Best bit of parenting advice?

[No17CherryTreeLane]

Going back to basics, with MN originating as a parenting forum - what is the best advice you can give to a new parent, or parent to be?

Mine is take up any offers of help!
Try not to be too precious about things - look after you first.* *

Always aim to be out the door 15 minutes earlier than you actually need to. 30 minutes with a newborn. Then you might only be a little bit late for where you're going.

Mine (not my advice but advice given to me) was - “don’t feel smug when it’s going well, but don’t beat yourself up when it’s going badly.”

Do whatever works for you, and ignore comments about it.

For example, bed time (for a child not at school), indeed anything to do with a routine that works for you and the child, what they eat, when they eat, when you forward face a car seat (within the law, of course), what they wear, how often they bathe... You get the idea!

Treat your child with the respect and consideration that you would like them to show towards you and others.

Get a dcat instead...

Don't have four.

Do what's right for your child regardless of others opinions.
Toddler needs to eat at 11.30 otherwise he loses his mind with hunger? Give him food at 11.30, don't wait for the faffers to set the table. Let them grumble that things aren't perfect. You're the one who'll have to deal with the tantrum.
Baby needs milk before leaving cafe despite original plan being she"d nap longer and thus wake later in the park? Feed her now. Let the people waiting for a table wait longer. You're the one who'll have to deal with a baby so hungry she's screaming too much to notice a boob in her face.

Took me a while to work out that half my stresses with small children were trying to obey social norms, particularly around people with poor understanding of infant brain development and maturity, and once I ignored these and put my tiny children's needs first, life became easier.

Remember the long term aim is to raise a functioning, happy, confident adult, not a well behaved child.

Give yourself regular tlc and breaks along the way guilt free.
You deserve it xx

If your dc have been playing with Lego, don't walk around the house in bare feet.

Sleep when the baby sleeps. I KNOW it's one of those things where everyone will say you can't do it because you have so much else to do.

I said exactly this with my first child. I barely slept, was running around like a blue arsed fly and laughed when people said to sleep when the baby sleeps.

2nd pregnancy, I developed epilepsy. I was so exhausted that I slept every time my baby slept. If I hadn't, I would've had more seizures. Yes, the house turned into a shit hole but it turns out you CAN actually sleep when the baby sleeps. You just need to lower your expectations of what you can do in a day.

Just have one.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Ask them questions. And tell them stories. Later on they will ask you and tell you. By the time they are teenagers this is important.

Everything is a phase, and once you've got the hang of this phase another one will come along and you're starting all over again learning how to respond to your child at this new point in their development.

Instinct. Follow it. If it feels right, great. If it doesn't, do not do it.

Do not expect your child to be a small adult. The most important thing to do is remember to try an get inside their head and see the world through their eyes and brain. For example, what looks like a mess to be tidied up to you is a whole magical world to a child.

False expectation and failing to treasure a child's outlook on the world cause so many problems.

It's all just a phase. Good stuff and bad stuff. So enjoy it or ride it out as appropriate. It'll change again before you know it.

Reading through and thought “aah these are nice!” Then got to yours and snorted! 😆

Don't feel pressured to have so many visitors in the first couple of weeks like I did. You need time and space to get to know your baby.

The days are long, the years are short.

Repeat every time your newborn/toddler is fussing and driving you moderately insane.

No two babies are the same, what works for your friends may not work for you. The first 2 years are straight up survival mode in my experience. If you're lucky enough to have a partner/family make sure to lean into them to give yourself time off so you don't lose yourself. Mentally it makes such a difference.

4?
Def don't have 11...
Not quite sure where my head was at....

😱😱😱

Your head went walkabout quite a long time!

Start as you mean to go on with their father. Make sure he pulls his weight.