapp where everyone was welcome to come on this trip.
I lost it a bit and said I'm now not coming. My other half has said the same.
I feel dreadful about this and feel sad.
Everyone around her was laughing at her clinging to a wall while high. Even her husband asked "what can we do to get XX out of this state and the reply was "she needs another line?!".
Gutted that I'm missing a weekend away and my friend and I feel we have let them down.
Can anyone handhold me please?
It's really bothering me....

boyfriend and I feel like we are letting them down

Why do you need this decision validated by a bunch of strangers? You've decided you don't want to spend your time and money with a bunch of strangers who will be boringly off their tits half the time and hungover the rest. Good on you.

Because I feel terrible about it. Prudish maybe?
But it's not just about this trip it's about the relationship between my other half and his best mate/wife going forwards.
We spend at least 2 nights a week with them doing different things.

If this is the first time drugs have been an issue in all this time then continue as was and just avoid the holiday and another time those other friends are there. It is right to hold your boundary you aren't prudish.

Express your concerns and tell her how it’s just not your vibe so you will sit this one out. It doesn’t need to end a friendship but you don’t need to sit in the front seat of that car crash behaviour.

Thank you all so much great advice

Ask her does her Airline ever do random drug tests, and is she aware that if they take a hair sample it will show drugs even if she took them a couple of months ago.

My friends daughter works for an airline and they do random alcohol and drugs testing regularly.

This trip abroad has the makings of a disaster and I would certainly not be going and not feel guilty about letting your friends down, did she show any remorse the following morning after being off her face and causing you to worry about her ?

I think you are absolutely right not to go. I wouldn't go either.

Are you not going to lose all the money you've spent on the holiday if you don't go? How can people just decide to join you at such short notice? Are you all staying in the same hotel with your own rooms? If I was going to lose money I'd go anyway and just spend less time with your friends.

She's promised she won't do it when we're away.
The accommodation is via booking.com and they still have rooms available hence why the other girls have been able to book.
She showed no remorse the next morning but has since said how sorry she is when I said I'm no longer going away with them.
I just can't get my head around why one of her friends would enable her to take more and more when she was already absolutely off her head on it & alcohol. It's a lethal toxic mix.

Thank you for your responses they've helped me a lot.

I suggested the 4 of us meet up last night. My partner lives a few doors up from them.
Her husband's response (my partners best mate) was..... "Don't worry all is fine."
So reading between the lines they're OK and have forgiven me for kicking off a bit for being concerned about his wife / my friend and now let's move on.
It just feels like such a kick in the stomach.

Well it’s weird that you spend so much time together. How old are you all and what do you do that you can spend all this time together? My DD is 20 and she doesn’t spend that much time with any 2 people.

But if you do spend so much time together, and are that close, surely you know that she uses cocaine? I mean, this is hardly the first time it happened.

I think you and your DP need to widen your social circle- you are too reliant on these people, especially if you have different attitudes to drugs. BTW, I hate drugs, but I wouldn’t spend time with a friend who was snorting cocaine.

I'm 50, my other half is 61.
The couple who we are close to are 47 and 52.