Moving house, stressed. Please tell me I can pause

[UhOhSpagettiOh]

Moving out of marital home. I'm in the process of buying a house and finding it so stressful. I have a big work project that finishes a week tomorrow which means a lot to me. I just want to do nothing on the house until after that. Is that OK? I'd like your permission! Ha!

I just got the survey back on the house and there are a couple of things that I need to get a quote for to get fixed. I just don't think I can muster up the time and energy to do that until after next weekend.

Give yourself a break diarise to do the quotes a week on Monday so you don’t forget. Then breathe and focus on what you need to for this next week.

Thank you @UsernameTaken76 I always have this crazy sense of urgency, as if everyone is expecting me to drop everything and do the next steps ASAP.

I just spoke to the estate agent to say where I am upto and to work out how I can arrange for builders to access the property. She told me to give the contractors her number.
Now that I've got off the phone I think she has misunderstood me... I'll be getting quotes off a builder not another surveyor. I'm not sure how I will arrange that really. Also I forgot to ask where the vendors are upto with purchasing a house as I have no idea. If I knew they don't have a house to move to yet, that would take the pressure off me I think.

The contractors can arrange access and collect keys from the agents while you get on with your work. It can take a couple of weeks so I wouldn’t sit on it. Can you email the agent and ask how your seller is with a purchase? Might be easier than phoning.

Would it be a contractor though? Or an actual builder.

Well what are the repairs you need quotes for... unlikely to be a builder really unless it's structural

There was an isolated damp patch in the dinning room. And the roof needs lining and the parting wall in the loft has a missing bit.

I was exactly the same with the 'crazy sense of urgency' when we moved recently! I put so much pressure on myself not to be the one to hold the chain up...sadly I think I was the only one in the chain that tried to move things forward and we came very close to the wire with mortgage expiry dates etc, everyone else seemed positively chilled and took ages to complete the simplest of tasks, there needs to be a happy medium for all involved I think.
If you genuinely will struggle to get the quotes then hang fire for now but if you can find the energy to get them done sooner I would do it, it will benefit you in the long run if you can keep the momentum going.

OK so I've posted on my builder the two things I need quotes for. I don't know why I get so overwhelmed by all the steps, on their own they aren't that difficult. I just hate it when I don't understand something fully and then I have to make a phone calls about it while I'm still trying to understand it all.

I do feel like the estate agent was trying to down play everything to me. I hate that feeling when I know someone is trying to manipulate me about something that I don't know enough about so I can't really object properly to it.

A contractor = builder, plumber, electrician, etc. I would get three estimates. From what you have described would a roofing company be better? Oh and ignore the agent they just want it to go through asap so they can get their commission. It is important to find out how much this work is going to cost before you exchange.

So I've just messaged two contractors (ones a roofer and one is a damp proofer) on mybuilding.com. I find this sooooo difficult, I'm not sure why. I hate all these little steps that I can't possibly predict. It all feels so drawn out. I hate how much space it has to take up.

I'm worrying about the hassle of them having to call estate agents up to get access to the house...and just think that this will mean that the contractors won't bother.

I worry about the estate agent trying to get in my way. I feel like they won't be very cooperative as they just want the sale to go through. I hate interacting with people who I can't trust.

Do you have any family/friends who could give you recommendations for trades? Word of mouth is always good. Just remember this is going to be the biggest purchase of your life and you need to get it right. Remind the Estate Agent of this. You don’t want any horrible surprises after you move in.