My grandma has been put on end of life care, how do I tell the kids?

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

They’re 13 and 6. They know she’s been ill, she was in hospital for months and is now in a home, obviously a lot sicker than they’ve ever known her to be. We’re a really close family so they adore her almost as much as I do. The care home said yesterday that they reckon she’ll go within the next 12 weeks 😔 I want them to be prepared because my mum died very suddenly just after Christmas and it was a huge shock to everyone.

This year has just been so exhausting 😔 I’m so tired.

As hard as it sounds, you just have to be honest
Don't use euphemisms - they are not helpful (telling a child someone has fallen asleep is stupid), but gently explain that she is old and ill and will probably die within a few weeks.
Let them ask questions, please answer honestly - this will help them process. It will also weirdly, help you
I am so sorry you've had this news - but a small silver lining is that at least you have time to express your love to her

You do have time to prepare them a bit as it's not ultra imminent. Are they aware of death? It'd probably be a bit abstract especially for the six year old to say "she'll die in three months". Maybe you could say this will probably be her last Christmas because the drs think she is going to die soon.

I would let them know that she is really really sick, she won't be going home, and that she will probably die before Christmas (just in case). But then be prepared for the questions - is she in pain (hopefully not?) Why can't she come home (because the doctors and nurses can look after her better where she is?) Does she know? Can they visit her? Will she know who they are? Do they have to visit her (I think that if she has not expressed a wish to see them and/or is not likely to know who they are they should definitely NOT be made to visit). Why is she sick? Will they get sick? Will you get sick? What happens when somebody dies? (That depends on your religion and what you believe - to my grandchildren I say some people believe that nothing happens when you die, the bit of you that isn't your body just goes away, and that other people believe you go to heaven or that you get reborn, but nobody really knows) And many other random questions you can't even guess at! You can let them know that you are really sad.

That 12 weeks ended up being 3 days 😔

So sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss. She’s going to have known how loved she was and how important she was to her family and that is going to have meant the world to her.

I am so sorry for your loos. I hope you got to say your own goodbyes and you and your kids can get time to recall happy times with your mum and grandma.