Feel guilty being happy after my mum /gran have died...

[treeesgrowontrees]

I'm 39 now.
My mum passed away when I was 14 with cancer.
I'm an only child and we were best friends.
My gran promised her she would look after me and she did with bells on.
My gran was my best friend
She was so special and I can't explain how much I loved her.
From 19 to 35 I was her full time carer as she had dementia.
I went through depression/anxiety the world because it was just me and her and the last 2 years were so hard.
There would be weeks I didn't leave the house
I couldn't go as far as Tesco as she couldn't be alone.
She passed away 3 years ago at 99.
I honestly thought I would never smile again
She was my world

I met my now partner a few months after.
We have been together just under 3 years and live together but I just feel so guilty as I'm happy.
I could never imagine going back to the life I had and it makes me feel so guilty.
I loved her so much but I was so unhappy and now I'm happy.
Next month we are going on holiday and I feel guilty for being excited.
I feel guilty laughing some days
Does this make sense ?

It sounds like they’ve brought up a well-balanced, kind, empathetic soul. Live your best life as a tribute to them ❤️

I’m sure they would have wanted nothing more than for you to be happy.

The best way to honour someone you’ve loved and lost is to take on the traits you loved them for - so maybe their kindness, or the effort they put into relationships. By showing the same kindness/humour/friendship to people in your life you’re honouring them every single day!

Don’t be scared to live your life for you. It sounds like you’ve given up plenty of it to loss/caring already - now is your time to be happy!

Don’t feel guilty. I understand why you might feel that way but your mum and gran sound fabulous, what an honour to have two beautiful women in your life that loves you so much. Live a happy life for them.

I lost my dear mum just over a month ago to leukaemia. She was 69. My mum was my whole world. We chatted to each other everyday. We saw each other all the time. She was always there for me, whether it was to do with work, my sons, my marriage, money anything. I feel like half my world has gone and half of me has gone with her and I can never be the person I used to be. Does that make any sense? I also can’t allow myself to feel happiness as I feel so guilty that I still have my life and she has lost hers. I would just love her to be able to send me a sign that she is really happy and that she wants me to be happy too.

Does anybody understand why I feel like this? Is this normal?