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Original poster

Struggling with parenting

2 replies

jenpat38 · 17/10/2024 15:10

I’m 25 with 11 month old DS. I love him to bits I really do and knew I always wanted children young and feel well and truly blessed to have been able to get pregnant as soon as I did. But I’m just finding it so hard right now. I have a lot of family support which includes my parents, a brilliant DH who is an even more brilliant dad. It’s just the days that feel non stop. He’s at that stage where he’s attached to me, I can’t go to the toilet or cook without him grabbing onto my trousers and screaming the house down. If I sit down on the floor he calms down and plays but the moment I move to do something all hell breaks loose. I take him for walks, Soft play and baby groups but the moment we go back home everything goes back to normal. DH doesn’t get back until 6.30pm and will take over after this but even then he’ll see me and start fussing and whining again after a little bit. He doesn’t sleep until atleast 9pm either no matter how hard I try at putting him to sleep earlier

My MIL lives down the road and always says she’ll have him for a bit if I ever need a break and don’t get me wrong I trust and know she loves him to bits but we had a few issues and arguments when he was first born and I just can’t seem to get over how I felt about her around that time.( we went low contact for a few months) She is also the type to over feed him and feed him chocolate if she thinks he’s hungry or sees someone else in the house eating it and looks at it (she is incredibly soft with DH’s younger DB who is 8 years old) and I worry she’ll be like this with my DS.
I feel so guilty that I’m constantly wishing DS would grow a bit older so he can play on his own and just be happy independently, I feel like I’m wishing his baby stage away. He has two naps during the day which only last about 20 minutes each and I feel like this isn’t enough time to get anything done. I go back to work in a few weeks 3 days a week and my DM will have him these days but I just feel like I can’t hear myself think at this moment in time. Does it ever get better?

OP posts:
reabies · 17/10/2024 15:26

Hiya, I found 10-15 months really hard work. DS was still very clingy, but wanted to walk and was frustrated, too small to do the park or very much at soft play, but wanted to be into everything. I went back to work at 11 months and not going to lie that definitely helped, but I did still find my days with him hard work.

Once DS started talking and walking, around 14 months for both of those to start, I noticed a big improvement, and it's got a lot better since then.

I am still the preferred parent so there are a lot of times when I've nipped upstairs or into the kitchen, or god forbid I try to have a shower, and left him with DH and I still get shouted for - DS is now 2.5. But the bond we have is lovely and a lot of the frustration and toughness I found at that stage has disappeared.

You're doing really well, getting your kid to play independently is so hard, and having them tag along to help with stuff often isn't very helpful. It will get better and he will get more independent, this will pass.

Original poster
jenpat38 · 17/10/2024 15:43

reabies · 17/10/2024 15:26

Hiya, I found 10-15 months really hard work. DS was still very clingy, but wanted to walk and was frustrated, too small to do the park or very much at soft play, but wanted to be into everything. I went back to work at 11 months and not going to lie that definitely helped, but I did still find my days with him hard work.

Once DS started talking and walking, around 14 months for both of those to start, I noticed a big improvement, and it's got a lot better since then.

I am still the preferred parent so there are a lot of times when I've nipped upstairs or into the kitchen, or god forbid I try to have a shower, and left him with DH and I still get shouted for - DS is now 2.5. But the bond we have is lovely and a lot of the frustration and toughness I found at that stage has disappeared.

You're doing really well, getting your kid to play independently is so hard, and having them tag along to help with stuff often isn't very helpful. It will get better and he will get more independent, this will pass.

Thank you so much for this! x

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