Why do I want another baby when I don’t want another baby?

[Led921900]

I have three children, aged 7-4-2.
i am nearly 40.
why do i feel like i want another baby even though i don’t!
I don’t want the pregnancy
I don’t want the breastfeeding
I don’t want the financial strain

But idly when thinking about upgrading the car I’m looking at mpv’s and seeing if our budget would accommodate another kid.
my husband doesn’t want another baby.

Anyone else?!
Assume it’s my age, hormones and the fact my youngest is walking and talking now!

I have no answers but I am exactly the same. Early 40s, broody as hell, but in every other sense do not want another pregnancy or baby. Maybe if they arrived as a 1 year old....

Thanks not just me!
maybe 18 months!!! 😂
I’m sure it’s hormones and a last chance of hurrah, was googling age at last baby before contraception the other day just to see if 40 is too old anyway….
But in my head don’t want another baby!
It’s annoying thought I’d be finally moving on from everything baby now!
Guess it also leaves me wondering what life is like after the baby phase. 30’s seems so exciting with weddings and houses and kids (if you’re lucky I know I know)…. And then what’s the next 40 years?!
So generally think it’s a bit of a broody funk!!

Because you think you can't/won't?

I bet if you found yourself accidentally pregnant you'd be in a panic. But equally, if you were told tomorrow you could not have any more children, you'd probably be very sad.

I felt like that when I had breast cancer and was put into medical menopause. I was over 50 so although up until then my periods were still regular, it wouldn't have been likely I'd even get pregnant but having that possibility shut down was weird and sad, even though there was absolutely no way I wanted another baby.

well, try at least and see what does it happen
since 40 i have been doing sex with no contraception, dead womb

Hormones lol.

An extra child will make it difficult to all fit in a regular car, eat out at a table for four etc.

Lots of threads on here about this, there will be good advice on them.

It's the hormones trying to give you one final chance to procreate. If you don't actually want to, resist and it will pass.

Must be hormones. I love the fantasy of another baby, the reality of doing it again horrifies me.

Damn the hormones they’re pretty strong!

I could write a list as long as my arm as to why not, family of 5 is already quite limiting in terms of cars and holidays!!

I read somewhere that you need to accept you might always want another but doesn’t mean you really WANT another!

I have this all the time unfortunately I have ASD and obsessive tendencies and having babies is the main one. I have fertility issues so that’s slowed me down a bit (which is probably a good thing or I’d be like sue radford !) still have a big family but large gaps due to difficult ivf

Perhaps it's also the fact you have 2 under 5 so young children are sort of in your head a lot too. It's been all you've known for 8 years ( including pregnancy with the first).

Hormones. I don’t want another child, I had to be talked into having DC2 as it was, but Jesus my early 40s hormones hit me like a sledgehammer! It was a whole new level of broodiness, as if my body was reminding me that this was it, it was now or never to have another one.

I was sick every morning with all 3 from about 8 weeks to 20 weeks. Had to ask for a kidney tray thing at my 12 week scan with my first in case I threw up on train home!!!

so it’s mad hormones kick in so much.

I also get bored after a year of the status quo, a year on maternity leave I want to get back to work, a year at work I get bored too! When I feel like that always have to check myself and not do anything drastic like put the house up for sale or leave my job! Might be a mild depression where you feel like the next thing is going to make you happier.

It’s hormones. Mine occasionally try to stage a takeover too. I figured it was a ‘heading for menopause’ thing.

IME it gets better as the children get older, and you can really enjoy doing stuff with them that would be a lot of hard work with a baby in tow.

Definitely make the most of that because they grow up fast.

Part of why we had a third was to spread the growing up out a bit. My 7 year old is a joy but seems only yesterday we were building block towers together!

I’m kind of the opposite.

I hate pregnancy but I love the feeling of anticipation; something to look forward to. Then the final month and excitement and the feeling of taking that new baby home. And newborn shoots and pink or blue cards and balloons and maternity leave and baby classes and baby swimming and teeny tiny vests and adorable my first Halloween / Christmas / Easter outfits.

But then toddlers. God save me from toddlers

Oo me!

34, 2 children: 3 and 16mo. Horrendous pregnancies for different reasons. PND. Ongoing incontinence. Can't afford it. Don't have a big enough house or car.

I stopped breastfeeding at 12 months and the broodiness has been intense ever since.

God don't do this unless you want a baby. My friend had her accident at 49 😱

Last gasp of your hormones.

I feel bad my kid is an only and have considered it but at 38 I'm like nah.

I'm 40 at the end of the month . Feel the same , guessing it's hormones.

Yep hormones.

Having teens and getting to your late 40s/early 50s you may tenderly think how nice a baby/pre-schooler would be but no way do you want another teenager again 🤣

It's maybe hormones? Or actually just the stage you're at and saying goodbye to the baby years for good.

I've got three, same gaps as you but my eldest is 9 and my youngest is nearly 5. We are well past the nappies/prams/toddler type stage and my youngest has just started school.

If you offered me a million pounds I wouldn't have another baby, I'm 44 anyway and my DH had the snip earlier this year - we are done done done. But I still get nostalgic and a bit wistful when I see baby clothes in the supermarket or a friend has a new baby - I think that's normal. Once you are well past the baby and toddler years though I bet you wouldn't want to go back to all that!

I'm 35 and can really relate. Mine are 4 and nearly 2. I'm done. I feel complete. I hate sleepless nights and teething. And the winter illnesses... So why do I want a third?? It's just not practical but the urge to have another is overwhelming sometimes. Wish I could switch it off. DH was meant to have a vasectomy but I've asked him to wait a year now🫣