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Original poster

Just cried at work in front of my line manager, tell me it will be ok?

63 replies

NamechangeForthisquestion1 · 18/10/2024 12:56

Ugh. Just cried - thankfully over teams ... the trigger was being asked if I'm ok. Turns out I'm not.. it's not work or performance related, but things going on at home. I'm just super embarrassed and apologised profusely. I'm now scared I'm going to be fired. I'm not sleeping well at the moment and worried about everything.

My manager was reassuring and nice about the whole thing. But it wasn't very professional.

Someone tell me it will be ok?

OP posts:
SabbatWheel · 18/10/2024 12:58

Why don’t you ring her, apologise for getting tearful and just say ‘Look, I’ve got a lot of shit going on at home, and your kindness caught me off guard, but thanks for asking. I’ll be ok.’

DropOfffArtiste · 18/10/2024 12:58

No-one is going to fire you for crying.

teddybeartown · 18/10/2024 12:59

SabbatWheel · 18/10/2024 12:58

Why don’t you ring her, apologise for getting tearful and just say ‘Look, I’ve got a lot of shit going on at home, and your kindness caught me off guard, but thanks for asking. I’ll be ok.’

Please don't do this, OP
It would just make it awkward and put an unnecessary emphasis on the incident.

Just let it be a one off. You're human, it happens. You won't get fired for it. She might even suggest some support services to help you.

I hope things getting easier at home for you x

SwedishEdith · 18/10/2024 12:59

Bloody hell, I've cried loads of times at work. A good manager will check you're okay

Singleandproud · 18/10/2024 12:59

It's sort of a line manager's role, it won't be the first time they've been cried Infront of or the last. They should signpost you onto available support services like an anonymous employee counselling number.

garibaldiscake · 18/10/2024 13:01

Is that the first time? I've cried at work twice this year. Similar situation as you with outside pressures.

If work are going to bang on about us bringing our authentic self to work, then unfortunately they need to listen to us when we rock up.

I can assure you that unless your manager is brand new to management then this won't be the first time she's seen tears.

edwinbear · 18/10/2024 13:02

I've had direct reports cry in front of me at work, it's absolutely not a sackable offence! I'd be very concerned about an employees wellbeing and would be trying to help where I can, signposting to our employee helpline, asking if they need time off etc. No need to be embarrassed at all, although I can understand why you would be.

ShowerOfShites · 18/10/2024 13:04

My line manager has cried in front of me more than once, as she's a human being.

You can't seriously (and I mean actually seriously) believe you can get fired for crying when asked if you're ok?

Everleigh13 · 18/10/2024 13:06

People cry at work sometimes. Somebody asking how you are is also a common trigger for many people. I’ve cried at work and have seen some of my colleagues cry. It is nothing out of the ordinary and honestly not something you need to worry about. Hope you feel much better soon.

Cosycore · 18/10/2024 13:07

You are human op.
no one is going to fire you for crying in front of them.

If you’re not sleeping well, put work out of your mind. It is just work and if work and performance are ok, then aim to make the other stuff better.
I don’t know your circumstances for not sleeping etc. but I would aim for good sleep hygiene and doing other things that are restful when you are in the thick of it with stuff at home.

sarahanddig · 18/10/2024 13:07

OP I know how it can feel embarrassing but honestly don't let it worry you too much. Everyone has cried at work once or twice.
Hope you are okay and I'm sure things in your home life will resolve at some point Flowers

Original poster
NamechangeForthisquestion1 · 18/10/2024 13:07

Oh I understand it's not really a sackable offence. I've just not done it before and hate talking about my life and opening up about things. I'm sure he will have forgotten about it by the end of the day anyway.
I'm just struggling with anxiety and that makes it worse, irrationally thinking I'm in trouble.

OP posts:
Purplepeopleeaterz · 18/10/2024 13:07

It will be absolutely fine and your manager will hopefully be concerned about your wellbeing and support you in any way they can.

I have a huge team and tears are quite common, life gets hard and there's only so much you can hold in (especially when some one is kind to you and asks if you are ok)

Octavia64 · 18/10/2024 13:08

You won't get fired for crying.

I've cried in front of my line manager many times.

Very common on some jobs (teaching, social work, etc)

housemaus · 18/10/2024 13:09

Oh please don't worry, as a line manager I've had people cry on me so many times! Over all sorts, too. He won't give it much thought, I promise. I hope you're feeling better soon.

CarlaBird · 18/10/2024 13:11

I'm a manager, I couldn't possibly count the number of times people have cried in front of me. They're humans, people have things going on. I'm completely unfazed by it.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 18/10/2024 13:11

She’s not going to judge you for crying once. You’re human and everyone has emotions. It sounds as though she was very understanding and handled the situation well, which shows you have a good manager. I cried at work a couple of times at my last job which was a completely toxic working environment. Nobody even asked if I was okay.

Cosycore · 18/10/2024 13:12

NamechangeForthisquestion1 · 18/10/2024 13:07

Oh I understand it's not really a sackable offence. I've just not done it before and hate talking about my life and opening up about things. I'm sure he will have forgotten about it by the end of the day anyway.
I'm just struggling with anxiety and that makes it worse, irrationally thinking I'm in trouble.

You don’t need to tell them anything you don’t want to, but they may want to try and support you, if they are able.
for example, if you’re needing a bit of time at either side of the day - they may be able to accommodate you with something like that. (That’s just an example)

but if you’d rather not share, and they ask you, you can just say “thanks for the support. I have things happening but these are under control/ I don’t wish to talk about it/ i am not ready to speak about it yet”

take care OP.

twomanyfrogsinabox · 18/10/2024 13:12

The worst thing for someone to do is ask if you are OK when you are close to breaking down, it just becomes inevitable. The only thing I can't cope with is sympathy if I'm in a bad place!

Confusedmermaid1 · 18/10/2024 13:12

I cried to my line manager in an annual review which in turn made her cry 😂 the pair of us must have looked a sight coming out of that room. She knew I was going through something outside work and was apologising for upsetting me (it really wasn’t her, she was asking me if I wanted to put a formal education course in my goals for the next year but I’m TTC and had a MC so it just tipped me over the edge thinking if things had gone to plan I would be on maternity etc 😅)

Hope you’re okay OP. Certainly not a sackable offence to cry. If she’s a decent LM she will hopefully sign post some support available if you need it.

(edited because I posted too early)

Radiatorvalves · 18/10/2024 13:13

I frequently have people cry in front of me (big names corporate). It’s a non issue. Btw it’s not me being a bitch… it’s nature of my job (think hr/wellbeing).

rwalker · 18/10/2024 13:22

Don’t worry as a manager I would of expected him to reach out to you to check you wellbeing

the last thing he’ll be thinking about is sacking you

Chimbos · 18/10/2024 13:32

Part of being a line manager is looking after your staff and getting the best out of them. If you’ve got something going on at home you absolutely should be letting your line manager know so they can cut you a bit of slack if you’re struggling. As you are not a robot, you’re likely to cry when talking about something difficult. An experienced line manager will be used to this. If he does anything other than provide support it is him who would be in trouble- not you.

CheekySwan · 18/10/2024 13:35

i've cried on my managers, my HR lady, my colleague and then when a member of staff came to me and she started crying,,,,so did i out of sympathy, i wouldn't about it, we all have bad days.

I was asked the other week over teams by the HR advisor how things were going and i started again (stuff going on at home she knows about)

She should check o you though, quick text or something

Hope you are feeling better now ❤

Differentstarts · 18/10/2024 13:35

SabbatWheel · 18/10/2024 12:58

Why don’t you ring her, apologise for getting tearful and just say ‘Look, I’ve got a lot of shit going on at home, and your kindness caught me off guard, but thanks for asking. I’ll be ok.’

Apologies for what being human. It's ok to cry. I cry most days iv lost count of how many times iv cried at work. I really wouldn't think much of it

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