Why do people on mum’s net over analyse conversations or jump to negative conclusions?

[Hunnymonster1]

is it just me but lately I have noticed quite a lot of posts where say somebody might be in a shop and a shopkeeper has said something that majority of people commenting think it’s pretty innocent yet that person over analyses everything that was said to them? Are we now at a point we’re basically nobody can say nothing anymore and literally people fly off the handle over the most stupid things.
That and whenever somebody says something else everybody jumps to the most negative of conclusions like apparently all men are sex abuses waiting to pounce on everybody. The reality is none of this is true. I have never understood this
I don’t know maybe it’s my age of 44, but I’m not really sure what’s going on nowadays. I’m sure we were a lot of let live and carry on. It’s all very manic now and melodramatic and ridiculous when there’s real problems out there. Maybe some of these people posting don’t have real bloody problems and that’s the problem.
is it just me?

Are you talking about the charity shop thread

Well as one poster said 'a normal everyday benign human interaction' seems people cant cope with these any more

That was one yeah but then another everyone is assuming driving instructor is dodgy when all I see is it could be legitimate or yes he may be but the jumping straight away like wtf

I'm also 44 and have had, am going through many 'real' problems.

I still come on here for advice about the smaller stuff in my life as well.

After my daughter died some years back I was asking for advice on clothes, for example.

I've also been around long enough to know what people who say "nobody can say anything anymore" are really like and the type of stuff they really want to say.

First of all I sit on the left this isn’t about saying stuff that’s racist and I am very sorry to hear about your daughter nope I am in about over analysing stuff like how someone spoke say calling someone love like come off it . Or the constant omg that man is a creep when actually we don’t know that but sometimes it’s obvious I guess the constant jumping like everything is bad all the time

I never said you were racist. You came up with that all by yourself.

If a woman thinks a man is creepy and he's not then it could result in hurty feelings for the man, if a woman doesn't listen to her gut feeling that a man is creepy and decides to just be nice then it could result in rape and murder for her.

There aren't many sites out there that are unapologetically pro woman without much consideration for how a man feels and that's a massive part of what makes MN appealing for me, and many others.

As for over analysing general interactions, that's also a big part of what this site is for, to get views from others, people will post here for views and they probably wouldn't ask people irl.

Having just seen the other thread you’re talking about, of a driving instructor in his 50s offering free lessons to a 19 year old, which he needs to explain in person for mysterious reasons, calling her hun and putting kisses in texts…. Er, no. That’s not over analysing, that’s life experience and common sense.

It's Mumsnet not mum's net

There are a lot of really paranoid people on here who are always encountering strangers that give them dirty looks or snap at them. The only person I've met who "experiences" this (it doesn't actually happen) is bipolar.

Imo, it's quite a negative world out there, lots of people are hurting, nothing is the same as it was even 2 years ago, COL-wise, never mind before Covid gripped the world and never let go.
We as a people are not the same as we were, the socials have emboldened many to rant and rave anonymously, and to gain release and feel good about it, and so it goes on.
Many people are angry most of their days and take it out verbally, and online, resenting when others have it better than them, or they perceive it that way.
The vitriol and vileness and negativity is everywhere, on the roads, on the streets, in the schools, in politics, whether it be neighbours you're unaccepting of, or your partners, employers, 'the system', the COA, friends, kids; knee-jerk intolerance and lashing out seems to be on the rise everywhere.
Sorry for the negative post, but this is sadly, the way too many feel these days.

The depressing thing about this thread is the number of posters who had negative experiences of male driving instructors. It would be good if professionals behaved professionally to avoid others wondering about their intentions.

Ha ha lol

I agree it’s also the over analysing if say someone says something that legitimately is prob nice but folks are like wtf it just seems so melodramatic at times

Absolutely but I also see it about what I see as jovial banter conversations and folks being so prickly nowadays

The jumping to conclusions in unreal here, a bit like the armchair diagnoses. There are definitely paranoid people here.

ref - gay guy in charity shop thread. The lady had autism and some of them are very sensitive - i understand this

about people doing this on mumsnet, they do it to make a thread, otherwise there is no thread

about people coming on mumsnet and making long threads - some of these do not have other type of female communication

Long threads don’t bother me I am a loner disabled etc but it’s this hyper sensitivity I guess you would call it. Maybe it’s cos I am northern thick skin been through a shit load and great sense of humour nowt really bothers me . I do think some seem to have fuck all to worry about

I agree 100%. I have spent my entire life putting my foot in it and saying the wrong things to people, but I always meant well and touch wood no one was offended. Now when someone says something odd to me I cut them some slack and move on

How you feel is what you project into the world, and in turn it's what you see reflected back. Smile and the world smiles with you, and all that. A good example of this is the final scene of About Time, where he lives each day twice, with the second time round reframing each interaction and situation with a positive slant.

I don't see what you see. I see some people struggling, some people not. Some people's lives have got worse, and some have got better. I see beauty and kindness in human interactions. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I do think someone's mental state affects how they see the world.

I don't use social media and tend to skip over negative posts on Mumsnet or Reddit because it achieves nothing. All I'm basing this on is the people around me - and I live in a very deprived area, it's 9/10 on the scale, with plenty of struggling people, and yet I see people show kindness and humour in even the darkest times.

All sorts out there
I am mixed bag, can be very blunt and then get annoyed by people being blunt also lol
but these days I tell them if you don't like me, just leave me alone
or if you don't like my work, sack me
also have had overcome changes in life and seen various cultures
still learning though
liking mumsnet for the various points of view , some entertaining, some educating, some like what? I have never heard about Bold street in Liverpool but seems actually had valid amount of witnesses

WTF is your problem? Don't listen then or look the other way.

And FYI the guy usually is a creep. NAMALT idiot.

I am very much like u I think that’s why it perplexes me on here sometimes

Misery loves company and there's a lot of it on Mumsnet, it seems to spread like wildfire.

Back in the day, the negative Noras would've been keeping each other company, and swapping knitting patters around the guillotine.

lol the thing is it’s not negativity per say it’s this why did she say this when a person might have said something that sounds so innocent that gets me very hyper sensitive just lately

I stopped reading the driving instructor thread because of your repeated replies, @Hunnymonster1.

Now you've started a whole new fulmination to continue your supposed incredulity that a man offering free tuition to a very young woman as a mutual favour, while refusing to divulge the terms of engagement, is viewed with suspicion.

I'm taking a guess that you have never been a young woman.

You would be wrong I have I just never thought every man was a creep without justification. This post isn’t just about that it’s also about posts like the charity shop one where people over analyse conversations that are not harmful. Over sensitivity. I am a 44 year old woman yes I have been young but if someone offered me a free lesson I would wait until as he said he was gonna explain in person why . Obv if he was creepy then I wouldn’t be happy but she said he hasn’t been inappropriate before so I just think it’s judging straight away. Of course if she does feel a strange vibe then that’s on her not to have lessons but everyone judging when it maight have innocent reasons get me