Coping strategies for rising anxiety in closed off situations

[PearlyQueenie]

I’m 55, menopausal. I’ve put this here for traffic.

When I was peri menopausal I had terrible anxiety. I’ve got over this, but a bit still lingers. I need help with some coping strategies, so I don’t stop doing the things I love.

I’m going about my day happily, then it will surface in these real examples;

I get to my exercise class and for the first 10 minutes I’m fighting anxiety, I’m not enjoying it, I’m scared I’m going to run out. I take the slot nearest the door in case I do, so no one can see me fly out.

I’m getting my hair cut, I’m looking forward to it, I love my hairdresser. I’m sitting there and start to get anxious and dizzy. I’m scared I’m going to get up and run out and look a twat.

Same goes for being in a concert, getting my nails done, seeing a movie…and generally anywhere I have to stay put for a while and can’t really leave.

So far I have gotten over it, but it’s ruining every experience. There usually aren’t opportunities to distract myself.

In the past I’ve had propranolol, but they make me feel shit and give me a headache. I feel I need a tactic to lower the anxiety level or a coping strategy to bring it down.

Might sound a bit random but I recite the service stations, in order, on a long drive I do regularly. If I'm particularly stressed I do the return journey, vary the route or switch to train stations. If you're ever stuck next to someone muttering 'Chievely, Membury, Leigh Delamere...' under their breath do say hi...! Something similar mindless but soothing to recite might help?

Distraction is key. I do my 8 x tables as it's bizarrely the one I have to think about but I love the service station idea @QueenRefusenik . I learnt some tapping stuff back in the day and although I don't think the tapping itself did anything, remembering where to tap and how often was a great distraction technique (and everyone thinks you're just touching your face and don't notice).

Breathing is something you can do either unconsciously as you go about your life or under your conscious control. Everything else is either one or the other.

Regulating your own breathing is a powerful way to help calm your anxiety.

If you feel the anxiety rising, simply focus on breathing out on a long slow exhale and let the in breath sort its self out.

If you can manage more, try breathing in to a count, and then making the exhale a tad longer. Say breathe in on a count of two, out on a count of four.

Notice where you actually feel the breath coming in and out of your body. Your nostrils. Your throat. Your lungs. Your belly. Switch your attention between these. Keep your in and out very gentle. Avoid gasping, you are looking for very very gentle, soft delicate feel

Have the breath go all the way down into your lower lungs and belly.

How you feeling now? Practice when you are relaxed, including in bed at night so when you need to do this in the day you are confident you can sooth yourself.

Look up @anxietyjosh (joshua fletcher) on Instagram. He's a therapist specialising in anxiety, and has written a book on this called "And how does that make you feel?". It's excellent.

Thx so much. I’ve got a class in a few minutes.

I’m going to try some of the techniques. I may start off on 2 times tables though ;)

Usually I’m ok after about 10 mins when I tell myself to work harder in the class

when I tell myself to work harder in the class

Do you ever find yourself speaking harshly to yourself ? More harshly than you would to encourage a friend?

Maybe keep an eye out to make sure you are treating yourself with respect and with kindness, as you would a friend. Be your own best friend.

I’m not speaking harshly to myself, but thanks for the comment.

I think what I should’ve said was, I tell myself to listen to the instructor and concentrate on the exercise and try and get a good workout and before I know it, I feel better.

Interesting that after I reached out here, I didn’t gave any anxiety in my class this morning. I enjoyed it!

I enjoyed it!

Great update, thank you. Best there is.