How to safely encourage healthy eating and weight

[fionabeeb]

I have a 12 year old boy and 9 year old girl. My Son has just started secondary school and has been enjoying indulging at lunchtime with pizzas, chips and curry sauce, McDonald's etc. My Husband and I don't agree on how to address healthy eating with our children. He is scared I give them an eating disorder or affect their self esteem by talking about eating healthier and issues around being a healthy weight. He isn't unjustified as I have a history of an eating disorder although have always been so careful not to impose any of my issues onto my children.
Unfortunately both my children are getting heavier and eating more unheathy by the day, mostly due to them having more say in what the eat for school lunches, both having very good appetites and since neither of them are fond of vegetables. According to the BMI calculator for children both are overweight, not by far but I don't want it to get worse. My Husband claims it's because they are nearing a growth spurt and they will stretch and it will even out.
I feel out of my depth not knowing how to approach the situation. The obvious answer might be to give them packed lunches however that singles my Son out as all his friends get money everyday and go to local takeaways for lunch. Sadly all the healthier choices are signifcantly more expensive so they tend to go places that do chips and pizza etc for £2. He has a huge appetite and eats cereal for breakfast then this for lunch, a good sized dinner (homemade lasagne tonight with a slice of garlic bread) then a snack before bed. Where he can he would nibble on anything you gave him except fruit or vegetables which he is more or less phobic of. He manages pureed soup and baked beans and more recently is tolerating small vegetables in lasagne and rice etc. Give him dinner and he would eat another plateful with no consideration (we were recently on holiday and he would eat 3 plates of dinner and pudding). He plays football 3x per week and walks to and from school/to friends houses and plays football in his spare time.
I've mentioned looking after your body by eating healthy and that to be fit and play football well you need to eat healthily. He listens but chooses the junk food anyway.
How do other families manage older children's dietary intake to help them maintain a healthy lifestyle and weight?

If you don't buy junk food and they don't have enough money to buy it themselves, they can't have it. That would be a start in the right direction.

If they're eating a 'main meal' type lunch then maybe they don't need a proper dinner and something like soup/ egg and toast/ sandwich would be ok for an evening meal?

I think instead of trying to get them to choose differently for lunch, you can do different dinners to compensate.
Lasagne and garlic bread is very high in energy so maybe it could be a smaller helping of lasagne and salad?

The simplest and easiest thing you can do is switch to packed lunch. They’ll get over it. Say it’s to save money.

Greatly reduce evening meal if he's eating chips and curry sauce or pizza at lunch, he could be eating more than half the calories (serving dependent) he needs for the whole day with that alone.

Stop buying junk food, snack on fruit. Protein yoghurt is filling, low calorie, and provides the protein he'd need for a growth spurt.

Cereal isnt necessarily bad, but can be high calorie too if it's sweet. Porridge or wheat biscuits would keep him fuller for longer.

He needs 1600-2000 calories a day.

While there's not a lot you cam do about the unhealthy lunches you can offer healthy breakfasts and dinner in appropriate portion sizes and restrict snacks if necessary.

Cereal is just processed carbs and sugar. You can experiment with egg-based breakfast dishes if they will eat them, or there are lots of delicious overnight pats recipes. Even something like porridge with cocoa mixed in is healthy but seems like a treat. Will they eat frozen berries on top? Or make a smoothie and again put cocoa in it. I get even get frozen broccoli into smoothies if I put cocoa in as you genuinely can't see it or taste it. Just have to hide it while you make it!

Lasagne and garlic bread is also high in carbs and fat. You can make a a healthy version using lean mince and white sauce made from skimmed milk and cornflour without needing butter. You can also hide lots of veg like lentils, or grated carrot and courgette. A good layer of strong cheese on top and they won't notice. Will they eat sweetcorn with it? Or sticks of cucumber or carrot?

It takes time and effort but there are lots of sneaky ways you can make their diets more healthy without them feeling hard done by. Don't buy things like biscuits or cakes (or buy them for yourself and hide them from the kids 😊).

Rather than talk about weight talk about being strong and healthy. The importance of fruit and veg etc. Talk positively about how good the healthy things are for you rather than negatively about the bad things. Then it feels like you're enoucraging them to eat (healthy things) rather than encourage a restrictive diet.