Light dilemma

[Samandytimlucypeterolivia]

So we all live together, me, DP, dc, mum and my sis. Not an issue, we all like to watch certain things as a family, DS 16 literally only watches 3 Tv shows, big brother, I’m a celeb and ant and dec Saturday night takeaway. He’s recently been diagnosed with kerrataconus which is a thinning of the cornea. It causes blurry vision, and light sensitivity which means DS can’t watch Tv with the lights full blast as it cause glare and he can’t see much, we are waiting for an appointment for a slight operation and contacts to help with this, but nhs and especially our local hospital have a huge waiting list. My sister for some reason needs the light on 24/7, understandably when she’s eating, but after that she moan the lights need to be on, for no other reason, they generally get on but sometimes this causes a rift, we’ve all agreed to turn the light down but I’ve noticed DS still squinting. Obviously it’s a family home so everyone is entitled to have a say but she can’t give me a clear cut reason why the light needs to be on. My mums had several arguments with her about it too, the light is off 1hr/ 1 1/2 hours max but she’s still kicking up a fuss. I’m not sure how to rectify this as no one’s in the wrong, I’d just appreciate a little less attitude for something DS can’t really help. He barely comes out of his room usually.

Sounds very selfish of your Dsis if she can’t explain why she needs the light on

Does she have additional needs of her own perhaps?

Possibly, I personally think so, but she generally gets on okay so my mum never got her assessed. DS is autistic which also comes with a whole other array of issues, but it’s literally a fight most nights at the moment with big brother on and I’m a celeb right after… come December it won’t be a problem 😅

@Samandytimlucypeterolivia

i can't stand the lights not being on either, I'd NEVER choose to sit in the dark with the tv being the only light source.

my Dad always used to say it was like an operating theatre! I don't like just side lights either, I like 'the big light' on & others!!

BUT if my nephew was suffering, I'd sit in the dark quashing my 'needs' for his NEEDS.

why can't your sister go to her room if it bothers her that much and it's not all evening, every evening??

can your sister manage with a small task light for when she is eating or for the space near her that might not affect your DS?

for example, these little table lamps are great and you can shift it around to just the area your sister needs.
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Nope we’ve tried that, it has to be the big light, however DS said he can manage for 15/20 mins whilst she’s eating although he has said he doesn’t understand why she can’t eat in the dark… personally I need the light to eat so I can’t say much on that front.

She likes to watch the same programmes…

Does anyone have a tablet, can your sister or DS go to their room to watch? Maybe take turns so it’s not always the same person alone?

Is there anyway to turn down the brightness of the TV - just thinking that a bright TV in a dark room would probably give me a bad head

Simple. Your sister watches TV in her room whilst your DS watches his programmes. I'm afraid I'd have to set heavy ground rules for this. Eyesight is precious and he is your son, you must protect him. His eyesight is waaay more important than your sister's possible additional needs. End of.

Lights on while eating and then dim while watching TV. I like bright lights on if I am reading a book, crocheting etc but while watching TV etc I prefer dim lights otherwise its not very cosy!

Don't think I'd want to be sitting completely in the dark either with only a telly for light

Surely that can't be good for his eyes either

Could you get those colour change bulbs to see if that makes things different for people

Can son wear sun glasses .
This what I do if light is too bright .
I have issues with light .

Smart bulbs? We use them and have a different colour on for watching films etc then suits everyone.

Can you fit the main light(s) with a dimmer?

Some people with keratoconus find that having the screen's brightness reduced and dim background light is more comfortable than a dark room with a bright TV.

If that works your sister should be expected to accept it as a compromise. And stamp down firmly on any attempts to keep adjusting it. Maybe mark the 'right' spot on the dial and insist it's kept to to minimise anyone's discomfort.

Wow! I absolutely hate the big lights being on, I can see really well in the dark though. Just shows that we are all different.

Big lights for me all the time! I find it quite imposing sitting in the dark watching TV at home. Same as when people want the curtains drawn when it is lovely, sunny day outside. But- if a family member had a medical issue I would of course be understanding. OP- good you realise it is reasonable for your sis to be able to see her dinner whilst eating- and to teach your DC this

If I was your sister I'd go watch the shows in my room. Maybe help chip in for a tablet if she hasn't got one.

It sounds like a preference v a need. One of those should get priority. Could you split up to watch the programmes with your son in another space? Alternating the lounge room with your sister/you and your son.
Having reread it, it would also depend who owns the house/pays bills etc. Because you, your son, other dc, partner are a larger group to relocate thsn your sister but if you share the space equally it is difficult. There should be a compromise but she seems very uncompromising based on your responses.

Al is okay on this front, well has been for the last few days, we’ve just turned the lights off and nothings been said, or no one has moaned. DS isn’t trying to be difficult, he’s struggling and until he gets the appointment for his treatment I guess we’ve all got to compromise. Fingers crossed it’s soon..

Could be wear a baseball hat? Might stop the glare from above?
I'm with him, as long as I can just about see my dinner I only need the small light on or not at all 😁