Would you let your 15 year old visit a city 4 hours away? 4

[Cremedemar193]

DS is year 11. We live in a very small, rural town. Him and his mates are wanting to visit a few cities. They've done one an hour away and enjoyed the day. Their next plan is to get the 7am train and visit one 4 hours away then get the 6pm train home.

Would you agree to this?

Yes.

Yes, of course. Why do the number of hours matter?

Absolutely- they’ll all have phones. Make sure they’ve got a printed copy of any digital tickets in case said phones run out of battery. What a nice thing to do!

Cynic17 · Today 08:54

Yes, of course. Why do the number of hours matter?

Well it’s similar to saying A city 120 miles away or whatever. Context.

My 15yr old goes to the nearest city 45 mins away. But she can’t go to one 100 hours away lol

Why wouldn’t you? I was going to Glastonbury with friends at 15! How will kids build independence and resilience if you don’t allow them to do things (with appropriate precautions) on their own?

Absolutely. Assuming it’s not a pub crawl it sounds great, I’m sure I was not as organised or adventurous at 15!

We live rurally, my kids are younger but already I’ve seen how they are not as streetwise as their urban peers. I think this kind of thing is a really good opportunity, dealing with train delays, finding their way round a city, etc. when they’re still young enough to come home at the end of the day and ask for help if they need it (I assume they have phones).

It depends on them . If they are responsible and sensible I don't think it's an issue. They are also traveling in a group. I think maybe they could visit some more local areas first. I grow up in London so other places didn't phase me. So I also guess it depends where you live. Going from a quite countryside location to a massive city might be a bit overwhelming.

I'm thinking if they miss the train or get lost or something goes wrong it's a long way for me to rescue them. There's a couple of train changes along the way so more chance of delay etc.

A city an hour away is fine for a parent to jump in the car if need be.

I do think it's good for them to get used to navigating cities etc. They might be heading off to uni in a couple of years.

It’s a fair point, but at that time of day if they miss a train there’ll be another one! Don’t rush to rescue them too quickly.

@Cremedemar193 What time's the last train?

Yes, absolutely.

I’m quite over protective and I’d allow this, provided they were reasonably sensible kids.

Yes, if they had a plan for what happens if there’s, for example, a signal failure and all trains that evening are cancelled. Sometimes replacement buses take hours and result in missing the last connection (or just don’t exist at all) and I could see them getting stuck, late at night. They’re too young for a travelodge to let them stay alone and in my opinion too young to be hanging around a train station for hours late at night. So is there a parent that is willing to pick them up in an emergency and how long would it take that parent to reach them by car?

It’s not comparable to being at University- they aren’t adults and they don’t have the range of solutions to problems that adults would have. So long as an adult is happy to bail them out if necessary then it sounds great.

Yes definitely

Of course.

Yes.

I would probably talk through a plan B - what if the trains go wrong? Etc

In a group they’ll be fine, generally train companies can’t leave you stranded.
i bet the train tickets are £££ though! Although at least they can still get child fares

Of course! If something goes wrong like they end up at the wrong stop or something then let them sort it out themselves. That's how they learn.

If something goes really wrong and they are knocked down by a car you'll have a tough drive but that's not the way to look at life, that could have happened any day of their lives but didn't so far.

Make sure they have back ups in case a phone breaks or gets stolen. As PPs say, have printed back ups of tickets and some cash just in case. Make sure they know your number. They will be fine!

I wouldn’t worry about this at all tbh

Yes I have done.